Adult kids leaving the nest and moving far away....

[ZZman]

Our oldest daughter moved to Colorado years ago and is married and has a 3 year old son. Our youngest daughter just moved to Florida with her boyfriend. Both are now far away from their Michigan roots. I know they must grow and spread their wings, but I wish they wouldn't have flown out if State. It makes it hard to see them and help them if needed.

How about you guys and gals out there?

 

[dja4260]

My wife and I moved from our family across the county. We have 3 kids... My wife's family loves where we live and visit often, my mother-in-law now lives with us. My parents are retired and I can't get them to visit, period. It's disappointing....

 

[Pablo]

Our oldest daughter moved to Colorado years ago and is married and has a 3 year old son. Our youngest daughter just moved to Florida with her boyfriend. Both are now far away from their Michigan roots. I know they must grow and spread their wings, but I wish they wouldn't have flown out if State. It makes it hard to see them and help them if needed.

How about you guys and gals out there?

Essentially the same. Two daughters out of nest.....different states.

Thing is..............I was the kid who had to get out of California. Life happens, I'm glad my kids can live anywhere they want. Freedom.

But yeah, now youngest going to have first baby in March. Long way away!

 

[supton]

Mixed feelings. My inlaws were close enough so that we could visit, but at 3.5 hours each way, it was a real time suck for us. My parents were similar, but being blood relatives I was more amenable to that drive… but then they moved 1,000 miles away and I can’t visit right now, which is really starting to bug me.

Not sure what my kids will do. I certainly don’t want to hold them back, and this area doesn’t have that much to offer. All the same, it would be nice if they don’t do what my wife and I did, and move a state away when we flew the coop. But it’d be hypocritical if we complained about it, so if they do, we’ll travel and visit when we can.

 

[buster]

Our oldest daughter moved to Colorado years ago and is married and has a 3 year old son. Our youngest daughter just moved to Florida with her boyfriend. Both are now far away from their Michigan roots. I know they must grow and spread their wings, but I wish they wouldn't have flown out if State. It makes it hard to see them and help them if needed.

How about you guys and gals out there?

Now you have a good reason to get out of the cold state of Michigan and move somewhere warmer.

 

[PimTac]

This is what FaceTime is for.

 

[Spector]

As you age and have grandchildren you may consider moving closer to one of the children. Also, consider which child has a better outlook for caring for you as you age, helping you in lieu of you helping them.

 

[Wrenchturner44]

I am seeing this in my area too. Kids today have choices to go where they want since "work anywhere" has become a thing. They seem to be more in tune with a climate, lifestyle, and financial choices (state income taxes, cost of living etc) that earlier generations were not motivated by due to families being close by.

 

[Snagglefoot]

Not much you can do. Just try find some upside to visit them. Also use Zoom or other software to have a video chat but try not made it a big formal deal to set up a Zoom session. The toughest thing is when grandkids come along. I have a daughter who lives in Bermuda. Not such a tough place to visit. Try make the best of it.

 

[dja4260]

I am seeing this in my area too. Kids today have choices to go where they want since "work anywhere" has become a thing. They seem to be more in tune with a climate, lifestyle, and financial choices (state income taxes, cost of living etc) that earlier generations were not motivated by due to families being close by.

You nailed why my wife and I choose to move 12 hours from both of our childhood homes, leaving our family and friends...

I don't regret our decision to move. We have a better quality of life here and it's a better for our 3 kids.

 

[Astro14]

Six kids. One in Arizona with a child of her own. One in Utah. One in Winston, NC, with three kids. One in DC. One in Vermont. One still in college in CT.

We do a lot of flying…

 

[Leo99]

It's best if you're just happy if they're happy. I encourage my kids to move away to someplace nicer. I mention San Diego and they tell me it's too expensive there. Yeah, but it's really nice there. Plus, I tell them that I'm not staying in NJ when I'm able to move.

 

[JustinH]

12 years ago we were making $14 an hour working mundane jobs in Buffalo, NY with college degrees and no change in site.

We moved to Austin and really got our careers going day one. Now we live near San Antonio in a new house and both work professional jobs.

Better weather, more stuff to do, higher salary, nicer house, more diverse people, various circles of friends, etc etc.

When I go back home to visit family they say they live their lives through watching us on facebook because we do so much, and they sit at home and do nothing. Let that sink in for a minute, how sad.

 

[Sonic]

I am the kid who moved away lol. In ‘99 my wife and I moved from our home state, moving away from family and friends. Leaving all that was familiar. We’ve moved and lived in a lot of states. Our kids were born in different parts of the country. We certainly don’t have the traditional relationships with our families which makes things difficult sometimes. Growing up I never imagined moving away but it became necessary for work. It’s been an adventure but also hard. We obviously don’t see family much so my kids (teens) never really got to know their cousins or aunts and uncles. Really never spent much time with the grandparents either.

 

[Passport1]

Birds gotta learn to fly;

 

[Quattro Pete]

Our oldest daughter moved to Colorado years ago and is married and has a 3 year old son. Our youngest daughter just moved to Florida with her boyfriend. Both are now far away from their Michigan roots. I know they must grow and spread their wings, but I wish they wouldn't have flown out if State. It makes it hard to see them and help them if needed.

It could have been worse. Both my parents as well as my wife's parents aren't even in North America - 4.5K and 8K+ miles away. Haven't seen them in over 3 years now, and they haven't seen their grand kid.

What's keeping you in Michigan?

 

[SammyChevelleTypeS3]

We been the "empty nest" for years now. It takes time to get used to it. Especially if you are a close knit family unit. We were. Two sons 4 years apart who were more like twins they were so close. We also did everything with them. Took them on 3-4 trips a year. Now one lives 600 miles away with a wife and son, the other 80 miles away with wife and two kids. So we get to see the closer one often and his kids come spend weekends now and then. We get to see them and his in-laws often. That is nice YET still not enough for my wife. It is much harder on her. I think men can handle that kind of stuff better than women. I am glad she decided long ago to work past retirement age since still in good health and has way too much nervous energy to stay home anyway. We are taking care of wife's 88 year old mom who is stubborn and will not move in with us and won't go into assisted living so that keeps us both busy (I look out for her when wife is working since she live 5-6 miles from us) and I can see it is a burden on my wife. When they get that old they can and often will manipulate family in all kind of tiny ways (I think to prove to themselves they still can!?).

 

[RhondaHonda]

I’ve got 3 young kids and live in the same metro area I grew up in. My mom is 20 minutes away and helps out often with the kids or coming to visit. My in-laws live in Florida but come in town every few months or my wife takes the kids down to visit. It’s a perfect scenario for us and the kids get to see their grandparents a lot. When I was a kid my grandparents were late 60s and early 70s and seemed OLD! My mom and in-laws seem so much younger and active even though they are in that age range.

 

[SammyChevelleTypeS3]

Essentially the same. Two daughters out of nest.....different states.

Thing is..............I was the kid who had to get out of California. Life happens, I'm glad my kids can live anywhere they want. Freedom.

But yeah, now youngest going to have first baby in March. Long way away!

Congrats on grandchild. One of the greatest things to happen to me in the last 10 years. We have two young grandsons and a grandaughter who is shockingly turning 9 years old. They will blow your mind how smart they are even at young ages....

 

[CharBaby]

We gotta let’em fly!
For as much as we can teach’em while they’re in the nest, there are things they’ll need to learn on their own(often by mistake) even if it’s what not to do…again.