Adult kids leaving the nest and moving far away....

Well, we have about 2 weeks to go with babysitting. My daughter and her husband are both teachers so they inherit the kids full time. Granddaughter is 1. Grandson going on 5. In September he’s going full time to school. Granddaughter will need someone to watch her. I’ll say, it’s a mixed blessing. i use a baseball analogy. Doubleheaders Monday and Friday (both kids) and single games Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Grandson loves to play checkers with me, he’s learning chess too. Granddaughter a handful, into everything, but I refuse to let her trash the place. It’s really good exercise for me. Our trips down the Danube are on hold but my wife and I work well together and offer them care that money can’t buy. That’s our arrangement, it’s not for everyone.
 
I’ll say it’s really great to have real family real close. I grew up that way, my mother did too. My friends that still have it make out well in terms of many flexibilities and opportunities.

My in laws are a flight away, my parents are close but still 1.5+ hours. Makes many things tough. Thing is, kids need to chase success.

What get me is when kids want to move somewhere because they just think it’s cool, or because it’s a “young city” without any real plan. Then the parents need to fly all over, the kids have no support structure, etc.
 
My daughter, is 29 years old and owns two houses as rentals and she lives at home which I don't mind but one day she was complaining about something and ! said you have 2 houses , move into one of them !!! I got the expected huh as she went to her bed room about 10 minutes later she said dad I am not moving out it is too expensive , Kids these days what can you do!
Smart daughter
 
My daughter, is 29 years old and owns two houses as rentals and she lives at home which I don't mind but one day she was complaining about something and ! said you have 2 houses , move into one of them !!! I got the expected huh as she went to her bed room about 10 minutes later she said dad I am not moving out it is too expensive , Kids these days what can you do!
I’m not sure that it’s good that you’re effectively financing her endeavor. It’s not THAT expensive. You’re not charging her rent? For food?

I am a big proponent of parents helping their kids to get off on the right foot, debt free, and with very supportive families. But this seems over the top.

I want to give you some perspective from the kid-side of things, as I don't have kids. I'm sure it's hard that they've moved such a distance. I'm sure it was hard on both of my parents as well, RIP to both of them. I grew up in a dying rust belt town, and my parents advice--to all of us--was to get the h-e double hockey sticks out of there, and go to a place that makes you happy. My brothers moved a few hours away. I moved a few hours a away for a few years, and then cross country to the left coast.

Fast forward 30 years, and life has frankly turned out great for me. And I have a really hard time imagining it turning out the same if I hadn't moved.

Thing is, my parents always hid their disappointment that we were so far away, especially me. I knew it bummed them out, but I think they didn't want to be a downer to me and make me feel guilty, and they were also genuinely happy that I was living somewhere where I absolutely loved being. And my hometown wasn't that.

So, my advice: try to hide your disappointment from your kids, cherish the time you get with them, and be happy for their successes. They moved because you gave them the tools to do so and be successful, so treat that as it's own reward. Their success and happiness is your, too.
That’s an interesting perspective. Of course every situation is different, but I have friends from Ohio and Illinois and places that have certain issues, and as soon as they could retire they packed their bags and moved to live within a mile of their kids… see their grandkids often… really a nice setup if you ask me.

Now I don’t like change, not sure I’d want to do that (though I love kids and would want to be close to my grandkids as possible), and I’m not sure I’d want my parents to move in that manner…. But in a situation where it’s not a great place to live for whatever opportunity, it seems like the parents moving towards the kids is a good idea. IDK…
 
If you don't want your kids to live far away, don't pay for them to attend an out of state college. Most all of my friends who have done this never had their kids move back.
Probably highly dependent upon the fields specialized in. Some jobs you can get anywhere, others you can’t. Had a colleague who had this issue - his wife had a doctorate in a specialty that was very rare, and so they had to move to a place where they could both get jobs.
 
Probably highly dependent upon the fields specialized in. Some jobs you can get anywhere, others you can’t. Had a colleague who had this issue - his wife had a doctorate in a specialty that was very rare, and so they had to move to a place where they could both get jobs.
Mostly it was attatchments like girlfriends or boyfriends who didn't want to leave their area plus jobs turning into careers.
 
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