That's great and all, but not the same as seeing someone in person. Not at all.
Adult kids leaving the nest and moving far away....
- Thread starter ZZman
- Start date
SammyChevelleTypeS3
$50 site donor 2023
Grandparents being close is a blessing. Growing up mine were in bike distance from our house and my parents had to drag me home from their house every night of the week. They gave up on weekends. I spent so much time there I had my own room. Grandfather had all the time in the world to keep me out of trouble either hunting, fishing or taking me to college football games. You are lucky if your kids can spend time with them.
OMG
Colorado is really expensive. I honestly don't see my youngest staying in Florida. Plus Michigan is a beautiful State.It could have been worse. Both my parents as well as my wife's parents aren't even in North America - 4.5K and 8K+ miles away. Haven't seen them in over 3 years now, and they haven't seen their grand kid.
What's keeping you in Michigan?
SammyChevelleTypeS3
$50 site donor 2023
I have flown a lot for work and some vacations. Even to drive home classic car from out of state, YET I have always hated to fly.
We expect all of our kids to head West. We looked at potential retirement locations in Montana, Idaho and Utah last summer. I don't see us moving to Seattle. But moving further West after parent pass and we retire is in the realm of possibilities. I could see us working as docents or other staff in a National Park or similar stay busy jobs after we retire. Or at least try it for a summer or two.
I'm hoping to retire in the next 6-7 years. oilBabe gets to her full pension status in three, so she'll move on to something where she doesn't have to awake at the crack of dawn.
Moved South 15 years ago, relocated kids to new schools (HS and Middle) at the time.
Now college graduates, all live within 2 hours of us with very good jobs. Except for the oldest whom stayed up in NY.
As far as grandparents go, we dont agree with many in here and some will agree with us.
I never imposed my kids on my parents to be their baby sitter and dont misunderstand my parents loved all their grandchildren but I didnt work my whole life to retire then be stuck babysitting just like I didnt expect my parents too either. Talk about selfish and "entitled" kids!
Your entering the late years of your life and your on this planet to make life more easy on your kids? It should be the other way around.
Anyway, we always made sure to get baby-sitters for nights out alone and for trips, well guess what? You bring your kids, after all, why wouldnt you?
When you have kids its time to be a grown up and take responsibility to properly raise them.
Now I am not saying having a grandchild for a sleepover is a bad thing once in a great while, not at all but I see some young parents constantly unburden themselves from their responsibility of raising their children to go off immaturely without their kids. I mean, what the heck???
Now college graduates, all live within 2 hours of us with very good jobs. Except for the oldest whom stayed up in NY.
As far as grandparents go, we dont agree with many in here and some will agree with us.
I never imposed my kids on my parents to be their baby sitter and dont misunderstand my parents loved all their grandchildren but I didnt work my whole life to retire then be stuck babysitting just like I didnt expect my parents too either. Talk about selfish and "entitled" kids!
Your entering the late years of your life and your on this planet to make life more easy on your kids? It should be the other way around.
Anyway, we always made sure to get baby-sitters for nights out alone and for trips, well guess what? You bring your kids, after all, why wouldnt you?
When you have kids its time to be a grown up and take responsibility to properly raise them.
Now I am not saying having a grandchild for a sleepover is a bad thing once in a great while, not at all but I see some young parents constantly unburden themselves from their responsibility of raising their children to go off immaturely without their kids. I mean, what the heck???
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SammyChevelleTypeS3
$50 site donor 2023
I had great fights with sibbling about exactly what u speak of. I never started them. I think it was their own guilt at using my parents as baby sitters.
They would accuse my wife and I of being to over protective of our own sons cause we did NOT leave them all over with babysitters. Duh, we had kids 4 a reason, to raise and spend time with. Sadly that is not he reason a lot of young today have kids. TOO MANY kids today are not being raised properly and that is the direct pipeline to crime and anti social behavior. (OK... enough... This is NOT political though some will say it is.)
I did this to my parents. I joined the Coast Guard in '99 and wanted to get stationed as far away from Southern California as I could. Not because I wanted to get away from my family, but because I wanted to see a different part of the country. I ended up in Connecticut and got married there. Eventually, my wife and I did move back to Southern California. We lived there for 8 years until we had our own kids and outgrew our 2 bedroom condo. We couldn't afford a house, so we looked elsewhere in the country. We ended up in a suburb of Kansas City and love it here. My parents did not believe me when I told them we were moving. I felt bad taking the grandkids so far away from them. We did what we thought was best for our family. We are 1500 miles from my parents and 600 miles from my wife's family. My parents visit once a year and we do Christmas alternating years between families. My parents have talked about moving out here a few times, but in the end I don't think they'll leave my sister and her family in Southern California.
I look at my own kids (11 and 9) and think my oldest will move away and the youngest will stay close to home. My oldest shares my fascination with exploring while the youngest is content to stay home. It will be strange when they both move out of the house and go off to college. Ask me then how I feel about them potentially moving away.
I look at my own kids (11 and 9) and think my oldest will move away and the youngest will stay close to home. My oldest shares my fascination with exploring while the youngest is content to stay home. It will be strange when they both move out of the house and go off to college. Ask me then how I feel about them potentially moving away.
Consider two things. You are lucky. And you have done a good job of raising normal children who want to go out into the world and make their way. Yes it's sad for you. Too many children don't want to leave home these days. Right now my 43 yr old son and 41 yr old daughter still live with their mother who is on husband #3. She makes things easy for them and doesn't require anything of them.
You must have done a good job. At first they won't want to come home much but down the road as they get more maturity and wisdom, they will want to come home more often.
There’s nothing for them to do in Buffalo, NY ?
My kids are 20, 18, 16 and 10. I would think a reasonable chance one or more will move away and my wife and I will have somewhere to visit or potentially move. I'm hoping so at least.
I retired from my job at 70 so I could enjoy raising our grand daughter. She is a delight to be with and she would stay with us all the time but she loves her daddy and that is my son. He treats her.like a princess. She is now 7, and a new baby sister has come along.. Daddy is now having to give some time to sister. Our first calls us and says can you come and get me. Obviously we do. She is just over 7miles away. I never imagined how fun it was to be grandpa when I had my three sons. .Only one has given me the pleasure that it brings. My other 2 sons moved away and have no children. They married professional women that don't want children.. They have no idea what they are missing.
There is plenty to do. Just that certain types of people life in a bubble of repetition, and don't go outside that bubble.
They could go down to florida and complain about that too..
AutoMechanic
Site Donor 2024
My sister moved out when she was 18. Moved back in when she was 20 with her boyfriend (now husband) and had a child shortly after. Then she moved out again and hasn’t been back since. She still visits and we visit her and her kids and husband but they live about 25 miles away I just mean she hasn’t lived at home since then. I missed her but we are 10 years apart so I grew up alone pretty much and nobody in the neighborhood had young kids at the time so I was alone as my best friend in the neighborhood had moved away luckily I still talk to him though and remain close. My sister was always either sleeping or out with friends or playing the PlayStation so I never really got to do much with her as our age difference was a decade so we weren’t necessarily into the same stuff.
Unfortunately that day will come for me when I do move out but right now I have it made I don’t have to pay for anything except insurance and I couldn’t be more grateful. I do want to move closer to work so I don’t have a 30 mile commute each way but at the same time I want to stay where I grew up. I also love that I have the whole basement for my tools and dog and then still have a room upstairs to sleep in and have privacy and decorate as I want. And while I’m young I don’t want to move out as I don’t want to make any wrong decisions as far as housing or anything like that goes. And if I moved out I’m worried I would be lonely until I find someone to be with. And I always want to make sure I’m here for my parents if they need me. That’s why I want to live close by. My grandma and aunt live about 2 minutes from where I work so it is good to have them close by as well if I ever need anything or if they do.
Unfortunately that day will come for me when I do move out but right now I have it made I don’t have to pay for anything except insurance and I couldn’t be more grateful. I do want to move closer to work so I don’t have a 30 mile commute each way but at the same time I want to stay where I grew up. I also love that I have the whole basement for my tools and dog and then still have a room upstairs to sleep in and have privacy and decorate as I want. And while I’m young I don’t want to move out as I don’t want to make any wrong decisions as far as housing or anything like that goes. And if I moved out I’m worried I would be lonely until I find someone to be with. And I always want to make sure I’m here for my parents if they need me. That’s why I want to live close by. My grandma and aunt live about 2 minutes from where I work so it is good to have them close by as well if I ever need anything or if they do.
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This right here
is spot on in my opinion. PERFECT!I’ve got two grandkids close, hence my recent baby sitting rant, and two 1000 miles away that its getting harder to see on a regular basis. I wish they were all close. You get used to not seeing people, even when its family. But its not a good thing. Zoom and FaceTime, in my opinion, is a poor substitute for seeing, holding, and playing with your grandkids. It’s a alternative borne of having no other choice.
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