And this is what causes me worry about my daughter being raised by my unfaithful former wife.
This is why I've advocated that infidelity is a primary reason to deem one an unfit parent. If someone is not willing or able to keep his/her word to their spouse, what makes society think they are a good role model.
However, the courts believe (wrongly) that it's usually always in the best interest of the child to be with the parent with whom they've spent the most time. There is little if any examination to see if that parent is defective.
Of course we are all defective. The question is merely are our defects serious enough to warrant concern.
Apparently breaking ones vows, lying, cheating, bringing a strange man who is willing to break his vows into the family is not reason enough to cause concern.
It's interesting. Most children are not molested and/or abused by their fathers or family, but by some stranger who mom has brought into the family.
Yet courts don't seem to be concerned about the fact that the majority of divorces are brought by women who have no grounds other than they don't feel like they are loved by their husbands. These women are not abused, they are not betrayed. They simply don't get to live out the MTV or daytime drama, bodice busting novel, or fill in the media model that applies.
So the cycle continues.
It's not just MTV, there are all sorts of media sources that set up both unrealistic expectations and unhealthy role models for both men and women.
Society is pretty much on top of the ones that are bad role models for men, such as porn. But there isn't the same type of concern about the emotional porn being offered to women each day. Things that I believe are just as destructive.
I for one am sick of the double standard.
Men are called dogs, but the last time I checked, if a man is cheating, there is a woman right there willing to go along with it. Where is the outrage for her actions?
There is none. Or it's excused. She's called naive, or manipulated, or whatever excuse is offered on her behalf.
Sorry, the excuses don't fly.
And these folks are raising children while wholesome dads are kept out of the child's life simply because he had the nerve to work and earn enough so that mom could stay home and decide she was bored and wanted something different.
I'm not talking about dads who were never home, but dads who worked and took the kids to soccer, or volleyball or even to doctor visits, etc.
The church doesn't get off either. They are more concerned about gay marriage, which impacts probably 1% of the population, but have given up when it comes to fighting no fault divorce. Often, the church is right there with the rest of society, blaming men for the break up of the family.
Well, I don't buy it, since as I've said before, 2/3rds to 3/4s of divorces are filed by women, and in all divorce actions, only about 6% actually are victims of abuse or betrayal. The remaining decisions to divorce are due to no longer wanting to be married.
Yet it appears the church is more concerned about gay marriage, which is a far smaller population than the nearly 50% of couples in their own congregations that are breaking up in this fashion.
So basically, my rant is it appears society really doesn't care about the family. It's all about whatever makes me happy, who cares what the costs may be.
Originally Posted By: Gary Allan
Your children will generally adopt the values that they see you live ..not what you tell them is virtuous. While it has happened, it's unlikely that you'll get your child to "upgrade themselves" from how they perceive your true conduct in, and disposition toward, life.
The more successful you are in "being defective" ..the more they'll see no point to being anything better. "It worked for dad. He cheated, lied, manipulated, conned ..etc..etc..etc. ..and it worked for him while he left me to figure most of this out on my own"
Most parents don't have close relationships with their children. They're superficial and their children are "managed". It's not a full time commitment. It's what you do "when you have time".
