Need ideas - FIGHT Myspace.com!!

[K-Man]

Children under 18 absolutely do not need cell phones, pagers, and computers. The only exception should be for the last for essential school work and research. It baffles me why parents buy this stuff for their kids, do little to monitor or control it, and then wonder why bad things happen.

Concerning computers, Henrico County here in Virginia issued its high school students iMac notebooks a few years ago and just upgraded to Windows units. However, the Richmond paper has reported countless problems with students viewing inappropriate websites despite filters and monitors.

Concerning cell phones and pagers, schools originally banned their possession in school because the rugrats were making drug and other shady deals using them. Now two more widespread problems with the phones in schools are appearing: (1) students using text messaging to cheat during tests, and (2) phone ring tones deliberately set at frequencies too high for most adults to hear (because we lose the ability to hear upper frequency sounds as we age).

It seems that most parents have no clue what websites their kids visit, what kind of information their kids are giving to others online or over the cell phone, whom their kids are talking to on those phones, or who is paging their kids. That "friend" of your teenage daughter's on the cell phone might be a 40-year-old molester. But few parents these days attempt to exercise control.

I lived just fine without all this stuff when I was coming up. Today's kids don't need it, with the one exception mentioned for valid schoolwork, any more than we did coming up.

The solution is not to let the kids have this stuff in the first place. And that should also include TVs in their bedrooms, video games, or the "mandatory" new car at age 16 upon receiving the highly unnecessary driver's license. American children consistently come in near the bottom in international comparisons of scholastic achievement. The too-much-freedom issue is a huge reason.

[/rant]

 

[Zee1]

mandatory new car LMAO.

my first car was at age 19, and it was a beater 87' RX-7 that I bought for $1800.

I wish I was given a car, or maybe I don't.

A lot of parents provide their kids with all of the social bling-bling so that they can allow their kid to basically keep up with the jones' like their parents are trying to keep up with the other kid's parents, and the kid learns from mom and dad what life and social interactions are all about.

You can NEVER have too much freedom, you just have to use it responsibly and if you can't teach your kid responsibility then of course your only other avenue is to take their freedom, makes it easier on you.

 

[Brons2]

quote:

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I call my solution the "Air Gap Firewall". Guaranteed to block all objectionable content!

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lol!!!

oh how I wish I could do that at work sometimes.

Just today someone brought in their personal laptop and plugged it into the network and started surfing. They KNOW that is against the rules. I got the MAC address and started tracing downg the physical port they were logged into, but BAM just then they disconnected!

I wish I could log the port address table on my switches somehow...

No matter. Pretty soon, port level authentication is coming, thanks to jerks like that. We've got too much sensitive data to protect.

 

[Brons2]

quote:

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mandatory new car LMAO.

my first car was at age 19, and it was a beater 87' RX-7 that I bought for $1800.

I wish I was given a car, or maybe I don't.

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I got my first car the week before my 20th birthday. The only reason my parents bought it was because I had a football scholarship and they had bascially saved a bajillion dollars on college.

This was in 1990, I got an 86 Honda Accord that already had 116,384 miles on it. I never took it for granted. I did all the maintenance myself for the next 142,000 miles and 7 years. The oil never got over 3000 miles on it. BITOG content: Valvoline or Castrol 5w30.

 

[K-Man]

"You can NEVER have too much freedom, you just have to use it responsibly and if you can't teach your kid responsibility then of course your only other avenue is to take their freedom, makes it easier on you."

Zee1, I respectfully disagree when it comes to minors. By definition they are not responsible (notice I did not say, or mean, "irresponsible") and are dependent upon others. Children need control and discipline and need to learn self-control and responsibility before freedom has any meaning. Too many parents have fallen down on the job when it comes to this chain of events. Freedom, maturity, and responsibility all must coincide. Of course, when it comes to their own actions, a lot of adults in society today haven't gotten this message either. Many of these adults, it turns out, were uncontrolled as children and never learned . . . well, you know.

Part of the problem with kids joining gangs and committing violent crime is really "too much freedom", that is, not enough supervision and control by idiot parents. Letting kids have unrestricted access to computers, video games, TV, cell phones, and pagers is just a watered-down version of the same problem. Study the links between children's access to these devices and afflictions such as hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder sometime.

But I'm from the old school that says that children should be seen and not heard and should be taught to obey a responsible adult without question. That's gone by the wayside too.

Parents must tightly control children's use of and access to electronic gizmos. The idea should be to allow more privileges as the minor shows maturity and responsibility. Concerning computers in particular, children need to learn basic reading and writing skills and, later, basic research skills the old-fashioned way before schools expect them to touch computers. The schools are falling down here too. (Sigh.)

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If children aren't allowed on the home computer in the first place, you don't have the MySpace.com problem. Just as if you don't allow them to play with lighters, you don't have to worry so much about them burning down the house.

 

[Cogito]

The internet can be a scary place to expose a kid to, that's for sure. But there's really nothing you can do about MySpace, or any other of the thousands of websites where a kid can get into trouble or have access to inappropriate material. I think it comes down to a trust issue and teaching them what is right, safe, appropriate, etc., and hoping that they have enough sense to believe you. Otherwise, it's time for the keyloggers, etc., or no internet access.

I'm amazed myself by the number of pedophiles that are coming out the woodwork on these investigative news programs lately. Has this been going on all along and no one noticed it?

 

[Pablo]

quote:

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Hello,

Thank you for reporting the profiles. Some of the profiles in question
have been removed.

However, we reviewed some of the profiles in question, and were unable
to find any definitive proof that the user in question is underage.

If you are personally familiar with this individual, please notify them
or their parents regarding our age limit as per our Terms of Service.
Please note that our Terms of Service has changed recently in regards to
this matter.

Please have them contact us if they need any further assistance in
removing the profile if the individual is underage.


Thank you,
MySpace.com

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What this means is that they only remove "outrageous" age claims. They make zero effort at the 14 year barrier. Of all the underage people I reported they only removed the ones claiming 17, 18, 19, 21, etc. So this in a way makes helps my claim - why allow the huge pool of so called "14 years olds" to mix with 18+ people? I know this won't help at all with lying old man perverts, but it's a start.

[ July 11, 2006, 07:21 AM: Message edited by: Pablo ]

 

[Master ACiD]

myspace or any other website (including bitog) are an outlet for people to express themselves. it is their choice weither or not to participate in it. it is my choice weither or not i type this text or chose to ignore it and move onto another topic elsewhere.

youre daughter had a choice and probably knew you wouldnt approve of her language and lack of self respect when she did those actions, none the less she did them anyways.

pablo you seem like a nice guy however i wouldnt look to place blame at myspace. its only a website.youre child chose myspace. even after she saw what goes on there she still stayed on myspace. that right there should tell you something. a child is a product of their upbringing. why did she chose to stay on myspace? its probably got something to do with the parents.

 

[Pablo]

You guys miss my point. I am not "blaming" myspace. However myspace advertises as having controls and being "teen friendly".

M. Acid - how old are your kids?

 

[Steve128]

Just one thing to add to Al's comments about cell phones. If your child has a picture phone, the photo's are time dated. If they say they are at Jack in the box (where ever), fine take me a picture and send it to me.

And to think my boy's thought they wanted a cool picture phone!

Trust but VERIFY!

 

[Al]

quote:

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Originally posted by Pablo:
It's hard to take advice on fruit tree ranching from someone that has never raised fruit trees.

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Yea, typos own me.

And you know I have raised fruit trees.

 

[thooks]

quote:

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Originally posted by Pablo:
thooks - I had lots of warnings. You probably did warn me.

Are your kids completely banned from Myspace?

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I did warn you. I just reviewed our PM exchange. At that time, you came across to me as naive and with the attitude 'that you had it under control.'

BTW, it was in February, so it was short of 6 months ago.


Yes, my girls are banned from MySpace and any other trash-laden website that is blasted on a daily basis for being a KNOWN lure for foul-mouthed kids, kids who publish raunchy pictures of themselves, and where it is broadcast to a nationwide audience 2 or 3 nights a week that it is one of the most highly trafficked websites for child predators.

Sorry to come across as blunt, but you refused any of my advice back then, and insisted that it is pretty much impossible to have any sort of control over a young teenager in these times.


The reason why it APPEARS tough to have control over your kids IS THAT MOST PARENTS GIVE IN TO THEM AND REFUSE TO LAY DOWN THE LAW THE FIRST TIME.

 

[ScottB]

MySpace is not inherently bad.
I have adult friends that use it to promote their businesses.
My kids use it and I watch their pages.
It's like saying cars are bad or booze is bad - sure, you can do stupid things with both, but used properly, they're perfectly OK.
It's tough. raising kids is a real job. But in the end, you have to balance friendship with parenting, and it doesn't always feel good.

Scott (2/3 of the way to child-raising completion)

 

[thooks]

quote:

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Originally posted by ScottB:
MySpace is not inherently bad.
I have adult friends that use it to promote their businesses.
My kids use it and I watch their pages.
It's like saying cars are bad or booze is bad - sure, you can do stupid things with both, but used properly, they're perfectly OK.
It's tough. raising kids is a real job. But in the end, you have to balance friendship with parenting, and it doesn't always feel good.

Scott (2/3 of the way to child-raising completion)

---

You sound like Pablo did back in February.

 

[Steve128]

Always makes me feel better to kick someone when they are down and say I told you so. Guess I am just smarter than the rest.

 

[Zee1]

ekrampitzjr - You make some good points, different from what I would concur with but good points nonetheless.

By age 13 a kid should have a low level grip on personal safety and responsibility, I think Jean Piaget would agree.

I wonder how many of the 13 year olds that pull this would jump into a car with a stranger with a lollipop ? doesn't seem to be much difference to me, perhaps they just can't make that infinitesimally small connection. I would hope my son would be able to "figure it out", if not those are tough lessons to learn and apparently no one learned these lessons the easy way, that is life.

 

[Pablo]

First of all thooks - you are a genius. OK?
I can't remember exacly what you told me, nor can I save PM that long (box too full)
Your kids are perfect and will turn out perfect. I envy you.
I allow my daughter to try some real world things, within complete reason. We both learned.
Enough said.

You guys are just running away with this. (Running away at the keyboard mostly)

My daughter did nothing physically nasty. End THAT crap right here. Stop the PM's. NOW!

Not ALL of Myspace is trash - she was doing fine communicating with friends. She had a major judgment lapse. She knows that. She knows the kid who said he is 21, and is only 13 (His site was taken down). She knows she should not have put her cell # there (his and all her friends sites were only visible to those permitted). ALL were known in this circle. The 5 in my daughter's (old) myspace friends group outside our geographical area are 2 cousins, 1 girl who moved to CO, 1 who moved to England and 1 guy who moved to Texas. There where no old lechers in the group.

Sure she used foul language in a provocative nature. She knows it was not right.

 

[thooks]

Steve128, I am not kicking anyone while they are down. People simply won't take advice that is given to them. They always seem to know better. 'Least the Internet seems to be full of them.

Pablo,

I am not a genius and my kids aren't perfect.

I tried to help you, you were adamant that you had the situation fully under control.

I didn't say your daughter had done anything wrong, and I haven't PM'ed you about this matter since February.


And it appears you still think MySpace is worth defending.


Carry on.

 

[ScottB]

thooks

quote:

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Originally posted by thooks:

quote:

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Originally posted by ScottB:
MySpace is not inherently bad.
I have adult friends that use it to promote their businesses.
My kids use it and I watch their pages.
It's like saying cars are bad or booze is bad - sure, you can do stupid things with both, but used properly, they're perfectly OK.
It's tough. raising kids is a real job. But in the end, you have to balance friendship with parenting, and it doesn't always feel good.

Scott (2/3 of the way to child-raising completion)

---

You sound like Pablo did back in February.

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No, I sound like a clued-in Dad who gives his kids some trust to do the right thing.
Let's see, I have three kids, the oldest, 22, is in college and is running an office full-time while she goes to school. She's renting a nice house and just bought herself a new car. Great kid.
Daughter #2 is also in college, is an EMT, and works full-time in an ER while preparing for Paramedic school at UCLA.
Son is 13 and in honors. Plays bass, is already a computer whiz, and will spend four weeks this summer at computer programming school at UCLA and Art Center in Pasadena.

All good kids who have made mistakes like all normal people do.
All have their own computers and are incredibly fluent at using them.

I see you acting like a giant *ss and wonder just what makes you so smart?
Answer: Nothing. I'm light-years ahead of you my friend in child-rearing.

Scott

 

[ryansride2017]

Pablo,

First off, let me say that I have two kids (2 & 5) so I haven't encountered a problem such as your's yet. I've read your posts for years now and it seems like you have a good head on your shoulders. If I were you I would completely forget about myspace and focus on your daughter. There are so many sites similar to myspace that you can't possibly try to "fight" them all. Don't waste your time with trying to police those types of sites....it will be exhausting. The only "fight" you can control is your daughter's behavior. You cancelled that account but if she so chooses she could pick one of thousands to continue this behavior. As you already know, you must convince your daughter that this type of behavior is destructive without being the most possessive and controlling father ever....a tough task to say the least. By now I would imagine there is a support group somewhere for people that have been assaulted after contact using the internet. Maybe a visit to a rape crisis center. Most of the time a father talking to his daughter isn't enough to stop the behavior. She's needs to see and hear the horrible stories for herself. It might be troubling for you that she sees and hears these things, but it will do a world of good in the end. Good luck.