Need ideas - FIGHT Myspace.com!!

Pablo · Jul 9, 2006

I just terminated my daughter's MySpace account with this letter:

quote:

My daughter, xxxxxxxxx, is 13 years old and has no business on MySpace. I don't suppose you care that there are thousands of young people lying about their age on your site.

She has been exchanging verbally sexually graphic messages with boys who claim they are 21, 16, etc years old. Do you think this is OK?

She posted her cell phone # on the comments section of a "21 year old" guy! (I don't really think he is 21) That was the final straw:

http://www.myspace.com/cramyourd!ckinmy*** ("calvin")

"yo f#cka! wutsup! omg this has been the most boring summer ever! oh yah i didnt get ta give u my cell number but its 206-XXX-XXXX"

Please delete this message, immediately!!

I am considering some action against myspace.com. At the very least a public campaign.

Please - your site needs tighter control.

Sincerely,

Paul S@#$%^$#@@
Concerned parent

I know I shouldn't have written this in haste. But I was angry. The account in now gone. I also took her cell phone away. She showed terrible judgement by posting her phone # so publicly.

Is there a "myspace parents help group" or anything? This is so terrible. I'm not making solid decisions (or any sense) at this point. I need any good help. Please don't poke fun at my situation.

Thanks,

Paul

ToyotaNSaturn · Jul 9, 2006

MySpace is where anarchy rules, sadly. Standards simply don't exist there. I applaud you by taking the initiative to cancel her account and protect her!

Examples like this only make BITOG look so much better than most places on the net!

Brons2 · Jul 9, 2006

I have a myspace account, and use it to communicate with my friends, all who are over 25.

If it's not MySpace, then it will just be Xanga, Facebook, Friendster or something else.

Parents need to become more technically educated. They should be running some sort of net-nanny software that logs all website visits and all keystrokes.

MySpace is just a medium, an outlet.

It is my humble opinion that kids have too much freedom nowadays, and that public schools are a cesspool. Even the so called "good" ones.

Steve128 · Jul 9, 2006

I would like to help by just confirming your concerns and admiring your quick response. Daughters, sexually graphic messages,...

While at the same time realizing teenagers learn by making mistakes. Trust but VERIFY!

Your daughter has a loving father.

The Critic · Jul 9, 2006

Pablo,

First, calm down.

Second, did you cancel the account via the User CP? If so, you'll receive a confirmation e-mail in your daughter's account within 24 hrs. You MUST reply to the e-mail or else the account will NOT be deleted. More info here:

http://www1.myspace.com/misc/RemovingChildProfiles.html

Third, though I don't know of any parent Myspace support groups (you can always google), the next best thing is to report "suspicious" accounts of underaged myspace users. Those users who are found to be under 14 will have their accounts deleted if reported, and those under 18 who lie about their age may have their accounts deleted as well:

http://collect.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=misc.faq&faqQuestionId=29

So, if you want to do something, report known myspace users who lie about their age, and really shouldn't be on the site.

If you see inappropriate content, report it here:

http://collect.myspace.com/misc/faq.cfm?question=19

Best advice that I can offer you.

Good luck.

Shannow · Jul 9, 2006

Pablo...thanks, you've just added to my list of fears regarding raising my kids.

I hope that you get satisfaction.

Buford T. Justice · Jul 9, 2006

I'd have a sit down with your daughter and make her watch those Dateline NBC "To Catch A Predator" episodes. That should hopefully help the situation. There are a lot of sickies out there that like little kids.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/

There are more than MySpace. Kids have AOL and Yahoo profiles they put stuff they shouldn't on.

Pablo · Jul 9, 2006

I agree it's just a medium. But they advertise that they have controls. Of course my daughter is going through teenage rebellion, it would unusual if she weren't. She ONLY seems to learn by her mistakes - she certainly is not demonstrating that she is listening.

Yes kids have way too much freedom. She actually was somehow thinking Myspace is a "right", and she should have full freedom of speech and privacy. I succinctly let her know that she gave that up when she lied to get in. Furthermore we pay for her cell phone - so we have a pretty strong say where she should post her phone #! That, frankly was about most stupid immature thing I have seen her do.

As for the sexually graphic stuff - her and her girlfriends think it's some silly joke to use words, to be provocative - again super immature. Amazing what hormones will do - she has always been very mature - she is special - she is practically a genius in some areas but BAM 13 comes along and the wheels fall off! These kids have absolutely no idea how damaging to the soul this crap is. I don't care if you are any religion or atheist or agnostic - to not treat your body as a sacred temple, then you will suffer the damage of others.

Thanks for the link Buford. So far she knows all the kids she had as friends (100 or so!)

Mike - yes I did all the right things. Her site is gone. I am waiting to hear back from myspace.com on my letter. I reported those boys and girls lying about their age. My daughter said they are all 12-13-14 yo.

I have calmed down. Thanks.

drm7 · Jul 9, 2006

My wife's cousin is going through the same thing with her step daughter. Only she is like 11 or 12. They took her digital camera away as well. I have a 19 month old girl and I'm scared to death about what technology will be around when she is 13. I plan to never let her have a private computer. It will have to be in a common area where she will hopefully be limited to what she can do. I agree with you on damaging the soul thing. They are learning behaviours that will affect the rest of their life and need to learn early to respect themselves.

Live is very vulgar these days. It is not uncommon for an early 20-something to use the "f" word or "s" word in a customer service job now. I hear it all the time. I cursed terrible as a teenager but at least back then we turned it on and off and knew when not to use these words.

Pablo · Jul 9, 2006

Our computer is right in the open! We were even monitoring her and she knew it. And she still did that crap. I guess we are bad for even allowing her to have a myspace account in the first place! (all my friends do it....sorta true but I reported them too!!! hahahahahaha....)

The language is TERRIBLE. No boundaries anymore. I agree - In my day we could turn it off. These kids think it's cool to type it and then it sticks in their mushy skulls.

dima · Jul 9, 2006

Pablo, DO not panic. Firs of all get firewall with parental control, content filter and create rules for user accounts to block web-sites you do not want your kids to go to. Monitor
Internet traffic logs your kids generated weakly. The most paranoid way is to use key logger.
Good luck to you all. I still have at least 5 years to go before my daughter will start programming Internet.

rjundi · Jul 9, 2006

Anyone can lie or elaborate about their credentials on the internet to gain access. This is very difficult if impossible to control.

There will always be a way of a young child communicating but I guess the internet is so easy and conspicious to hide from a parent. When I was about the same age my cousin mainly got a bunch of people angry on the CB in my grandpa's truck and revealed our location. They stated they were going to come up and get us and scared we told our parents. I remember angry parents.

The best thing is nothing happened and your daughter is safe. Many, many, many parents are blinded or blind to their children's potentially dangerous actions. The best thing is that you are aware and can move forward. It was a large mistake on her part but hopefully a valuable learning experience for her and you.

I have no idea what parenting brings as I just have a very happy 6 month old daughter who is excited to situp, babble away and play with a plastic measuring cup.

GROUCHO MARX · Jul 9, 2006

Pablo, you understand that your daughter needs a father, not another "friend".

That's a big part of the battle.

Kestas · Jul 9, 2006

Pablo - first, congratulations for acting like a parent. You tested her responsibility... she flunked... now she's paying the consequenses. We've all been there.

All too often, this sometimes makes the kids even more sly if they insist on continuing their actions. It's a game of cat-and-mouse, and you'll now have to be even more vigilant.

moribundman · Jul 9, 2006

At least the kids are safe when they're at school eight hours a day.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. I forgot who said that.

Papa Bear · Jul 9, 2006

Do you think MySpace should/could monitor their site ?? Get real !!
Do you remember when you were 13 ??
If someone left a bottle of beer or a cigarette laying around, I was all over it.
I think that most 13 yr olds with a cell phone and access to myspace will abuse/misuse them. Geez, they are only 13 !! Might as well leave a loaded gun in the room and see what happens.
Good luck, Pabs... Keep a close eye on that girl.

XS650 · Jul 9, 2006

quote:

Originally posted by moribundman:
At least the kids are safe when they're at school eight hours a day.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. I forgot who said that.

Your father?

Children are natures way of getting even with you for what you did to your parents.

Spoiling grandchildren is your opportunity to get even with your children for what they did to you.

Pablo · Jul 9, 2006

PB - at least they should not let folks who claim 18+ mingle with those who claim they are 14 years old!!!

moribundman · Jul 9, 2006

If I understand this right, Pablo, those 12,13, 14 year old boys claim to be 18 or 20 or something like that. I'm not sure that's as much of as a concern as that there are likely even more 50 year old basement-dwelling scumbags, who pretend to be teens.

moribundman · Jul 9, 2006

quote:

Your father?

Come to think of it, his father said that.

Need ideas - FIGHT Myspace.com!!

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