I call my solution the "Air Gap Firewall". Guaranteed to block all objectionable content!
Need ideas - FIGHT Myspace.com!!
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The problem with the "Air Gap Firewall" solution is that it becomes the "Brain Gap" solution in the long run. You deny children the opportunity to make mistakes, learn decision making, develop integrity, and honesty, etc., etc.. When they grow up and enter the adult world, who will "cut the cable into little pieces" for them? Who needs more Enron types?
By cutting the cable into little pieces, you've demonstrated to the child that there ARE consequences for their actions. Abuse it and it gets taken away.
This is how my parents raised me. Oddly enough, the concept applies to the adult world, too.
(Probably, if this were my child, I'd ground her off the computer for about a month. I'd probably take the cell phone away, too).
This is how my parents raised me. Oddly enough, the concept applies to the adult world, too.
(Probably, if this were my child, I'd ground her off the computer for about a month. I'd probably take the cell phone away, too).
I see the AGF as a temporary situation.
I would tell my daughter something like this:
Dear Daughter you were placed in a situation of trust and you abused the trust. So we must make sure you are not in the same position again until you demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness.
So your computer will no longer have internet access until your mother and I agree that you have earned that trust back.
We will be watching to see how you respond to this, what behaviors you change, your attitudes, etc. We believe you are able to behave in a manner that is consistent with how we've raised you.
If you have any questions feel free to ask us. As long as you live in this home, you are subject to our rules and are subject to us verifying that you are behaving in a responsible manner.
We love you. Rules exist, not to make you miserable, but to protect you from the consequences of a bad decision. Please believe me when I tell you that our consequences are far more livable than others that may happen if your behavior continued.
I would tell my daughter something like this:
Dear Daughter you were placed in a situation of trust and you abused the trust. So we must make sure you are not in the same position again until you demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness.
So your computer will no longer have internet access until your mother and I agree that you have earned that trust back.
We will be watching to see how you respond to this, what behaviors you change, your attitudes, etc. We believe you are able to behave in a manner that is consistent with how we've raised you.
If you have any questions feel free to ask us. As long as you live in this home, you are subject to our rules and are subject to us verifying that you are behaving in a responsible manner.
We love you. Rules exist, not to make you miserable, but to protect you from the consequences of a bad decision. Please believe me when I tell you that our consequences are far more livable than others that may happen if your behavior continued.
why blame myspace for failing to parent your child ?
if you buy a knife and cut yourself making a sandwich do you blame the knifemaker? I see far too much of this out there, then people wonder why their children sling dope and do porn.
this is an edit, as the above sounds pretty rough.
My cousin is 13 and she has a myspace acct, her mother has the password and logs into it once a week to check on it, thats the rules she has to go by to have a myspace acct. Also the profile is private, so you have to know her or be added to see her profile. Her city and state are listed differently than her real location.
also if you want to be added you have to know some of her personal info or something, like first and last name or birthdate or whatever her mom set that crap up, keeping a close eye on your kid is the best way to ensure they have SOME freedom, and also some level of supervision and safety.
if you buy a knife and cut yourself making a sandwich do you blame the knifemaker? I see far too much of this out there, then people wonder why their children sling dope and do porn.
this is an edit, as the above sounds pretty rough.
My cousin is 13 and she has a myspace acct, her mother has the password and logs into it once a week to check on it, thats the rules she has to go by to have a myspace acct. Also the profile is private, so you have to know her or be added to see her profile. Her city and state are listed differently than her real location.
also if you want to be added you have to know some of her personal info or something, like first and last name or birthdate or whatever her mom set that crap up, keeping a close eye on your kid is the best way to ensure they have SOME freedom, and also some level of supervision and safety.
I am not blaming myspace for failing to parent my child. I am blaming them for allowing 13 year olds and 21 year olds to mix when they say it doesn't happen.
Zee1 - how old are your kids?
Zee1 - how old are your kids?
my kid is 8 weeks old, I also raise 2 nieces - 4 and 5 months, also a brother who is 14.
myspace lies, I think if you list your age as being under 18 it makes your profile private automatically, so your daughter lied to get around it.
maybe do what my aunt did, know her password and tell her that you can and will check it at anytime.... that alone is enough to keep her straight
myspace can't personally police all 34 million users, what can they do - require you scan your state ID and send it to them for age verification?
myspace lies, I think if you list your age as being under 18 it makes your profile private automatically, so your daughter lied to get around it.
maybe do what my aunt did, know her password and tell her that you can and will check it at anytime.... that alone is enough to keep her straight
myspace can't personally police all 34 million users, what can they do - require you scan your state ID and send it to them for age verification?
I know people will lie. My daughter did - as did all her friends, her cousin, etc....and let me tell you their parents have no idea.
I did know my daughter's password (how did you think I got in to her and her friend's sites?), and she even knew we checked!! But maybe she didn't think I would check little comments left on her listed "friends" pages.
I guess you are correct as far as policing it. People will lie no matter what. Maybe require a signed, notorized form mailed in. Stating name with birth certificate verified age.
I did know my daughter's password (how did you think I got in to her and her friend's sites?), and she even knew we checked!! But maybe she didn't think I would check little comments left on her listed "friends" pages.
I guess you are correct as far as policing it. People will lie no matter what. Maybe require a signed, notorized form mailed in. Stating name with birth certificate verified age.
A 13 year old's brain isn't wired to internalize the concept of consequences. That takes time. In the mean time, it sounds like you are helping the process of her understanding of consequences along.
Tough situation all around.
you want to protect her, but at the same time too much can have a devastatingly paradoxical effect.
sounds like you took all the right steps, all you can do is stay vigilant, maybe tell her exacly WHY she has been removed from myspace and how that lack of consideration for her own safety can evidence itself in her other favorite activities.
Give her a couple of weeks to think that over and maybe try it again, can't really blame myspace, people lie and people will manipulate the rules and filters to accomplish their goals.
you want to protect her, but at the same time too much can have a devastatingly paradoxical effect.
sounds like you took all the right steps, all you can do is stay vigilant, maybe tell her exacly WHY she has been removed from myspace and how that lack of consideration for her own safety can evidence itself in her other favorite activities.
Give her a couple of weeks to think that over and maybe try it again, can't really blame myspace, people lie and people will manipulate the rules and filters to accomplish their goals.
Hope you cleared that first.
When she finds out you posted that on BITOG, she will cancel your membership here.
P.B.
When she finds out you posted that on BITOG, she will cancel your membership here.
P.B.
oh crap....oops...
It's hereditary.quote:
Originally posted by moribundman:
Come to think of it, his father said that.
So's insanity, you get it from your children.
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Well, if insanity is the price for having children, then maybe you better have your children while very young, so that your parents can raise the fartlings.
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"Do you know where your kids are? Do you know where your credit cards are?"
The solution for this problem is very simple.
1)Look at the back of the computer being used to access the Myspace.com website.
2)Find a cable that looks like a telephone cord.
3)Remove this cable from the computer end, and from the device in which it is connected (either a wall jack or a dsl/cable modem).
4)Cut the cable into little pieces and place them in the trash.
5)Problem solved.
1)Look at the back of the computer being used to access the Myspace.com website.
2)Find a cable that looks like a telephone cord.
3)Remove this cable from the computer end, and from the device in which it is connected (either a wall jack or a dsl/cable modem).
4)Cut the cable into little pieces and place them in the trash.
5)Problem solved.
I'm glad my are grown. I know 13 is ablut the time where he11 breaks lose. Itgs tough. I think very parents that have kids realize the total breadth of the "challenges" Good luck Pabs. Hang in there. I think I would be looking at the best filters on the planet.
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