My wife is killing me with School decisions..

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone
$16 bucks an hour to answer phones, a toddler at home, another on the way and a husband making a decent living. Whats the problem?!

i'll answer the phone for 16/hr. If she's only 3 weeks in you can get a percentage of the money back. Probably about half by now.

nope , you have 4 days at that school to back out.. then your hooked.. no percentage back.. im on the line now for the full amount.

 

[freezing1]

Be thankful your wife wants to do better. Knowing HOW to accomplish that is a real trick for most folks.

You live near enough educational institutions that she can find access to a personal career assessment of some kind. These types of services are prolific in post-secondary schools to help people decide how their personal skills and aspirations match up with the job market.

Yes $1200 gone sucks. No sugar coating that part.

 

[OtisBlkR1]

yeah i know, she changed her major twice years ago.. thats why it took her four years to get a two year degree.. Its kinda funny they called her into the office and told her she was maxed out on credits and they were going to force her to graduate..

Wish my wife was going into the med field.. oh well.

 

[daves87rs]

With a second child, I expect a break anyways...2 is much tougher than raising one...

 

[The Critic]

Originally Posted By: Loobed
Bad News: Business degrees are a dime a dozen, and so are computer degrees.

I suggest a vocational program. See if there is one in your area.

The demand for software engineers is also quite significant...

 

[asiancivicmaniac]

I think her first mistake was doing it online. Having a scheduled class would probably make it easier to become committed to it than doing it one her own time. Not to mention there's the professor there to direct the course and answer questions.

And it doesn't look as good to have an online degree. Better to do it on campus even if there's an equivalent online course. That's the advice given by most college advisors I've encountered.

If it took her 4 years to finish an associates degree then maybe college isn't her thing?

She probably needs to be real honest with herself and ask what really drives her. Even if she ends up completing a degree and making more money in something she has no passion for then she'd probably just be unhappy again down the road. Ask her to look past the money aspect and think of what she would really like to do. I'm sure people will disagree with me but I'm one of those who believe that if you're doing what you're happy doing and doing it well then the money will come.

 

[expat]

Money well spent.
You can throw 'that money wasted' back at her every time you have an argument for years to come

 

[The Critic]

http://www.bobistheoilguy.com/forums/ubb...044#Post2599044

 

[eljefino]

What's the cost of living in indiana? Get a nice house for $150k? $16/hr for a PT job where she can presumably take time off for a sick kid or whatever is a coup. I'm "stuck" in a wierd shift in a boring job while my kids grow up until they're old enough to watch themselves. No biggie. That's why they have to pay people to go to work.

The only flaw was her lack of honesty with herself and you about her tenacity for this class. But, something was learned for $1200. Move on.

 

[bigmike]

Originally Posted By: OtisBlkR1
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
I find it rather odd that you don't seem to factor in the idea that you have a second child coming.

What are your plans regarding this?


im not sure i understand the question, I make enuff money and then some to support my family without my wife working.. My wifes only reason for going back to school is she doesnt like her current job (wants to do more with herself) and she wants to contribute more to the familys $.. i respect both of her reasons, I do not however respect throwing away money..

and for the record i asked my wife if a toddler and a new baby and work and school would be to much on her and she insisted she could handle the load... I brought this to her attention before anything else.


Then let it go. You make enough money to cover the bad decisions she made. Don't focus your attention on it! SHE has to learn this on her own and come to the conclusions you already came to. If you push it, she'll blame you and resentment will settle in.

I went through something similar with my wife about schooling. I had to bite my tongue a great many of times. I waited it out and she finally broke down one night and asked forgiveness, focused her energies, and will finish school next term with a 4 year degree and 2 minors. We did this on less than half of your salary and it was really tough!

 

[doitmyself]

Quote:
I find it rather odd that you don't seem to factor in the idea that you have a second child coming.


Call me old fashioned.....o.k., I am old fashioned!

I am old enough that my mom stayed at home during our pre school years. My wife also was lucky to do this, and then go to work later.

I am amazed at what modern families do and it usually works when the father also participates in all the home duties such as child rearing, house chores, cooking, etc..

I guess that my comment was a reflection on the idea that in today's world, raising young children seems to take second fiddle (maybe equal fiddle?) to careers, having nice things (home, car, etc.), social life, and what not. Maybe second fiddle is the wrong term, but child rearing definitely is not a top priority for many parents today. My wife did daycare and I saw it.

I applaud families that can do this, but I see a lot of disfunctional ones too. I understand that in today's economy most situations require both spouses to work to make ends meet.

You're problem is one that many would "like to have".....your income is enough to allow your wife to work or not, or spend money on deciding what to do.

Please, no offense is intended in my remarks. My values are of a different generation (even before mine) and I accept today's ways also. I just question if putting child rearing into a lesser priority will catch up with us someday. I respect and salute those that juggle all of this successfully.

Again, I just found it odd that with a second child coming, there was no discussion on your part about how that was going to work into your schedule.

 

[Loobed]

Originally Posted By: The Critic
Originally Posted By: Loobed
Bad News: Business degrees are a dime a dozen, and so are computer degrees.

I suggest a vocational program. See if there is one in your area.

The demand for software engineers is also quite significant...

A software engineering degree is different than just getting a computer degree. Software engineers have to take the full calculus gauntlet and discrete math. They also have to take Physics.

 

[Kestas]

I thought most software engineering was offshored.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

Originally Posted By: Kestas
I thought most software engineering was offshored.


A good portion of it is ...

 

[Cutehumor]

if your wife works at a hospital answering phones, I bet they pay for her tuition is she does something in medical field. radiology tech, pharm tech, even nurse. so all the risk is on the hospital.

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
if your wife works at a hospital answering phones, I bet they pay for her tuition is she does something in medical field. radiology tech, pharm tech, even nurse. so all the risk is on the hospital.


No sir, they used to pay some or all depending on the field.. that was then, the Hospital no longer offers this..

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: doitmyself
Quote:
I find it rather odd that you don't seem to factor in the idea that you have a second child coming.


Call me old fashioned.....o.k., I am old fashioned!

I am old enough that my mom stayed at home during our pre school years. My wife also was lucky to do this, and then go to work later.

I am amazed at what modern families do and it usually works when the father also participates in all the home duties such as child rearing, house chores, cooking, etc..

I guess that my comment was a reflection on the idea that in today's world, raising young children seems to take second fiddle (maybe equal fiddle?) to careers, having nice things (home, car, etc.), social life, and what not. Maybe second fiddle is the wrong term, but child rearing definitely is not a top priority for many parents today. My wife did daycare and I saw it.

I applaud families that can do this, but I see a lot of disfunctional ones too. I understand that in today's economy most situations require both spouses to work to make ends meet.

You're problem is one that many would "like to have".....your income is enough to allow your wife to work or not, or spend money on deciding what to do.

Please, no offense is intended in my remarks. My values are of a different generation (even before mine) and I accept today's ways also. I just question if putting child rearing into a lesser priority will catch up with us someday. I respect and salute those that juggle all of this successfully.

Again, I just found it odd that with a second child coming, there was no discussion on your part about how that was going to work into your schedule.


I have offered and suggested my wife stay home and raise our children.. She completely 100% refuses this.. she wants to work, she wants to get out of the house.

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: The Critic
http://www.bobistheoilguy.com/forums/ubb...044#Post2599044


Yes sir ? this is a completely unlrelated topic.. that was in regards to parenting styles and arguements that follow.. Im not exactly sure why you posted this ?.. For the record this is twice ive posted in (off topic forum) in regards to personal matters that i thought maybee other men on this site might be able to give me subjective opinions on.. believe me everyones opinions help.. and its cheaper than therapy.

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: daves87rs
With a second child, I expect a break anyways...2 is much tougher than raising one...


LMAO. if you were around my toddler for one day you might find a exception to that.. Lord help me the second one is not as difficult as the first one has been.. and if the second one is.. maybee they can distract one another

 

[Bladecutter]

Originally Posted By: OtisBlkR1
I have offered and suggested my wife stay home and raise our children.. She completely 100% refuses this.. she wants to work, she wants to get out of the house.


All I can say is that things aren't going to end well.

Being a wife is hard.
Being an employee at a job you don't like is hard.
Being a mother is hard.
Going to school is hard.
Being pregnant is hard.

Trying to do all of those things at the same time certainly isn't any easier than doing 1, 2, or 3 of the things all at the same time.

Some people aren't happy in life unless they bite off way more than they can possibly handle at once, just because if they don't, they worry that it might not be available later, when they can handle that part of it.

I can truly understand her having a job, and hating it thoroughly. I suffered through a job for 3 years until this past February when I got back into my previous career once again. Life is so much better.

What I have learned over the years is, depending on the career, having a degree either is really, really important, or not really important at all. Sometimes having a degree in something is more important than having a degree in exactly that business model.

Have her try and apply for the job she really wants right from now, and if she gets an interview, have her tell them she's "currently" taking classes on the subject, so she will be more effective in the new job as she gains experience from two different sources (on the job and school). I guarantee that will impress the HR recruiter just as much as already having the degree in hand, depending on the career.

I enjoy my job, and make a decent salary, but most importantly, I LOVE the company, my coworkers, and the environment here at work. I get to problem solve, and my degree status wasn't the most important aspect of my resume and interview. Knowing what I was talking about, having the previous job experiences that I did, and knowing exactly the right people to get you to the interview was way more important.

BC.