My wife is killing me with School decisions..

[OtisBlkR1]

Im venting here more than anything (off topic section) but im steaming and just need to get this out.

My wife has had some "bad" school decision since we started dating back in 03 she went to a local community colledge for close to 4 years to get a 2 year degree in "Early childhood education" This is a degree that qualifies my wife to be a slightly higher paid day care operator, or a sub-teacher. Unless we open our own daycare (not a good option) its basically a worthless degree.. My wife currently works at a hospital awnsering the telephone for $16.xx a hour.. and she hates it with a passion... I supported my wfe through colledge the first time without question.. basically untill they kicked her out for having to many credits..

With that said she's been talking about going back to school for years now for a better degree to make better money of course.. Ive told her all along that i will support her decision to go back to school as long as she goes back to do something that will benifit our family financialy.. No more B.S. degrees..

My wife tells me 3 months ago she's decided to go back to school for computer somether or another.. we have a 2.75 year old at home awith another baby on the way (been together for 10 years now, married for 5 fyi) so she's going to go back to school, so online classes is her solution to being a wife/mom/and a 32 hr a week worker herself.. I agree and sign us up for home internet service.. she signs up for classes.. things are looking good..

THEN.....

At first she's online doing her thing, all is well.. then after about three weeks i dont see her on the computer anymore.. I ask and she complains about the content of the classes not matching the content of the testing and she's having trouble.. I suggest talking to a counselor..

two weeks later i ask again (not trying to pry to much) and she tells me she's dropped the classes and she's going to wait till spring and do some buisness classes.. i grit my teeth as i already know that the money ive invested so far is now gone.. wasted.. UGG..

Now the kicker..

Even though she's dropped the classes and no longer attending online, WERE still paying $200 a month to cover her courses !!

Im turning red, i will be out easily over $1,200 in course classes my wifes not even taking ! I make to much money so its 100% on my shoulders.. well our shoulders.. I make i good chunk more than my wife does..

Q: Do i have a legit complaint here.. I buy toys, Guns, etc.etc.. i easily spend several thousand a year on just "stuff".. were not hurting for money as in check to check.. but were not independantely wealthy either..

Q: How do i approach the topic when it comes back up again this spring ? "Honey im tired of you wasting our money on school that you never finish or take flop classes a beagle can pass" ??

Hows about it you other married gus out there.. whats your take ? Im just so steamed that moneys slipping through our fingers for this..

 

[chiks]

Delicate situation my friend.

 

[cmorr]

There is an old joke that the reason adults ask kids what they want to be when they grow-up is because they themselves are looking for ideas

Not suggesting she is a kid, she is struggling like anyone else.

I would suggest that she seeks out a career counselor to help her identify a path that will use her transferable skills/experience towards a career that she can embrace and has positions available in your area.

I think an independent assessment will offer her the reassurance she needs but framed in a realistic menu.

 

[Mr Nice]

Proceed with caution.

 

[david_ES2]

I dont blame you, id be real upset too, id take it as a $1,200 or however much lesson learned.

 

[chiks]

she needs a buddy who can work with her.

 

[Lead Shoes]

Lol Stop!!!! This is like a hand grenade with a piece of straw as the pin, one wrong move and you are totally screwed...

Questioning any woman's spending will get ugly fast, good luck.

 

[sciphi]

Her complaint is hardly unique. I was ambushed many times throughout my college career. My wife's complaining about the same thing now that she's back in school again for the degree that displaced her current degree. I'm telling her to suck it up and deal with it in a nice way, which to her credit she is.

Are there any accredited, "traditional" 4-year schools nearby your wife could go to? Those are typically much better about offering support since they want your "alumni association" dollars after graduation, and making themselves look good in advertising. It'll also get her more involved, since there are others in the same program that'll be in the same boat she's in, and can offer support. My wife has a good support network in place at her school, which is helping her get through a difficult stretch in school.

I'd say you do have a valid complaint since your wife essentially tossed $1200 out the window with nothing to show for it. If I did that or my wife did that, the other would be livid, and the guilty party making up the difference as they could.

Hope you and she manage to work things out, and that she finds a job that makes her happy while paying the bills.

 

[Loobed]

$200 a month? In California, if you are a resident, classes cost $46 per unit. Most classes are 3 units. Chemistry, Physics, Calculus, and Language courses are 5 units.

A lot of college people think that all they need to get a job is a piece of paper (degree): It isn't all they need.

There use to be a test where you put in your likes and dislikes and your strengths and weaknesses. The test would then match you with a job that matches your personality and abilities.

Bad News: Business degrees are a dime a dozen, and so are computer degrees.

I suggest a vocational program. See if there is one in your area.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

A lot of people are under the impression that a college degree is going to guarantee them a job. If she makes $16 and you make around that ... you and her can live a pretty good life with your children. I think the solution is to stop throwing money at it.

Which online school?

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: Miller88
A lot of people are under the impression that a college degree is going to guarantee them a job. If she makes $16 and you make around that ... you and her can live a pretty good life with your children. I think the solution is to stop throwing money at it.

Which online school?


I make more than that (Combined we easily clear 100k).. and we live fairly comfortable now.., we can live fairly comfortable on just my salary.. She just wants to make more money so she feels like she contributes as much to the family as i do.. and she hates her job (even though the pay is not bad for our area) she's smart enuff to know im not going to be happy if she gives up what she's making now to go make $8 a hour doing something else.. we have kids and are a family and are accustomed to what we have and what were making now.. I know she has the familys best at heart.. but her decisions are costing us money.. $1,200 buys a lot of diapers for the new baby on the way.

she was signed up taking online classes at Ivy Tech community colledge..

we have 5 schools within 10 miles..

Rose Hulman
ISU
Saint mary of the woods
Indiana Buisness
and Ivy Tech.

Yes, we live in a college town. Most people come here to get there education and then go somewhere else..

 

[Rock_Hudstone]

$16 bucks an hour to answer phones, a toddler at home, another on the way and a husband making a decent living. Whats the problem?!

 

[02z]

I let my wife know up front that I would support her making a decision and following through with it...I would not support her deciding to do something and quitting or getting "tired" of it.
She took one class and decided going back to school wasn't for her. She's still doing what she was doing, dental hygiene and doing very well financially I may add.

 

[doitmyself]

I find it rather odd that you don't seem to factor in the idea that you have a second child coming.

What are your plans regarding this?

 

[Gabe]

Don't be to hard on her; school is tough especially as an adult.

You should be pleased that she is willing (and able) to work evenings to help better your family. She sounds like a keeper to me.

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone
$16 bucks an hour to answer phones, a toddler at home, another on the way and a husband making a decent living. Whats the problem?!

there is no problem in my eyes, she wants to make more.. thus school..

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: doitmyself
I find it rather odd that you don't seem to factor in the idea that you have a second child coming.

What are your plans regarding this?


im not sure i understand the question, I make enuff money and then some to support my family without my wife working.. My wifes only reason for going back to school is she doesnt like her current job (wants to do more with herself) and she wants to contribute more to the familys $.. i respect both of her reasons, I do not however respect throwing away money..

and for the record i asked my wife if a toddler and a new baby and work and school would be to much on her and she insisted she could handle the load... I brought this to her attention before anything else.

 

[The motor guy]

Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone
$16 bucks an hour to answer phones, a toddler at home, another on the way and a husband making a decent living. Whats the problem?!

i'll answer the phone for 16/hr. If she's only 3 weeks in you can get a percentage of the money back. Probably about half by now.

 

[tomcat27]

if it helps, you are not alone. my wife decided to change careers and go into something medical - radiology. 2 years into it.... well, I think you know the next part.....

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Originally Posted By: Gabe
Don't be to hard on her; school is tough especially as an adult.

You should be pleased that she is willing (and able) to work evenings to help better your family. She sounds like a keeper to me.

she is deffinately a keeper, im just very particular about wasted money.. and thats a good chunk of wasted moeny.. I dont love her any less, id just prefer to keep those dollars we earn in the bank if she;s not even taking classes now.. just burns my backside thinking about paying for something were not getting.. like paying interest on a credit card.. i never do that never will, its just giving away your money.. wheeew