I am getting divorce

[fdcg27]

We are on year 48 and about to hit 49. At times I do not think I can make another 48 minutes! Then I calm down and think about really how good it has been.

This is the key and I'm sure your wife feels exactly the same sometimes.
Marriage is very much a give and take thing and does require the commitment of both partners.
No marriage is sunshine and lollypops all the time.

 

[2005jettatdi]

From the movie How To Murder Your Wife:

Judge Blackstone:
Not at all, my boy, not at all. Been married 38 years myself. (pause)

And I don't regret one day of it. (pause)

The one day I don't regret was... August 2, 1936. (pause)

She was off visiting her ailing mother at the time.

 

[fat biker]

Sorry to hear of your divorce.
Dating? I expect you still need to grieve the end of the marriage. I would go slow. (I have never divorced)
Impact on kids? Your kids are impacted, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. Talk to your kids. Your kids may benefit from professional help.

Best of Luck

 

[PandaBear]

Hey @PandaBear - I don't mean to pry, but two years posting this - how are you doing?

How are the kids doing?

Thanks for asking.

I'm doing well. Finally I think I have let go of my grudges. I am starting to think that whatever happened is pretty much due to her personality and eventually no matter who she's with, what happen to her in life, she will always be unsatisfied and ends up where she is unless she is willing to give up control of everyone around her. As for me, I wouldn't say I don't have problem, and I might also have similar grudges no matter who I ended up marrying had I married another person instead. For now, I do think that my current situation is as close to ideal as possible as a single person with my kids around. It could be way worse compare to many typical marriage or divorce out there.

The legal process is still complicated but overall other than financial aspect of things we are in agreement on how to raise our kids together. Still in the same household but we live like roommate now. She doesn't bother me and I don't bother her. No drama, no demand, no telling each other what to do, no raising voices, and boundaries are well kept. She will pay for half of everything instead of me paying for most of what she wants. I say no a lot now and she knows what she wants she has to pay herself.

Kids haven't found out yet, nor our parents. Life is free and she took the kids on vacation quite often on her dime. She tried to butt in to my vacation with the kids but she stays in different hotel room (sometimes even a different hotel). To the kids, they basically understand that mom is always doing her own things and leave the house all of a sudden and come back way after they went to bed, and are used to it. They just though mom is a workaholic but she was actually just splitting time between us and her own private life elsewhere. We are not forced to go where she want and stay where she want and do activities she want, we can pick what we want to do, and I always pick what my daughters want to do every time.

The only thing that annoys me right now is she keep taking my car when she supposed to drive her own. Often times I have the urge to sell what I have and buy a stick shift minivan just to give her the middle finger, but that would be a problem for myself in traffic and fuel economy as well (I have a Prius).

Financially I am doing very well, we both got lucky with the tech boom of the last decade and financially, now that we are separated, I really couldn't find a way I can spend that much money other than a few bad habit I have budget myself for about $10k a year. A forced vacation every 6 month in the past would have easily cost more than that alone. No alimony, no child support, no longer need to help out ex-wife's parents financially, I actually come out way ahead surprisingly.

I don't see a reason to be married again.