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Jun 22, 2004
Central Iowa
With all the flap about hunting lately I thought it prudent to post this information for the benefit of all here. 1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys at any time during the year. However tax attorneys may only be taken after April 15th. 2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. 3. Striking attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "open bar" for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Cadillac or Jaguar dealerships. 7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, currency, or staged vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. 9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. 10. Harvested attorneys must have a state health department inspection for distemper and rabies prior to being stuffed or mounted. 11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as an accident victim, young law clerk, intern, drug dealer, bookie, or sheep for the purpose of attracting and hunting attorneys.
I've been an attorney for so long that I graduated from law school in 1968. Frankly, if I had it to do over again I'd never go to law school. I'm so sick and tired of the neverending attacks on attorneys. After wondering for decades why people hate attorneys so much, I came to the conclusion 10 or 15 years ago that the primary reason is that attorneys make people follow the law, and most people don't want to follow the law (they won't admit this of course, but they don't), although they of course want everyone else to follow the law. The law is what keeps everyone in check. Without it, we'd be in the state of nature that existed before we had governments and laws, a state in which it was all on one and one against all. Of course there's other reasons for the attorney hating. One is that for every winner in a legal dispute there's a loser. And of course the losers, losers that they often are in more ways than one, ***** about the attorneys. And with all the legal actions and other legal disputes raised by people in this country (and remember, attorneys don't sue anyone, their clients do -- it like guns -- guns don't kill people, people kill people), there's a lot of losers out there.
"...the primary reason is that attorneys make people follow the law" What attorney and where does that that actually take place? They may be a necessary evil, but that doesn't change the evil part. Don, CPA
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