Don't like your daughters friends

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Good for them. They're expressing themselves and having fun without hurting anything or anyone. I'm the legal guardian of my 17 year old sister and am raising her. They sound like her friends.

I have good hope for this generation. I'm sick of old fogey's shaking their fist at the world, thinking things should be like the old days and never progress. Thank god it isn't.
 
Good for them. They're expressing themselves and having fun without hurting anything or anyone. I'm the legal guardian of my 17 year old sister and am raising her. They sound like her friends.

I have good hope for this generation. I'm sick of old fogey's shaking their fist at the world, thinking things should be like the old days and never progress. Thank god it isn't.
I can't agree with you more and I was born in 50's.
OP sound like someone who will complain about anything no matter what the circumstance.
 
Some of the people I went to high school with way back in the late 90s ( I graduated in 2001) still suprise me. A couple I've been long term friends with since. The class valedictorian I think became a hippie and a couple that were drug addicts I'm fairly sure straighten out and went on to have families. Go figure
 
...OP sound like someone who will complain about anything no matter what the circumstance.
I didn't take it that way. I thought the OP was kind of asking for advice since this may be another new experience for him.

A parent is one who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother; a parent is usually legally responsible for the actions of a child until about 18 years of age in most states.

A parent cannot necessarily be a "friend" at all times, but has the responsibility to guide their children and therefore has the right to set bounds, including the right to determine the people with which they associate.

Communicating with your children is an important first step in parenting teenagers.
 
I grew up in a very good home with both parents and 4 siblings. My younger sister being 6'2" got a full basketball scholarship. Her intention was to become a nurse and she was/is very smart. She was injured playing and fed pain pills like candy. This was in 2005 before Heroin use blew up.
She ended up becoming a heroin addict and got in trouble with the law. Luckily she is now a productive adult and I personally take her for her monthly Vivitrol shot. She also got her record expunged.

Is this my parents fault? I think not. Is this my sisters fault? I think not. What about the team DR that gave her pills like candy and her coach that told her to soldier on? What about the drug company?
 
Are they achievers?

Do they know they have to work for things in life?

Or are they lazy asses?
I was thinking along these lines. An idle brain is the devil’s playground….

There is a balance of pulling kids in too tight, at which point they rebel, or being too loose at which point they have other influences.

What scares me is the influence that some of the parents these days are on their kids. Be it their language, politics, work ethic, social behaviors, what is given to them from affluent parents, etc.

Im not looking forward to how much worse the world might be when my kids get to this age.

. My point is if you have taught your daughter values, they will use them now more than ever as they try to shape their present and future.

The issue is, what values? Church values? Modern social outlooks?

I have seen plenty of peers go drastically different directions from their parents/family. Did they have bad or uncaring families? No. Did the values not stick? Seems so. Why??? Some overwhelming factor… a greater influence socially or politically I guess? Doing what feels good?

I do think it comes back to instilling in kids to be kind, safe and respectful, and that the family structure of loving, serving, mature adults is the best approach. And making dumb decisions affects the ability to achieve that.
 
I grew up in a very good home with both parents and 4 siblings. My younger sister being 6'2" got a full basketball scholarship. Her intention was to become a nurse and she was/is very smart. She was injured playing and fed pain pills like candy. This was in 2005 before Heroin use blew up.
She ended up becoming a heroin addict and got in trouble with the law. Luckily she is now a productive adult and I personally take her for her monthly Vivitrol shot. She also got her record expunged.

Is this my parents fault? I think not. Is this my sisters fault? I think not. What about the team DR that gave her pills like candy and her coach that told her to soldier on? What about the drug company?

Not poking you or your family, but since you put the example out there… I think all of the above share some guilt. Popping pills is no good, but it’s not like in 2005 we had no clue about the effects.

But again not bringing this up to poke. Instead to praise. Things happen. Bad scenarios hit the best, most well intentioned folks for a world of reasons… What gets success imo is family structure. Ideally happily married parents, family history of successful marriages, caring parents and siblings. The fact that you take your sister for shots shows a family commitment that is part of a recipe for success. Family units spreading all over the place, reduced family support, etc. makes for challenging situations. More involvement means more chance of success. Good for you to keep after your sister and help her like that.
 
Put limits on it. When our kids were in HS, we never let them drive with their friends. We allowed them to drive with a limit of 3 in the car. I feel for 'ya. Goood luck.
Good idea but reality of what they do and tell you differs. It is actually state law for under 18 can only have one friend in my state and others none for 6 months at least. Also a 1-4 am curfew on driving thankfully so drunks hopefully hit trees and kill themselves not teens .
 
Yeah, I found myself always walking a tightrope when my kids were that age. Whatever, try not to sweat over the small stuff and be reasonable, its a tough age, set boundaries and stick to them, at the same time, don't make something out of nothing, if nothing is there.
Nature says kids have to assert their independence, its biological try to be reasonable but don't give away the house. Kids do want some caring structure.
Im proud of the way my kids turned out and I had some challenges in those teen years with them. It worked out well.
 
My daughter shared a college apartment with the Funk Twins. Sounded creepy, but they were all honor students and no issues arose.
 
Glad I have boys.. My oldest son friends seems eerily similar to my friends 20+ years ago. Youngest doesn't seem to have alot of friends.. eerily similar to his dad 20+ years ago lol. As far as I know most of us turned out ok and they're not chasing the girls yet so maybe they'll be ok also.
 
From personal experience, there is no way you can keep your daughter from interacting with those individuals if she so desires. My first girl friend's mother was so intent in keeping us from dating that she pestered the local draft board for my induction. I received a 1 classification and was told I would receive my notice in about six weeks. Never happened. I think her hounding the draft board led to me not being inducted. Didn't really matter as nothing ever came of the relationship.
 
My approach to parenting and advice to other parents is to talk to your kids. Tell them what you feel is right and what is wrong. Instill your values. I assure you this-

1. They will listen to you.
2. If you don't, someone else will.

They will listen, whether it looks like they are or not. Tell them repeatedly. At least they've heard what you want them to hear. That might cause the little voice in their head to talk to them at 12:20 AM when they are about to do something stupid.

You don't have to demand they do anything if you don't want. But what you should do is TEACH them lessons about life. About money. About right and wrong.

College isn't going to. And I think the above has been missing for the most part in the last 30 years.
 
When I was in high school, my parents were somewhat concerned about the long haired heavy metal headbangers I hung around with.
Here is what they didn't really know:
We didn't hang out at Perkins like all the other kids because there were too many smokers there. (It was the '80s)
One of us graduated from HS early, on the honor roll.
Our main activity was bowling, and several of those guys were on the HS bowling team.
We all sort of went our separate ways in college, but we keep up on social media. One of us is a police officer. I am a Cubmaster and an asst. Scoutmaster. Another is a CPA. Most of our children are high achievers.
Teenagers need to hang with lots of different types of people to figure out who they are. As long as you are a positive role model and instill good values, I think you don't have too much to worry about.
 
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