Don't like your daughters friends

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I suspect if you keep the communication open it will all work out. You can't choose the friends for your kids anyway.
True, but you can control their environment to some extent. Our kids never got to spend much time with kids who's parents we didn't know and trust. Private school helps I'm that regard a lot.
 

Astro14

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This. My kids will be outright banned from any form of social media until they're 18. Once they're out of my house, they can do what they want. But in my house, I will not let the literal physical structure and chemical makeup of their brains be tampered with by Zuckerberg's algorithm. It's a HARD no in my future home with kids. Social media has destroyed this world.
Maybe wait until you actually have kids before making those kind of absolute pronouncements?
 
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Maybe wait until you actually have kids before making those kind of absolute pronouncements?
My kids didn't get cell phones until they were about 15. Looking back that was probably too young.

The neural/chemical effects of cell phones and social media are real and very significant. The average teen today has the attention span of a gnat. That said, television viewing in large amounts is pretty negative too.
 
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Social media has destroyed this world.

I wouldn't go that far. But improperly used it certainly has caused some damage. Much like firearms and weapons, social media should be respected and handled carefully. There are ramifications for it's improper use. It should not something you just blatantly turn someone loose with, without any guidance, instruction, or limitations.
 
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That said, television viewing in large amounts is pretty negative too.

True to a point. But it greatly depends on what they're watching. You have the Science Channel, and a click away is "Black Ink Crew". Which would you prefer to see your kid tuning into? Television is much more varied today than it was in the 60's with just 3 networks.
 
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If you watch kids programming, you'll see that the frame is cut every couple of seconds at most. Over time this causes changes in the brain that increases the need for stimulation just to maintain a baseline of comfort and saiety.
 

Astro14

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My kids didn't get cell phones until they were about 15. Looking back that was probably too young.

The neural/chemical effects of cell phones and social media are real and very significant. The average teen today has the attention span of a gnat. That said, television viewing in large amounts is pretty negative too.
I agree with you on all those points.

But pronouncements on “how it’s going to be” from people who have yet to experience parenting are, well, silly.

Like listening to someone tell you what kind of driver they’re going to be, when their first experience is years in their future.

As a parent to several kids, three of my own, and three step kids, I’ve got some experience on what it is like being a parent.

Those who have not yet had children, are, at best, naïve…
 
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My oldest is 9. No social media, no phone.

I'd buy her a phone today if she gave me a reason to need one. Pick up dance again (school shut down due to CV-19), soccer, other after-school or extra-curricular activites, etc...

And it'll be phone numbers in it and games on it. We don't have a home phone for her to talk to friends on, and I'm 34 and prefer texting so I'm sure she would to...

Have to find a balance.
 
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I've found that kids tend to emulate their parents or role models. The parents should always be the role models but sometimes that doesn't work out. I think that a lot of kids don't achieve because they don't have a positive role model in their life. I had to take my daughter to a probation meeting with the county court and talk to her probation officer. There were a couple other young adults there for their meetings. One young adult had a Cormac McCarthy book and his mother looked horrified and embarrassed that she was there with her son. Another young adult was there with his family and they were having a grand time telling jokes and goofing off like it was just another appointment.

Pretty easy to guess which young adult got their life straightened out. Not every parent wants their kids to achieve more than they've achieved. If a parent mocks a kid or schoolmate that is studious, that makes it tough on their kids to excel.

My mother was very conservative. and always told me: No tattoos, keep your hair short, look straight laced, etc., if you want to make it in the business world. Those rules don't apply much today.

If all the other kids have phones and communicate their social lives that way and your kid has no phone, they can become a social outcast. That's not a good outcome.
 
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I've found that kids tend to emulate their parents or role models. The parents should always be the role models but sometimes that doesn't work out. I think that a lot of kids don't achieve because they don't have a positive role model in their life. I had to take my daughter to a probation meeting with the county court and talk to her probation officer. There were a couple other young adults there for their meetings. One young adult had a Cormac McCarthy book and his mother looked horrified and embarrassed that she was there with her son. Another young adult was there with his family and they were having a grand time telling jokes and goofing off like it was just another appointment.

Pretty easy to guess which young adult got their life straightened out. Not every parent wants their kids to achieve more than they've achieved. If a parent mocks a kid or schoolmate that is studious, that makes it tough on their kids to excel.

My mother was very conservative. and always told me: No tattoos, keep your hair short, look straight laced, etc., if you want to make it in the business world. Those rules don't apply much today.

If all the other kids have phones and communicate their social lives that way and your kid has no phone, they can become a social outcast. That's not a good outcome.
...well...ya never know what yer gonna have to work with..my son has been mentally ill since he was 16. He is now 32 and he is skizo-effective now.

My dad lived through the great depression and the second war. Always said to keep hair short so no one can grab it during a confrontation. Keep shoes tied so ya can run from a bad situation or kick one if necessary. Keep shirt tucked in..if not possible one is too fat....and wear belt as it can be used as a weapon if needed. Always carry utility tool with a knife. I'm 62 now and I see he was right..

As far as the op, all one can hope for is to be born with ok hardwiring.
 
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I grew up in a very good home with both parents and 4 siblings. My younger sister being 6'2" got a full basketball scholarship. Her intention was to become a nurse and she was/is very smart. She was injured playing and fed pain pills like candy. This was in 2005 before Heroin use blew up.
She ended up becoming a heroin addict and got in trouble with the law. Luckily she is now a productive adult and I personally take her for her monthly Vivitrol shot. She also got her record expunged.

Is this my parents fault? I think not. Is this my sisters fault? I think not. What about the team DR that gave her pills like candy and her coach that told her to soldier on? What about the drug company?

Unfortunately all healthcare systems revolves around money.

Some doctors giving patients with Pink Eye a prescription eye drops for infection and OxyContin for the irritation.

Many doctors only went into the field (business) to make money, not properly treat patients.
 
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I went to high school with who id call a freaky girl. Oooofff.. No. Now, she’s one of the most normal people I know. Lol.

I get not being impressed, but perhaps they just need to grow up?
 
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I went to high school with who id call a freaky girl. Oooofff.. No. Now, she’s one of the most normal people I know. Lol.

I get not being impressed, but perhaps they just need to grow up?

I knew several like that when I was in high school. The only bad effect I see today that wasn't then, are so many of these young, beautiful girls covering their bodies with tattoos and piercings. They're all but turning themselves into sideshow circus freaks.

I can all but guarantee you, most all of them will regret what they've done when they get into their 40's, if not sooner. I don't care what you have tattooed, skin is a living organ, and it doesn't stay the same.

I've never seen a 20 year old tattoo that looked good. Most of these women look like hell with them, when they're young and freshly done. Imagine after 20 years. They're all going to look like a bunch of old, weathered biker hags.... That were rode hard, and put away wet.
 
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Is anyone going to honestly sit there and tell me this girl is going to be happy with the way she looks in another 20 years, after the novelty wears off?

If yes, you need to put down the crack pipe, go outside, and get a few deep breaths of fresh air.

dNgDmN2.jpg
 
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