Dealing with my younger sister

[skyactiv]

I agreed to sell my rental house to my parents which my sister will move into after the tenants move out next month.
My sister is a recovering heroin addict. She was injured playing college basketball, put on opioids which led to her using heroin.
She goes to a private methadone clinic which my dad pays for which cost $105 a week. She goes once a week and takes home dosing for 6 days.

She has been staying with my wife and I since a week ago Saturday. She has a job with a national chain and transfered to a local location already.

Since she's been staying with us she has:

Took every blanket and comforter in the linen closet and put them on her bed. She says she needs weight on her to get a good nights rest.

Throws her dirty clothes on the bedroom floor and leaves empty soda cans astray. There is a hamper in the bedroom.

Tanned naked on the patio. The patio is secluded, but my wife got off work early and walked out to her spread eagle on the patio.

Smokes cigarettes. I make her smoke outside. I bought her a Juul E-cig I'm giving her when she comes home from work this evening.

She will be 8 minutes away from me when she moves out. My older brother who was looking after her until she moved told me "I'm glad I don't have to deal with her anymore".

 

[Mr Nice]

Hopefully she improves and gets her life together.

How old is your sister ?

 

[mrsilv04]

My older sister is bipolar. It isn't any easier.

 

[eljefino]

Was she a brat before or did the situation change her?

She could probably stand to have a (sober) roommate or boyfriend who lets her know when she's out of bounds.

Crazy how an injury leads down that road so often.

 

[barkingspider]

I'm sorry, sky. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you and your wife. I hope your sister realizes it and gets better

 

[Leo99]

You never give up on family. She has to figure it out on her own. Sometimes people need a little tough love and sometimes they need more to get them over the hump.

A few of my kids' friends have died from heroin. They've been to way more funerals than they should have had. My daughter's ex b/f OD'd a few months ago. One of their childhood friends that I used to drive around with them got shot and left for dead in the street in Camden, NJ. The bullet is still in him but he's ok. A bit of a miracle.

Isn't methadone a temporary thing like Nicoderm?
Good luck.

PS, I'd set some ground rules in my house. Clothes, trash, nakedness, smoking...

 

[Bud]

Your house and you should be setting the rules and enforcing them. She can't or won't abide, send her packing. Harsh to some, but don't be a doormat for anyone. If you put up with it you can't complain.

 

[Finz]

Originally Posted by Bud
Your house and you should be setting the rules and enforcing them. She can't or won't abide, send her packing. Harsh to some, but don't be a doormat for anyone. If you put up with it you can't complain.



I have to agree. It sucks and I'm very sorry for you and your family, sister included, as I'm sure she had other plans for life.

But you have to take care of yourself first so you can then be in a position to care for others. Ground rules and then nobody can act surprised

I really am sorry you have to go thru this

 

[02SE]

So many things to say, but it's not my place. So, I'll just say I hope it all works out for everyone involved.

 

[JeffKeryk]

There are no easy answers to addiction; good luck. It is a family disease.
I hope there is no alcohol in your house; a relapse is a relapse.
I can tell you, heroin is the devil.
Generally it is a long road to recovery with lotsa bumps.
Rules and structure are a good thing.
I am not a religious person, but pray for guidance.
Recovery is God's work.
I am sober 31 years 9 months.
Meetings, meetings, meetings.
You might consider Al-Anon.
Good luck to you and your family.

 

[Leo99]

Originally Posted by JeffKeryk
There are no easy answers to addiction; good luck. It is a family disease.
I hope there is no alcohol in your house; a relapse is a relapse.
I can tell you, heroin is the devil.
Generally it is a long road to recovery with lotsa bumps.
Rules and structure are a good thing.
I am not a religious person, but pray for guidance.
Recovery is God's work.
I am sober 31 years 9 months.
Meetings, meetings, meetings.
You might consider Al-Anon.
Good luck to you and your family.


Congratulations. Keep it up, one day at a time.

 

[Doc8404]

I wish you the best.....good friends of mine here
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2...usands/B1CmLHMtfrecRqAYfAhxSL/story.html

 

[JohnnyJohnson]

Good luck odds say you're going to need it. You have a much bigger heart than me I've seen that before. I'll never go there again.

 

[53' Stude]

Originally Posted by JohnnyJohnson
Good luck odds say you're going to need it. You have a much bigger heart than me I've seen that before. I'll never go there again.


Very well stated Johnny. Illegal drugs are bad is all i can say

Keeping her in my thoughts and prayers skyactiv

 

[rubberchicken]

Methadone is more of a medium to long term treatment, and its been around for a long time. The only advice I have is to protect yourself financially if she fails.

 

[Andrew1972]

So sorry.

Addiction destroys people, relationships and family's. I wish you the best.

Hang in there.

 

[JHZR2]

Not knowing more, it seems that if your parents bought your house, then it's theirs/hers to do as they wish. Frankly, I can't imagine it's the only house in a 15 minute drive radius, so I'd have avoided this situation, because you'll have an attachment to the house as well.

If her brain is fried from drugs, she'll do crazy things which will make you upset.
If she reverts to drugs, she'll at minimum have strange things and people in her house, lose the house at worst..

Now you have the house and her to deal with, and I suspect that you'll be exhibiting conflicting attachment to both.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so yet. Had she just done some weird things, you'd tell her no in the nicest possible way, and count down the days. The fact that you're talking bout them on a public web forum means that they bother you in some other way. Not being rude or saying anything bad about you, that's just my evaluation, worth what you paid for it.

I'm not sure any of the things she did are that odd. It's the fact that she has so many of these issues that makes it odd. Even the tanning naked isn't that strange. Smoking? That's concerning since she now has two different addictions, but not out of the ordinary. Being a slob? Well was she always that way? My six year old throws clothes everywhere too... The blanket thing indicates that she has a sensory need, likely due to the drugs, and that may be easily treatable with the right therapists. Dealing with something like that may be a step in the right direction as it might help her fulfill a need in a way other than drugs.

Good luck..

 

[maxdustington]

If I had a recovering addict in the house who's worst offences were being nude and hacking darts I would be satisfied with that. At least she is not stealing and on the medication, how can you really ask for more than that at least in the short term.

Best way to not do drugs is to be at work where you can't do them.

 

[zrxkawboy]

Originally Posted by JHZR2
Not knowing more, it seems that if your parents bought your house, then it's theirs/hers to do as they wish. Frankly, I can't imagine it's the only house in a 15 minute drive radius, so I'd have avoided this situation, because you'll have an attachment to the house as well.
..


I believe he meant that his parents bought a rental house from him, which sis will eventually move in to after it is vacant, but for now she's living in his home.

 

[dave1251]

If this is the worst she does consider you and her lucky. I can not empathise with addicts even though it's a disease. My parents, siblings, uncle, cousins are addicts and I will never understand letting drugs overtake your life. But she needs your support.