OK, this is in jest - partially.
Over the weekend I purchased a new cell phone online. The distribution center is located about 20 miles from my house with a large hub nearby. My package was picked up by FedEx on Monday at about 1:30 pm and is scheduled to be delivered some time on Thursday. That's right, 3 days to go 20 miles. I checked tracking and it was picked up, left FedEx origin facility, arrived at FedEx location, was in transit, departed FedEx location, and now its at local FedEx facility. LOL, a bicyle would have easily gotten it here by now. Even UPS ground is usually next day on distances of less than 150 miles.
Progress.