What it's like to fly an airliner.

[Astro14]

Hi Astro.
Having read that i feel both saddened and embarrased. Small minded people given a small amount of power. Is there no official way you can call them out on this?

That is just crazy. You can't take your leatherman tool but you can have the axe!

Anyway, thanks for clearing up the 'urban myth'.

To add to the silliness of the whole situation, some pilots in the US are trained as FFDOs.

Federal Flight Deck Officers are unpaid volunteers who go through an extensive background check, train with our Air Marshal program, are deputized and carry firearms in the cockpit.

So, he can have his gun in the US, but not even a chapstick in the UK...

 

[Astro14]

@Astro14

You need a pocket protector. lol
they are becoming fashionable again.

I carry an Apple Pencil - because our charts and flight plans are all on the iPad. I highlight, add notes, and waypoints, all using the pencil. Additionally, training forms are all electronic, and I sign and get signatures from my students on the iPad. So much easier to hand them the pencil to sign.

I carry a pen (actually, a Cross Fountain pen at the moment) because I still need to write on paper. The fountain pen makes a bold line that I can see with ease at night, in low light, with bits like the lead flight attendant name, ATIS, gate, and flight number.

So, yeah, two implements in my pocket.

I do, for the record, know how to use a slide rule, as well as an E-6B, but those calculations are done for me now. No need to do them myself.

 

[4WD]

Absolutely true.

There is a sharpened axe in every cockpit.

Even a small knife will show up on the x-ray and get a pilot in trouble with the authorities.

The UK, by the way, is the absolute worst for airline crews. They are rude, condescending, inept, rough, and boorish. They will stand 3" from your face to "check" your breath, looking to bust someone for alcohol, threaten you with arrest for even speaking while in line, rip your things out of your bags while searching for a supposed "violation". I know guys who will bid any European city but carefully avoid all UK flying because of the hassle of UK security. Same standards across all countries, but the level of rudeness varies dramatically. Even the French are polite and cheerful while screening crews, but not the UK.

They once took everything from my bag while searching for something. Every article of clothing dumped on their table. Wouldn't tell me why, or what they were looking for.

Finally - they found it.

A Chapstick had fallen into a crevice in my bag. Clearly a serious threat to national security. Worth pulling all my stuff out and dumping it.

Took me ten minutes to put everything back in, and there were three "security" people standing there telling me to hurry up because I was holding up the line. They continued to scold me for the Chapstick, telling me that it should have been in my one liter clear plastic bag. Except that it is wax, not a liquid or gel, and therefore, not part of the requirement to put it in the one liter bag. Very effective use of personnel - all standing around offering criticism and derision to "help" me get re-packed after they dumped everything out.

Love your country, but not your airport Nazis.

I hate LHR … last time through while I was under interrogation and stuff spread everywhere … guy next to me was putting his stuff back and was angry … he left behind a nice Apple notebook … she grabs it and puts it in a plastic bin … moves it behind her.
The guy was only 10m gone and walking away … I hollered that he left his laptop. He came back.
She gives me a death ray look and gets back to the interrogation …

 

[spasm3]

To add to the silliness of the whole situation, some pilots in the US are trained as FFDOs.

Federal Flight Deck Officers are unpaid volunteers who go through an extensive background check, train with our Air Marshal program, are deputized and carry firearms in the cockpit.

So, he can have his gun in the US, but not even a chapstick in the UK...

Do the airlines screen out and confiscate the tactical ink pens?

 

[Astro14]

Do the airlines screen out and confiscate the tactical ink pens?

The airlines don't do the screening. It's TSA in the US and various civil aviation authorities overseas.

A tactical pen can be a weapon in trained hands, but it is not prohibited here.

That said, I have had TSA and other agencies claim that my pewter F-14 key fob, which is about an inch long, is a weapon, since it looks like an arrowhead on x-ray. I have been able to keep it after explaining that the object in their hands is a tiny model of the airplane I flew on Active Duty.

There is some discretion on the part of the agent conducting the search. I don't own a tactical pen, so I can't tell you if they hit on it or not.

 

[Astro14]

I hate LHR … last time through while I was under interrogation and stuff spread everywhere … guy next to me was putting his stuff back and was angry … he left behind a nice Apple notebook … she grabs it and puts it in a plastic bin … moves it behind her.
The guy was only 10m gone and walking away … I hollered that he left his laptop. He came back.
She gives me a death ray look and gets back to the interrogation …

You cost her an "abandoned property" upgrade to her laptop...

 

[Jetronic]

how is that different from stealing?

I had to empty my bag once because they found an 8" long bar in it on x-ray but couldn't find it when looking in the bag. It was 4 spare AA batteries for my digital camera, in the front pocket of the backpack. They lined up if the bag was put upright

 

[hotoil]

To add to the silliness of the whole situation, some pilots in the US are trained as FFDOs.

Federal Flight Deck Officers are unpaid volunteers who go through an extensive background check, train with our Air Marshal program, are deputized and carry firearms in the cockpit.

So, he can have his gun in the US, but not even a chapstick in the UK...

I took one of the early FFDO classes, and stayed active in the program until retirement.
Having been a police officer and firearms trainer in my other life, I expected the FFDO training to be a bureaucratic mess. I was wrong, the training was excellent and the instructors were nothing like the duds who made the SOP's for the program.
When one of the instructors learned that I was flying the 777, he said "I love that airplane". I thought he was referring to comfortable passenger seats or a good audio system, but he liked the 777 because of the narrow corridor leading up to the cockpit. "If a group is trying to hijack your airplane, the bodies will stack up in the corridor as you shoot them. You can shoot the rest of them as they crawl over their dead buddies."
The difference between a gunfighter and a bureaucrat.

Obviously, there are a lot of things that would be inappropriate to discuss even now...

 

[SEMI_287]

how is that different from stealing?

I had to empty my bag once because they found an 8" long bar in it on x-ray but couldn't find it when looking in the bag. It was 4 spare AA batteries for my digital camera, in the front pocket of the backpack. They lined up if the bag was put upright

You’d be surprised what’s “left behind.” All I can do is shake my head. I pack my bags in a way so they’ll never have to be dumped and gone through. There’s a few airports I found aren’t so crew friendly.

 

[Astro14]

You’d be surprised what’s “left behind.” All I can do is shake my head. I pack my bags in a way so they’ll never have to be dumped and gone through. There’s a few airports I found aren’t so crew friendly.

Been to Heathrow lately?

Makes TSA look like a model of customer friendly reasonableness and accommodation...

 

[Astro14]

The FFDO program is still great. Great training. Supportive admin. That week in Artesia was well run and incredibly valuable.

 

[Number_35]

Hi.
I just googled lizzie borden .

One component of my strange childhood was hearing my mother recite a rhyming ditty about Lizzie Borden.

 

[john_pifer]

Great thread guys. Love hearing the stories and anecdotes.

Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

 

[SEMI_287]

Been to Heathrow lately?

Makes TSA look like a model of customer friendly reasonableness and accommodation...

No I haven't and I don't think I want to. Stiff ass Brits.

 

[supton]

@Astro14

You need a pocket protector. lol
they are becoming fashionable again.

When did they go out?

About 10 or 15 years ago I started wearing one. Great place to stash pens (go figure) but also a pair of snips & screwdriver (used them a bit on the job, minor electronic repairs, and these tools were "mine") and then when we needed to carry our badge I dropped it into some magnetic holder and clamped it onto the holder. Very easy to take out of my shirt pocket at the end the day, and easy to drop back in on the start of a new one.

If I come across a slide rule at a garage sale and it's cheap and in good shape, I feel obligated to pick the poor thing up. I never remember how to use one (why would I? I have at least 2 scientific calculators on my desk, plus the computer) but it just feels like the right thing to do.

 

[Astro14]

I learned to use a slide rule in 7th grade. I was bored with the science class I had, wasn’t learning anything, so the science teacher, Mrs. Ehlers, gave me “extra” work to do, including learning a slide rule. Basically, you’re adding logarithms to multiply numbers quickly. The other scales allow you to trigonometric functions, and other tasks.

This would have been in 1975-6. I’ve still got the slide rule.

When we had to learn the E-6B (the mechanical version) in flight school, it was a piece of cake. Just a slide rule in a different format.

 

[supton]

Oh I understand how they work, I just never remember what scales to use, so I have to play with it to "remember"--basically, pick an easy equation, say 2x3, then fiddle until I find what I want, then go from there. Have a manual or two that explain the works, including trig scales, but since I didn't grow up with them, nor have taken to them, I just don't use 'em.

But they're cool all the same.

 

[4WD]

You’d be surprised what’s “left behind.” All I can do is shake my head. I pack my bags in a way so they’ll never have to be dumped and gone through. There’s a few airports I found aren’t so crew friendly.

You learn what gets their attention after a while. In addition to the liquid in a bag … I started packing phones, calculators, cables, and chargers in zip lock bags and can quickly get those things out and into the bin … leaving the X-ray agent a much cleaner view of the backpack … and less “side shows” for me …

 

[SEMI_287]

You learn what gets their attention after a while. In addition to the liquid in a bag … I started packing phones, calculators, cables, and chargers in zip lock bags and can quickly get those things out and into the bin … leaving the X-ray agent a much cleaner view of the backpack … and less “side shows” for me …

I like using a safety razor and old fashioned soap to shave. I have my razor and blades in zip lock bags along with my tin of soap. The tin of soap is like 3.6 ounces and some TSA have a fit about that. They've kept the razor blades and soap a couple of times. No big deal though, the goop in a can sucks and irritates my skin, same with razors. The airports I use on my commute are good. Just a few here and there I just don't bring them anymore. If it wasn't for my uniform I'd love to tell them which side of the government to kiss.

 

[OilUzer]

pack some slide rule and straight razor and strop and you will go straight to jail. One is sharp and the other looks funny. lol