All is good unless you have a crazy aunt.. maybe two. Dad has three sisters, two are ok but that the oldest made cleaning up gma's a nightmare.
What did you do with your parent/s stuff when they passed ?
- Thread starter CarLuver
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When my father died, my mom started cleaning everything out of the house that was his. I got a LOT of tools. Clothes she donated tomy cousin's church for their thrift shop and then it was a lot of throwing out. Unfortunately for us - my father had the hoarding gene ... which I inherited.
I got a LOT of tools out of the garage for myself. And scrap metal for projects.
Earlier this year, she moved closer to us. I will commend her 100% for how well she did. She set aside the stuff that she was going to bring with her to her new house (a brand new 14x52 mobile home in a retirement park) and everything else my cousin's church could take to sell. And they did.
Any scrap metal that I didn't want, we gave to my uncle. The rest of the stuff in the house and garage that wasn't wanted, I just bagged up and threw in the truck and my trailer and brought to the dump. Unfortunately, the driveway is too small for us to have rented a dumpster.
I got a LOT of tools out of the garage for myself. And scrap metal for projects.
Earlier this year, she moved closer to us. I will commend her 100% for how well she did. She set aside the stuff that she was going to bring with her to her new house (a brand new 14x52 mobile home in a retirement park) and everything else my cousin's church could take to sell. And they did.
Any scrap metal that I didn't want, we gave to my uncle. The rest of the stuff in the house and garage that wasn't wanted, I just bagged up and threw in the truck and my trailer and brought to the dump. Unfortunately, the driveway is too small for us to have rented a dumpster.
Gas can is appropriate
When my mother left in 2017 we just divided everything up. We managed to do it without bickering, which is surprising but was what our mother wanted. There were things all of us wanted, but we also realized none of us had any right to any of it. If you realize you do not have any right to it, it makes it easier to say someone else can have it. By an old family rule, any gift went back to the gift giver.
I was a bit dopey when I typed this early today.
My brother had already moved out the car and the piano. My dad had sold most of his tools earlier and nothing either of us wanted for tools.
We still have their house, nearly done with renovation.
Lastly my dad had some cool old items - collectable lighters and such. Small items. My grandpa's old orange grove varmint guns I didn't need.
But yes so much other stuff that had no real value. Their house had a library. FULL of books. The library accepted them, maybe surprised us a bit.
My mother passed the same way. Sorry for your loss. My parents lived with us. We still have a lot of their belongings. Luckily we have a good sized storage area in the house.
The way she passed i think was blessing in disguise . She was losing her memory in the last few years . I don't think she would have wanted to be in a nursing home seeing how independent in life she was . She had a full life , Saw grandchildren and great grandchildren . She is now with my dad and her siblings that passed before her .
thanks for a the condolences . Family is the most precious thing we have
Sorry for the loss of your mom.
When my mom passed she had pared down a lot of her things and moved into a condo. The family took what we wanted. We contacted the dept of aging and they came and took her furniture. Anything else went to goodwill or the dump,
When my mom passed she had pared down a lot of her things and moved into a condo. The family took what we wanted. We contacted the dept of aging and they came and took her furniture. Anything else went to goodwill or the dump,
It was just my brother and I to divide everything up. I asked him what he wanted inside the house, basement, garage. He got first choice and he chose 2 nice pieces. I took my kids down and we made a list of what we got. Yard sold a bunch and gave what was left over to a local man and wife if they would have the house cleaned out and ready to sell. Vacuumed, mopped, etc. We provided the dumpster. Once the house sells, my brother and I will come together and place values on what we took before the yard sale. We will straighten up at the sale of the house. I probably got $1000 more stuff than he did.
What shocked me was how I felt when my family was walking through the house seeing what they wanted. It was a bad feeling. Then when we got to the old photos......Brought up some emotions I didn't know were there. What really blessed me was when my Daughter said she didn't really want anything. She just wanted Mom's (Grandma's) apron and a vase Mom made. She said she wanted something to remember Grandma. I had to go outside.
What shocked me was how I felt when my family was walking through the house seeing what they wanted. It was a bad feeling. Then when we got to the old photos......Brought up some emotions I didn't know were there. What really blessed me was when my Daughter said she didn't really want anything. She just wanted Mom's (Grandma's) apron and a vase Mom made. She said she wanted something to remember Grandma. I had to go outside.
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As others have said, I'm sorry for your loss. Blessings to your family.
I had it easy, for several reasons.
I had it easy, for several reasons.
- Being the financial type, I had the living trust and other documents 100% in order. I was the executor.
- My Dad's care giver, Lolomani, was from Tonga. I asked Mani to have her church folk come and get whatever they wanted. They cleaned the place out. I had gotten to know many of them over the 5 years Mani cared for my father.
- My BIL and sister came to finish up and fix up the house. Mark works like a tornado; he gets stuff done. In fact there were a couple of my things there that went bye-bye. Oh well.
- The best part was, my sister Patty took or got rid of the personal stuff. That was above my pay grade.
Kept a few things. Yard sale to empty out the house. The rest to goodwill or trash.
My wife of 42 years died in 2023.
She had a hoarding problem, not as bad as you might see on television. I am still digging out.
I would like to suggest a book. The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.
Thin book, easy read, not macabre at all.
Main Points?
We will all die sometime.
Somebody will have to deal with our stuff.
Removing unneeded, unwanted stuff from our environment add lightness.
fat biker
https://www.google.com/search?gs_ss...g2ODExajBqN6gCALACAA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
She had a hoarding problem, not as bad as you might see on television. I am still digging out.
I would like to suggest a book. The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.
Thin book, easy read, not macabre at all.
Main Points?
We will all die sometime.
Somebody will have to deal with our stuff.
Removing unneeded, unwanted stuff from our environment add lightness.
fat biker
https://www.google.com/search?gs_ss...g2ODExajBqN6gCALACAA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
As I get older , this becomes more real to me .
Gonna leave my parents belongings as they are. We were fixing to move in but live close enough that they dont want that. The house is paid for so I can make the other five bedrooms mine. Apparently my aunt did the same and left her sons room untouched since he passed (suicide). I wont alter my parents room, I had a hard enough time even sleeping at grandma's house after she passed at home. Its amazing that she kept everything I gave her, found sime stuff I hadn't remembered about too. She worked in the airplane factories in Wichita during WW2, everyone in that generation was doing a part for the war efforts. Proud of her accomplishments and miss most of my relatives....
My brother and I took/sold, and gave away what we could. Sadly a lot of things got pitched.
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Sorry for your loss
Well, in a variation of this topic, in my early 70s, I am giving away, while alive, things I am not using to the people I would leave them to.
So, for Christmas and birthdays, people are getting firearms, watches, etc. I have a lot of amateur radio equipment and I am donating used equipment to new licensees so they can get on the air. My estate plan deals with cars and whatever else is left of any value.
The rest of it? I plan on a King Tut style tomb, and I will take that with me.
So, for Christmas and birthdays, people are getting firearms, watches, etc. I have a lot of amateur radio equipment and I am donating used equipment to new licensees so they can get on the air. My estate plan deals with cars and whatever else is left of any value.
The rest of it? I plan on a King Tut style tomb, and I will take that with me.
My condolences.
I was the trustee and executer of my parents estate. I bought the house from my parents while they were still alive, as their care, particularly my dad's cancer treatments, had wiped out their savings. Both of my older sisters were made well aware of this, as I had proposed splitting the cost to buy the house three ways, and then we'd sell it and split the proceeds three ways after our parents were gone. My oldest sister wanted the house given to her, and I told her mom and dad needed the money to live on. Always unreasonable, she wouldn't hear of it. My other sister and brother-in-law weren't interested, So I bought it.
Of us three siblings, my oldest sister wanted the most things out of the house after mom and dad were gone. She threatened legal action even before the body of our mother was cold (dad had died 33 days earlier). I simply told her she can have whatever she wants. I think not fighting her for possessions of our parents, made her even angrier... So she took what she wanted. Our daughter and her husband are living in the house now. They have kept it very close to how it was, as it makes our daughter happy to remember her childhood at grandma and grandpas. They are responsible for all expenses of living there, and will have the title in their names eventually if they keep it maintained.
I was the trustee and executer of my parents estate. I bought the house from my parents while they were still alive, as their care, particularly my dad's cancer treatments, had wiped out their savings. Both of my older sisters were made well aware of this, as I had proposed splitting the cost to buy the house three ways, and then we'd sell it and split the proceeds three ways after our parents were gone. My oldest sister wanted the house given to her, and I told her mom and dad needed the money to live on. Always unreasonable, she wouldn't hear of it. My other sister and brother-in-law weren't interested, So I bought it.
Of us three siblings, my oldest sister wanted the most things out of the house after mom and dad were gone. She threatened legal action even before the body of our mother was cold (dad had died 33 days earlier). I simply told her she can have whatever she wants. I think not fighting her for possessions of our parents, made her even angrier... So she took what she wanted. Our daughter and her husband are living in the house now. They have kept it very close to how it was, as it makes our daughter happy to remember her childhood at grandma and grandpas. They are responsible for all expenses of living there, and will have the title in their names eventually if they keep it maintained.
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