Was your wife ever a Stay at Home wife/mom?

[slo town]

My wife was a SAHM for 15 or 16 years. We were dual income until the first of our children were born. My wife, an RN, didn't work again until our youngest got into high school. We are forever grateful that I had the income stream to allow this.

Then I retired at age 52 (private sector, no pension). By that time my wife had re-established her RN career. So, except for the first 4 or 5 years after we got married we've been single income. Like it was in my case we are forever grateful my wife had the income stream to allow my retirement.

Scott

 

[Dave Hess]

Yep, been sacrificing for 20yrs so my wife can be home for our 4 kids. One is college age now, with two not far behind and a 10yr old. Early on she tried to keep her seniority at the hospital she worked at by taking a shift on my off days, or we'd have gramma/grampa watch the tiny ones when we both worked, but that got too tough.

IMO, if you're going to have kids, strangers shouldn't raise them. Those years go by quick.

My mom was SAHM with 4 kids, 2 years apart. My dad was an airline A&P mechanic with very good pay and benefits, thanks to the union. Late 60’s a new 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom, 2 car garage house was $35,000….. that same exact house today is now $700K.

Back then you could have single family house, 4 kids, 2 cars, vacations with only 1 paycheck. Today that would be very difficult with only 1 paycheck…. unless like you said “sacrificing” .

 

[tbm5690]

Back then you could have single family house, 4 kids, 2 cars, vacations with only 1 paycheck. Today that would be very difficult with only 1 paycheck…. unless like you said “sacrificing” .

I think it really comes down to where you live...not necessarily that much of a sacrifice and I can tell you I'm not going to live somewhere that has 700k as the entry cost for a 4 bed. Above all, I feel that what people consider a "sacrifice" these days is hilariously different to what it used to be and frankly they think they can't make it one one income when in reality they aren't willing to.

 

[JTK]

My mom was SAHM with 4 kids, 2 years apart. My dad was an airline A&P mechanic with very good pay and benefits, thanks to the union. Late 60’s a new 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom, 2 car garage house was $35,000….. that same exact house today is now $700K.

Back then you could have single family house, 4 kids, 2 cars, vacations with only 1 paycheck. Today that would be very difficult with only 1 paycheck…. unless like you said “sacrificing” .

For sure on that. Just look at the difference in the past 2-3yrs. It keeps me up at night thinking about how my kids will be able to move forward in life today. In terms of vacations, since my wife and I had kids, those have been very few and far between. The big ones we have been on were highly subsidized by my inlaws who are big Disney fans.

The other thing I feel badly about is not being able to do much in terms of helping my kids with college. They're on their own for that. My daughter goes to community college and even that is ~$6000/year for a full time student these days.

 

[WobblyElvis]

My wife's job situation was better so I stayed home. 4 kids in a 6 year time period. You might think you have a tough job......let me tell you.
There is nothing harder and at the same time more rewarding than staying at home and helping young minds grow into sound and fair minded adults. Not enough praise is given to those who raise our children.

 

[1uz_4me]

No, but my mom was while we grew up

 

[walterjay]

My wife was a SAHM for 15 years. We sacrificed a lot but it was worth it.

 

[GSCJR]

My wife and I are 46 and we've been married for 23 years this June. Our kids are both in high school and she's been a SAHM for over 11 years. Our parents are hard workers. My father-in-law always reminded us, "it's not how much you make, it's how much you save" , we are proof of that. We sacrficied and still do for the sake of our family so that WE could raise them.

I think the word sacrificed has a negative connotation in my last post. Living within our means and setting your priorities straight is not always a sacrifice, it's a lifestyle. I'm not missing or lacking anything, we just enjoy the simple things in life.

 

[svtrit]

Yes. Married 25 years, and we decided that from day 1. She homeschooled the kids as well. I’ve been fortunate that my career allowed it, but she did odd jobs here and there in lean times. Having a career this always had company vehicles helped for sure. Now that I don’t, I feel it!

Now we are foster parents. Kids have moved out and others have taken their place.

 

[JavierH19]

Oh boy don't even get me started.

 

[53' Stude]

Growing up, mom had her own clothing store for children and real dad worked as much overtime as he could. We were good kids growing up, went fishing in summer and canned food a lot. Mom bought us whatever we needed for school too. I guess brother and I did alright

 

[ATex7239]

My ex wife stayed at home for little awhile. My current wife has always worked and has no interest in staying at home. I think I could be a stay at home dad but I’d need my wife to start making some serious bank. If I’m staying at home I’m going to be well kept.

 

[IndyIan]

My wife did a year off with each kid (paid, but reduced) and I took 3 or 4 months off as well(paid,but reduced). We certainly don't regret taking the time off and I enjoyed spending alot of time with our oldest when the second was born. We were also lucky to have good quality and cheap private daycare which I think was also a good option instead of one of us staying home. I can't really recall even a day when we had a problem with daycare for them. For sure I would've liked spending more time with them but we had enough holidays to get in all the fun stuff we could afford anyways.

 

[ArPix]

Mrs. Bullwinkle has been a SAHM since 1998, so, 24 years. Our youngest son was born with disabilities, and we couldn’t find decent daycare for him, so she has been home with him since he was 1 1/2. It’s been a lot of work, and a lot of financial sacrifice, but I’ve been lucky that she has been willing to do it. She volunteers now (with my disabled now adult son), so they’ve been able to give back in a way that I’ve always been too busy working to do.

This has been almost exactly our situation since our son was born in 1985. We are still in the same small house and go camping for vacations. Wife is still our son’s and her 97 y.o. Mom’s caregiver. BTW, I am a big Rocky and Bullwinkle fan!

 

[supton]

My wife was, but after a few years she started doing some part time work, whatever would fit the schedule. But first she did an online masters program, just to keep her sanity.

 

[Ursatdx]

Mine was for 15 years. It's what we wanted. She drives a school bus now.
The Twp drivers are members of the teachers union. With health insurance at nearly
$2500 per month as a small business owner, she's worth 30k before she turns the key 180 days a year.
The cost of the cadillac plan is 4-5% of her earnings. (Health/Dental/Eye) The NJEA has great benefits.
The added cash is hers to play with. The real plus is it cuts down on her "shopping" time for
1/2 the year.

 

[grisby]

Married for 49 yrs this month and my wife was SAHM for all of it. Sacrificed a lot in early years but I feel the kids are better for it(we had them, we raised them! 4 kids) and it shows with their decisions that they made along with their career choices. All are doing VERY well.

 

[Skippy722]

My wife is a SAHM and she works harder than I do at work! We’ve been married for almost 6 years, the boys are 6, 4 and 9 months old with a 4th on the way (I promise we’re done after the 4th! We are out of room!) Wife is 24, I’m 27.

 

[Sam_Julier]

My wife was a SAHM for 14 years raising our son and daughter. Then started work at Yale University. Her income and benefits allowed me to retire at 57. She will retire in January 2023. We’re looking forward to having the time to do things together.

Sam

 

[RitcheyRch]

My wife quit her job to stay home and watch our grandsons for 2 years.