Topics to Teach My Kids

[94astro]

As they age, teach them this & they will find their way.


Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

I have this posted on the wall near me, have had for several decades, it has helped me many times over.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

Originally Posted By: Throt

I was quite moved by this.

The only thing I could add is to teach them some work ethic. I may only be 21 but when I look around at people my age I am disgusted. I was raised by my grandparents so the values instilled in me by them are far different than the one's my peers have. I feel extremely fortunate to have been raised by an older generation. I am a manager on my college campus at a dining location and I work every single day with 18, 19, 20 year olds and the laziness and self-righteousness they exude is enough to make Jesus [censored] drop the F-bomb. My kids will be raised much differently than most of their time and while they may not like me for it in the present I know that in time they will come to appreciate and understand why I did things the way I did.


26, here, but my parents are old enough to be part of a generation that had a very strong work ethic. It definitely followed through to me and for that I am thankful.I know a lot of people my age who simply have no work ethic.

I also know a lot of my people who never had a job before they graduated college at 22 or so. I started working when I was 13.

 

[pandus13]

Originally Posted By: JerryBob
Originally Posted By: Donald
Originally Posted By: JerryBob
I am a Java programmer by profession. I was thinking of JavaScript, PHP, or Python, too - just a simple for loop.

Maybe a simple relational database one-to-many example, too.


Is Basic still around? REXX?


I use Linux almost exclusively. I think my kids would think it was cooler to spout off PHP or Pythonesque terminology, rather than Basic.

Or am I projecting???

they are a few physics-based games in the unix world....

 

[demarpaint]

We taught my son good manners, good work ethics, the value of a good education, that money doesn't grow on trees, and how to drive a stick to name a few things. I emphasized the value of learning the Martial Arts at an early age and started him when he was 4 1/2 years old. At 16 he had an adults black belt, and learned the value of sticking with something. There were a few times where he wasn't happy training 3-4 days a week but thanks me every time we talk about it till this day.

 

[Benzadmiral]

For years I've said the only things my father taught me that were worth remembering were:

1) Anything worth doing is worth doing right. (Admittedly this covers nearly everything else in life.)

2) If you're going to drink, do it at home; it's cheaper and safer than in bars.

3) Always get off the carousel in the direction it's turning.

 

[CourierDriver]

Originally Posted By: Miller88
I'd recommend teaching your kids how to think. Once they know how to think for themselves, anything else will just come naturally.

All they will be taught in school is how to take standardized tests.
Now this is good stuff.

 

[CourierDriver]

I grew up under the yes-sir,yes-maam and so on, but I was born in the mid 40s, so , manners were different then----my dad's friends wore hats and took them off when talking to a lady,,,times have changed.

 

[Smokescreen]

Originally Posted By: Throt
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
Nice topic.

Teach them it is o.k. not to strive for "best" on every endeavor.

Teach them it is o.k. to fail. It's a learning process.

Teach them not to be judgmental of others.

Teach them basic morality and integrity. An example and just one of many simple life lessons from my parents: Taking a "few" corn stalks from the farmer's 500 acre field (Halloween) is stealing and taking away from his lively hood.

Teach them money management, but that accumulation of material things and wealth is not the end-all metric defining success.

Somehow, give them confidence not to cave-in to peer pressure at every stage of life.


I was quite moved by this.

The only thing I could add is to teach them some work ethic. ...


Excellent.

I would add some survival skills to the list. These are in themselves life-saving and mean more than anything at that moment they are needed.

 

[Brian Barnhart]

Also teach them about the US Constitution; why it's needed, it’s purpose, and the price that was paid for it.

 

[uc50ic4more]

Compassion & empathy; sorely lacking today.
Critical thinking
Music
Languages

There is a lot of overlap and cross-pollination between those four; and I think they'd be a good start toward being well-rounded members of their community.

There is a rapidly-growing pool of research data suggesting that developing acuity in the latter two have profound effects on the health and cognitive functions of the brain; especially in later years.

Good luck!

 

[Dave Hess]

Any parent that sits a young child in front of a TV so they can watch [censored] for 10 hours a day should be arrested and charged with Child Abuse.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Any parent that sits a young child in front of a TV so they can watch [censored] for 10 hours a day should be arrested and charged with Child Abuse.



And then when their kid is in school, the kid can't pay attention to the lesson because he/she is used to being overstimulated by TV ... and ends up on all sorts of mind altering medication.

 

[29662]

-The value of education, knowledge is never a bad thing.

-Languages. It opens up a whole world of opportunities, which will be even more important as the world gets smaller and smaller.

-The ability to defend oneself. It imparts a degree of self confidence like few other things can.

-Survival skills, in both the great outdoors and the urban jungle. Goes back to imparting confidence.

-Self respect and respect for others. Self explanatory.

Just the basics but a good start in my opinion.

 

[aquariuscsm]

Teach them how to drive and do basic maintenance on a car. Always allow them to play outside and to avoid too much TV,video games,and computer usage (so they're not perpetually indoors). Buy them "active" type toys like bikes,skateboards,and sporting equipment. Teach them how to shoot and respect a gun.

 

[dlundblad]

OP, this seems to be a touchy subject and if it was covered or is taken the wrong way, I apologize.. But perhaps consider limiting their exposure to "TV" or even video games. Ill admit not everything is bad, but then again.. I feel most is. Nothing wrong with watching a good action movie together either though. My dad got me into "old" TV shows as a kid too.. Gilligans Island is a top favorite.

While I am on the topic, eat dinner as a family at the kitchen table. Distraction free! Have some quality home cooked meals. As mentioned, above all, teach them manners. How you treat your wife will teach them a lot too.

I am sure I missed this, but take them shooting as well. My most fondness memory is shooting my dads 1911. Have them help you mow the lawn. Sharpen the mower blades with them. Teach them how to drive/ operate a tractor. Teach them how to back a trailer. Change oil with them. Get a small boat perhaps with a small 2 stroke outboard. Take them fishing hunting. Get them into (legit gas powered) RC sports. Build a tree house with them. Etc.

My list goes on and its not as sophisticated as yours, but i strongly urge the consideration on ideas that are applicable.

I have definitely been enlightened to many bright ideas by reading this thread though.

 

[wrcsixeight]

Since we spend the second halves of our lives trying to come to terms with the first half....
I would have become a much better man had my Mother Not been an overprotective, overwhelmingly insecure, manipulative Feminist.

My personality quirks that I am working on, are directly attributed to mine and my father's continuous emasculation, and she still tries the same infuriating tactic to this day.

As such, I get really annoyed with today's mothers who do the same to their sons and act like their daughters tantrums, bad behavior, and misdeeds are merely indicating a strong will and might even be encouraged, where the same behavior by their son is to be harshly dealt with, and in a method to kill the child's spirit.

If one looks at any common interactions today, without bias, on how most Mother's treat their sons versus their daughters, one can see how deep the misandry goes. Seems that many of today's fathers will also give the daughter way more leeway than they would the son for the same behavioral infractions. Daddy's easy manipulation by the young daughter helps to turn them into another generation of manipulative feminist man haters.

I think a lot of issues this country is facing today are because men of my age, and older, and younger, had to deal with growing up under 70's style feminism, and all the apparently acceptable and 'humorous' misandry cultivated since.

So while teaching them strong morals, and allowing them to develop proper social skills is immensely important, just as important is to not let the parent's personality disorders and insecurities, similarly warp a child's subconscious.

And Today's Feminism is a personality disorder. It is not about equality, it is all about punishing all men for the bad behavior of a few.

Sure it is easier to just to pretend to agree with a woman, than listen to her indignant tantrums, but look where it has gotten us. Don't teach your sons to just rollover and agree. Do teach them how to control the caveman aggression instincts that a female's indignant irrational tirade can inspire. Just as there is no excuse for physically abusing a woman, there is no excuse for figuratively castrating men, yet the latter seems to somehow have become acceptable.

 

[JerryBob]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
Since we spend the second halves of our lives trying to come to terms with the first half....
I would have become a much better man had my Mother Not been an overprotective, overwhelmingly insecure, manipulative Feminist.

My personality quirks that I am working on, are directly attributed to mine and my father's continuous emasculation, and she still tries the same infuriating tactic to this day.

As such, I get really annoyed with today's mothers who do the same to their sons and act like their daughters tantrums, bad behavior, and misdeeds are merely indicating a strong will and might even be encouraged, where the same behavior by their son is to be harshly dealt with, and in a method to kill the child's spirit.

If one looks at any common interactions today, without bias, on how most Mother's treat their sons versus their daughters, one can see how deep the misandry goes. Seems that many of today's fathers will also give the daughter way more leeway than they would the son for the same behavioral infractions. Daddy's easy manipulation by the young daughter helps to turn them into another generation of manipulative feminist man haters.

I think a lot of issues this country is facing today are because men of my age, and older, and younger, had to deal with growing up under 70's style feminism, and all the apparently acceptable and 'humorous' misandry cultivated since.

So while teaching them strong morals, and allowing them to develop proper social skills is immensely important, just as important is to not let the parent's personality disorders and insecurities, similarly warp a child's subconscious.

And Today's Feminism is a personality disorder. It is not about equality, it is all about punishing all men for the bad behavior of a few.

Sure it is easier to just to pretend to agree with a woman, than listen to her indignant tantrums, but look where it has gotten us. Don't teach your sons to just rollover and agree. Do teach them how to control the caveman aggression instincts that a female's indignant irrational tirade can inspire. Just as there is no excuse for physically abusing a woman, there is no excuse for figuratively castrating men, yet the latter seems to somehow have become acceptable.




I hear you. I never went in for all those "gender-neutral" toys. Crissakes, they're boys. Let them be such.

I recently bought my kids a book called "The Dangerous Book for Boys". They have fun with it.

http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Book-Boys-Conn-Iggulden/dp/0062208977

I dated a woman who was a feminist once. I told her that I had no problem with feminism, I just didn't like feminists. I think that was our last date.

 

[01rangerxl]

I would teach them to do basic mechanical things on their own, now, while you still have their attention. Going to be harder to get them on board with that when they are 16.

A lot of people are so lost when it comes to using their hands to do anything but type and swipe that I wonder how they get food into their mouths or put clothes on without assistance.

I'm taking about things like...
- changing a flat tire / safely jacking up a car
- changing oil (car, lawnmower, anything)
- maintaining things (car, house, power equipment, anything that needs routine maintenance)
- inspecting/changing any type of filter
- spackling/painting/around the house trim work and repairs

Really any sort of DIY, hands-on type stuff that will familiarize them with using their hands, figuring out the basics of how things work, problem solving, and other skills that will ultimately help them to be independent adults who can survive without constant assistance. I have seen more and more people who need constant assistance with the most basic things, and seem unwilling to research things on their own or figure things out because someone else is just supposed to know. You don't need to train them to be Bear Grylls...I'm talking about training them so they don't have a panic attack when their keyless entry remote needs a battery. Believe it or not, that is a major freaking crisis for a lot of people, and it shouldn't be.

Just involving them when you do things on the car or around the house will go a long way there. Let them get their hands dirty. Also, when you go shopping for materials, involve them with that to. Familiarize them with all aspects of doing things on their own, independently.

Also, when they reach the age of being involved in contracts and legally binding agreements, help them out and walk them through it, but don't just do everything for them. Just doing it for them is a huge mistake.

My aunt's godson was put into her custody when his home situation became too messed up. That was over 10 years ago when he was in his teens, and in that time my aunt has basically done everything for him. Her excuse is, "well, he had it so hard before..." Now at 27-28 years old he can't do anything on his own. Doesn't shop for groceries at all, all arranging of doctor's visits and the like is handled by my aunt, all contracts are handled by my aunt, he drives his car until it just breaks then calls on others to get him out of his bind, etc. He is able bodied, and can work (but usually doesn't hold down jobs for more than a few months at the most). He does have some mental issues, but nothing so bad that it excuses not knowing how to be an adult at his age. I think a lot of it is learned laziness - he knows my aunt will just take care of things and make it happen. But a lot of it is my aunt's own doing - she has coddled him so much that he doesn't know how to think or do for himself at all. When in a critical thinking / problem solving situation, all he knows to do is ask for / demand help. I'm noticing a lot of people like this.

 

[KitaCam]

Teach them success.

Young people need to learn to define goals, to learn the setting of definable objectives....and to learn the value of persistence in achieving them....

Too many young people today are unable see the big picture, the life-goal they see themselves living....

Too many young people today are unwilling to set hard objectives that can measure their achievement....rather, they set goals that can be achieved with minimal effort (the "low-hanging fruit")....

Too many young people have little persistence to complete the tasks they set for themselves or tasks they agreed to complete, and see no failure in quitting and moving on to the next minimally achievable task.

I see this among too many 20-somethings I've work with over the past 10 years...people who do half the work I do and take twice the time to do it...who are satisfied with minimal accomplishments that take minimal effort...

Parents can set such expectations for their children so long as they are not so far beyond them as to induce numbing frustration...the job of parents is identifying children's abilities and proclivities within their "zone of proximate development" so that many successes can be achieved within their foreseeable future, and celebrated often.

Good luck...

 

[dnewton3]

All good points, but everyone has missed the single most important thing that any parent ever has to know about teaching a child something ...

TEACH THEM EARLY, BECAUSE BY THE TIME THEY ARE TEENAGERS, THEY KNOW IT ALL AND YOU WILL BE, BY DEFAULT, THE DUMBEST PERSON THEY EVER SPOKE WITH!


When I was a teenager, I though my father was the dullest creature to walk upright on the earth. There was NOTHING he could teach me that I didn't already know or have an opinion about. Then, somehow, I managed to live to age 25 without killing myself and everyone in a fifty yard radius. And I realized my father was not nearly as stupid as I previously thought he was ...

One of my dad's favorite things to do when I became an adult on my own was to visit me at my home. He would leave lights on, leave dishes laying about, leave doors open, slam doors, put empty cartons back in the fridge, leave empty toilet paper rolls on the dispensor, leave the cordless phone handset hidden under couch coushions, leave the TV remote in a different room, etc. Not a stone went unturned for about three months of visits; it was his way of toying with me in a jesting sort of way. His point was well taken!

Kids absorb stuff early, but then shut you out soon after. If you don't get it in early, it won't get in at all! Trying to teach a teen anything is like trying to make a cat like cold bathwater.

Love your kids. Teach your kids. Do not be their friend; be their parent!


Life comes full circle. I cannot wait for the day I get to visit my son at his first appartment!

.