Not sure I should post this, but is public.....my MIL passed away........

Pablo

Pablo

Joined
Oct 28, 2002
Messages
60,708
Location
Everson WA - Pacific NW USA
It's been tough in our house the last little while. My wife is exceedingly strong, and frankly the best person in ALL ways I have ever known.

Her mom was very very interesting. A great lady. But sadly the last 10+ years her mind was not there. My wife did everything for her. Absolutely selflessly. Driving 100 miles one way to see her, once then twice a week.

We are doing OK. For me, providing support in only my naive clunky way. But also learning and seeing the death process. And everything after.
 
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Pablo said:
It's been tough in our house the last little while. My wife is exceedingly strong, and frankly the best person in ALL ways I have ever known.

Her mom was very very interesting. A great lady. But sadly the last 10+ years her mind was not there. My wife did everything for her. Absolutely selflessly. Driving 100 miles one way to see her, once then twice a week.

We are doing OK. For me, providing support in only my naive clunky way. But also learning and seeing the death process. And everything after.
Click to expand...
Although I feel the love emoji is a bit hokey in this respect I will convey it as much needed love & respect. :love:

I too lost someone to the disease, my grandmother on my father's side. (Nana) she was my rock growing up only surpassed by my maternal grandfather.

The older I got the more I appreciated her non-judgemental attitude about all things. During her final years my cousin & myself took care of her as unfortunately her children weren't the best at it and it was legally written as we were her guardians. She died peacefully in her sleep one night in her memory care facility. I knew it was coming but my cousin(s) took it harder. She was preceded in death by her daughter & husband, the latter who died when I was only 5 out on the golf course which is ironically how he told her it would happen.

www.trexlerfuneralhome.com

Margaret R. Heckman - View Obituary & Service Information

Share Memories and Support the Family.
www.trexlerfuneralhome.com
 
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You and your wife take care, Pablo. I was with my mother when she looked me in the eye (literally) and took her last breath. My father refused to pass with me there, instead taking his last breath with my wife Sue.

I'm an only child and have felt like an orphan ever since their passing.

Even though it felt like I had to mediate their difficult 59 year marriage at times, I now miss the days of their verbal sparring. Both my parents were highly intelligent college graduates, which was unusual for that generation. I think this was a big factor for the contempt they had for each other. At the time it wasn't funny to be around, but with them gone I find myself kind of missing it.

Scott
 
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I lost my father when I was 21 (he was 47) and my sister when she was 44. My wife was with me for both and she was great with supporting me. Her best friend in college passed away running on the treadmill from an undiagnosed arrhythmia. My first practice was in Newtown, CT and we attended 8 funerals of patients after Sandy Hook. She was always so strong and supportive. A few years ago her father developed a cough and 6 months later was gone from lung cancer having never smoked and having been in excellent health. She was not ok for close to year, and I had up until then and have since then, never seen her like that. She doesn't get depressed and she doesn't ever look for pity and she was always the one offering me support but there she was and it was difficult to not be able to "fix it". All I could do was be supportive and try and help shepherd her through the grieving process in my own clunky way and eventually, she found her way through. Best wishes to you and your family.
 
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slo town said:
You and your wife take care, Pablo. I was with my mother when she looked me in the eye (literally) and took her last breath. My father refused to pass with me there, instead taking his last breath with my wife Sue.

I'm an only child and have felt like an orphan ever since their passing. Even though it felt like I had to mediate their difficult 59 year marriage at times, I now miss the days of their verbal sparring. Both my parents were unusually intelligent college graduates, which was unusual for that generation. I think this was a big factor for the contempt they had for each other. Ha....ha....

Scott
Click to expand...
1) That is very interesting. I never thought of this until her passing. She hung on with us there. We left for a bit, then went to heaven. We both knew this is the way she was, but of course don't think that way when we were sitting there.

2) My wife and sibling said something similar. I had not thought about that as both my parents are on this side of the grass.
 
Thermo1223 said:
Although I feel the love emoji is a bit hokey in this respect I will convey it as much needed love & respect. :love:

I too lost someone to the disease, my grandmother on my father's side. (Nana) she was my rock growing up only surpassed by my maternal grandfather.

The older I got the more I appreciated her non-judgemental attitude about all things. During her final years my cousin & myself took care of her as unfortunately her children weren't the best at it and it was legally written as we were her guardians. She died peacefully in her sleep one night in her memory care facility. I knew it was coming but my cousin(s) took it harder. She was preceded in death by her daughter & husband, the latter who died when I was only 5 out on the golf course which is ironically how he told her it would happen.

www.trexlerfuneralhome.com

Margaret R. Heckman - View Obituary & Service Information

Share Memories and Support the Family.
www.trexlerfuneralhome.com
Click to expand...
No worries at all.

Before the "obvious" decline, we did notice her judgement was not even close to what it was before. She bought a house in New Mexico and time share in Las Vegas without telling anyone. Not like her. The house was sold, the time share - those things. What a waste.
 
Pablo said:
It's been tough in our house the last little while. My wife is exceedingly strong, and frankly the best person in ALL ways I have ever known.

Her mom was very very interesting. A great lady. But sadly the last 10+ years her mind was not there. My wife did everything for her. Absolutely selflessly. Driving 100 miles one way to see her, once then twice a week.

We are doing OK. For me, providing support in only my naive clunky way. But also learning and seeing the death process. And everything after.
Click to expand...
Thinking of you. It seems like all is well than boom it's now not. My grandfather was sharp as all get out on his 90th birthday in 2018. He was two weeks shy of his 93rd in 2021 and had alzheimer's.
 
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