Need legal advice.
- Thread starter GreeCguy
- Start date
- Status
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
On my end, I spoke with a lawyer today who informed me what they are doing constitutes identity theft since they have the "strong box" containing his personal information.
Um, not even close. I would question that lawyers "advice" from this point forward. How does him simply leaving his SS card and financial documents there constitute identity theft? Have they actually stolen his identity and opened accounts in his name?
If I was him, he needs to contact the 3 credit bureaus and place a hold on any new credit accounts. Put a password on his account so that only he can open new lines of credit. MUCH easier to do this now than try to fix a huge mess down the road. He can always cancel the hold and password later on down the road.
By the way, where is "Elderly County, FL"?
There are two sides of every story. For them to act this way, their must have been a serious falling out between your son and their daughter, which doesn't really concern you. If they liked your son and got along with him they wouldn't act this way. Maybe she got pregnant and he left her or he cheated on her, or stole money/items from them when he lived there or some other such mess?
Have a serious talk with junior and have him come clean as to why they don't like him any more. Nothing less than the truth from him would be inexcusable, especially with him asking for your assistance.
On my end, I spoke with a lawyer today who informed me what they are doing constitutes identity theft since they have the "strong box" containing his personal information.
Um, not even close. I would question that lawyers "advice" from this point forward. How does him simply leaving his SS card and financial documents there constitute identity theft? Have they actually stolen his identity and opened accounts in his name?
If I was him, he needs to contact the 3 credit bureaus and place a hold on any new credit accounts. Put a password on his account so that only he can open new lines of credit. MUCH easier to do this now than try to fix a huge mess down the road. He can always cancel the hold and password later on down the road.
By the way, where is "Elderly County, FL"?
There are two sides of every story. For them to act this way, their must have been a serious falling out between your son and their daughter, which doesn't really concern you. If they liked your son and got along with him they wouldn't act this way. Maybe she got pregnant and he left her or he cheated on her, or stole money/items from them when he lived there or some other such mess?
Have a serious talk with junior and have him come clean as to why they don't like him any more. Nothing less than the truth from him would be inexcusable, especially with him asking for your assistance.
Originally Posted By: bubbatime
There are two sides of every story.
I tend to agree. But again..this is not your (GreeC) problem. Its OK to help your kids but your role as a parent should end..believe me. He should protect his identity as bubba sugested and you should move on in life and so should your son. It seems you have become actively involved in trying to get even as a matter of "principle". Seems like its more than that.
Just my take. Good luck.
There are two sides of every story.
I tend to agree. But again..this is not your (GreeC) problem. Its OK to help your kids but your role as a parent should end..believe me. He should protect his identity as bubba sugested and you should move on in life and so should your son. It seems you have become actively involved in trying to get even as a matter of "principle". Seems like its more than that.
Just my take. Good luck.
As my sister says, there are three sides to every story, your side, my side, and the truth.
In his defense, I will say my son is a very honorable, truthful person. It's simply not in his nature to lie or deceive.
As far as the reason they broke up, his ex was extremely controlling. He finally came to the point he had enough and put an end to the relationship.
Her family has a different worldview than we have in our household. To state it in the simplest of terms, he broke their little girls heart, now they want to "punish" him.
In terms of my legal council, they literally have a metal box that contains all my sons personal information, his "identity", (bank account information, credit card information, social security number, etc.). They have been asked to return it repeatedly. They will not. In the courts, that constitutes theft.
The way it was explained to me was, if you went on vacation and left your car with me to care for with the clear understanding that when you returned, I would give it back and then did not do so, I have in fact, stolen your car.
"Elderly" county is north of Tampa Florida. It's easy to find. Simply drive north on 19 until you see "My first car was a Model T Ford" Parkway. Turn right and continue to "I've fallen and I can't get up" Drive. Look for the blue hair.
In his defense, I will say my son is a very honorable, truthful person. It's simply not in his nature to lie or deceive.
As far as the reason they broke up, his ex was extremely controlling. He finally came to the point he had enough and put an end to the relationship.
Her family has a different worldview than we have in our household. To state it in the simplest of terms, he broke their little girls heart, now they want to "punish" him.
In terms of my legal council, they literally have a metal box that contains all my sons personal information, his "identity", (bank account information, credit card information, social security number, etc.). They have been asked to return it repeatedly. They will not. In the courts, that constitutes theft.
The way it was explained to me was, if you went on vacation and left your car with me to care for with the clear understanding that when you returned, I would give it back and then did not do so, I have in fact, stolen your car.
"Elderly" county is north of Tampa Florida. It's easy to find. Simply drive north on 19 until you see "My first car was a Model T Ford" Parkway. Turn right and continue to "I've fallen and I can't get up" Drive. Look for the blue hair.
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
In terms of my legal council, they literally have a metal box that contains all my sons personal information, his "identity", (bank account information, credit card information, social security number, etc.). They have been asked to return it repeatedly. They will not. In the courts, that constitutes theft.
That would generally be considered theft to most people. It will be impossible to prove though. (What XBox? He never left an XBox here. He took all his stuff with him when he left.)
At this point it's a he said, she said. Also, cops won't take a theft report and will advise you that it's a civil matter. Best course of action is to kill them with kindness and attempt to get a reasonable response from them. Some people you just can't deal with, as you are finding out.
In terms of my legal council, they literally have a metal box that contains all my sons personal information, his "identity", (bank account information, credit card information, social security number, etc.). They have been asked to return it repeatedly. They will not. In the courts, that constitutes theft.
That would generally be considered theft to most people. It will be impossible to prove though. (What XBox? He never left an XBox here. He took all his stuff with him when he left.)
At this point it's a he said, she said. Also, cops won't take a theft report and will advise you that it's a civil matter. Best course of action is to kill them with kindness and attempt to get a reasonable response from them. Some people you just can't deal with, as you are finding out.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2006
- Messages
- 2,326
All parents say that, usually as junior is being escorted to jail.
What if they bleached the clothes, broke the game, and threw out the strongbox? Will you sue them? When does it end?
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
In his defense, I will say my son is a very honorable, truthful person. It's simply not in his nature to lie or deceive.
What if they bleached the clothes, broke the game, and threw out the strongbox? Will you sue them? When does it end?
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
In his defense, I will say my son is a very honorable, truthful person. It's simply not in his nature to lie or deceive.
Yep, this is a civil matter. He is missing his paperwork not his car.
Maybe she is upset he joined the Army and left her for a much better future ?
She was probably expecting to tag along with him.
Maybe she is upset he joined the Army and left her for a much better future ?
She was probably expecting to tag along with him.
Originally Posted By: bubbatime
That would generally be considered theft to most people. It will be impossible to prove though. (What XBox? He never left an XBox here. He took all his stuff with him when he left.)
At this point it's a he said, she said. Also, cops won't take a theft report and will advise you that it's a civil matter. Best course of action is to kill them with kindness and attempt to get a reasonable response from them. Some people you just can't deal with, as you are finding out.
Exactly; I'd get those types of cases in Small Claims Court every so often. We called them "shack-up break-ups." Inevitably the Plaintiff would claim that the Defendant kept/sold/stole/destroyed some of the Plaintiff's property. The Defendant would deny everything(of course); asserting that the property in question was a gift, belonged to the Defendant, or flat didn't exist.
Receipts? None.
Proof? The Plaintiff's buddies would testify against the Defendant and vice-versa. It's difficult for a Plaintiff to prevail under those circumstance...
That would generally be considered theft to most people. It will be impossible to prove though. (What XBox? He never left an XBox here. He took all his stuff with him when he left.)
At this point it's a he said, she said. Also, cops won't take a theft report and will advise you that it's a civil matter. Best course of action is to kill them with kindness and attempt to get a reasonable response from them. Some people you just can't deal with, as you are finding out.
Exactly; I'd get those types of cases in Small Claims Court every so often. We called them "shack-up break-ups." Inevitably the Plaintiff would claim that the Defendant kept/sold/stole/destroyed some of the Plaintiff's property. The Defendant would deny everything(of course); asserting that the property in question was a gift, belonged to the Defendant, or flat didn't exist.
Receipts? None.
Proof? The Plaintiff's buddies would testify against the Defendant and vice-versa. It's difficult for a Plaintiff to prevail under those circumstance...
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
.... They have been asked to return it repeatedly. They will not. In the courts, that constitutes theft. ....
It's not your property. It belongs to someone else.
What legal basis or obligation do these people have to turn over someone else's property (assuming, for the sake of argument, they possess it) to you? Do you hold a written power of attorney or equivalent over your adult child's property, or has he delivered to them written instructions ( aka a license) to deliver his property to you?
Get your house in order before you complain about what they are, or are not, doing.
.... They have been asked to return it repeatedly. They will not. In the courts, that constitutes theft. ....
It's not your property. It belongs to someone else.
What legal basis or obligation do these people have to turn over someone else's property (assuming, for the sake of argument, they possess it) to you? Do you hold a written power of attorney or equivalent over your adult child's property, or has he delivered to them written instructions ( aka a license) to deliver his property to you?
Get your house in order before you complain about what they are, or are not, doing.
Originally Posted By: Win
It's not your property. It belongs to someone else.
What legal basis or obligation do these people have to turn over someone else's property (assuming, for the sake of argument, they possess it) to you? Do you hold a written power of attorney or equivalent over your adult child's property, or has he delivered to them written instructions ( aka a license) to deliver his property to you?
Get your house in order before you complain about what they are, or are not, doing.
Thank you for pointing this out. My new lawyer buddy informed me that at some point in time, we will have to get written permission from my son to pursue this matter, along with a list of items to be reclaimed.
As I stated earlier, I was naïve in this matter, thinking it a simple chore to pick up some belongings which they have in their possession which belong to my son. As my son is on the other side of the country, it's easier for me to drive over there than it is for him to do the job. It never even entered my mind that they would act this way.
But I'm learning.
It's not your property. It belongs to someone else.
What legal basis or obligation do these people have to turn over someone else's property (assuming, for the sake of argument, they possess it) to you? Do you hold a written power of attorney or equivalent over your adult child's property, or has he delivered to them written instructions ( aka a license) to deliver his property to you?
Get your house in order before you complain about what they are, or are not, doing.
Thank you for pointing this out. My new lawyer buddy informed me that at some point in time, we will have to get written permission from my son to pursue this matter, along with a list of items to be reclaimed.
As I stated earlier, I was naïve in this matter, thinking it a simple chore to pick up some belongings which they have in their possession which belong to my son. As my son is on the other side of the country, it's easier for me to drive over there than it is for him to do the job. It never even entered my mind that they would act this way.
But I'm learning.
Update:
Last Friday, sent a polite letter requesting property be returned or legal action would follow.
Received a call Monday from Ex's father. He said "let's not go through all this, we'll ship the property to your house, you should get it in a few days." (Keep in mind, he lives about five miles from my house).
I told him I would be more than happy to drive over and pick the items up and save him the cost of shipping and the trouble of packing every thing, etc. But he was insistent on shipping.
Part of our conversation included questions and statements on my son's gender orientation. Ex's father is convinced that anyone who would break up his daughter must be gay. I didn't take the bait.
It's Saturday morning and I still haven't received anything. I'm thinking one of three things -
1. Even though it's five miles away, if they did in fact, pack and ship my son's stuff, it's down in Tampa somewhere in a warehouse running through the system.
2. They're busy and haven't gotten around to it.
3. They're playing games and have no intention of shipping anything.
With everything we've been through, I'm inclined to pick door number three.
On a happier note, my son called last night and told me out of a class of 134, he is ranking number 2 in test scores. Makes me proud
Last Friday, sent a polite letter requesting property be returned or legal action would follow.
Received a call Monday from Ex's father. He said "let's not go through all this, we'll ship the property to your house, you should get it in a few days." (Keep in mind, he lives about five miles from my house).
I told him I would be more than happy to drive over and pick the items up and save him the cost of shipping and the trouble of packing every thing, etc. But he was insistent on shipping.
Part of our conversation included questions and statements on my son's gender orientation. Ex's father is convinced that anyone who would break up his daughter must be gay. I didn't take the bait.
It's Saturday morning and I still haven't received anything. I'm thinking one of three things -
1. Even though it's five miles away, if they did in fact, pack and ship my son's stuff, it's down in Tampa somewhere in a warehouse running through the system.
2. They're busy and haven't gotten around to it.
3. They're playing games and have no intention of shipping anything.
With everything we've been through, I'm inclined to pick door number three.
On a happier note, my son called last night and told me out of a class of 134, he is ranking number 2 in test scores. Makes me proud
4. They want you to get tired of waiting and you show up so they can kick your [censored].
Be careful as they might want to bait you to show up at their house. Good thing your son is doing well and Faaaaaaar away from these idiots.
Be careful as they might want to bait you to show up at their house. Good thing your son is doing well and Faaaaaaar away from these idiots.
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
Update:
Last Friday, sent a polite letter requesting property be returned or legal action would follow.
Received a call Monday from Ex's father. He said "let's not go through all this, we'll ship the property to your house, you should get it in a few days." (Keep in mind, he lives about five miles from my house).
I told him I would be more than happy to drive over and pick the items up and save him the cost of shipping and the trouble of packing every thing, etc. But he was insistent on shipping.
Part of our conversation included questions and statements on my son's gender orientation. Ex's father is convinced that anyone who would break up his daughter must be gay. I didn't take the bait.
It's Saturday morning and I still haven't received anything. I'm thinking one of three things -
1. Even though it's five miles away, if they did in fact, pack and ship my son's stuff, it's down in Tampa somewhere in a warehouse running through the system.
2. They're busy and haven't gotten around to it.
3. They're playing games and have no intention of shipping anything.
With everything we've been through, I'm inclined to pick door number three.
On a happier note, my son called last night and told me out of a class of 134, he is ranking number 2 in test scores. Makes me proud
Don't go there, avoid them,
if they can do this, they are CAPABLE of doing worse.
Follow-up with another letter and detail in it what was agreed upon. Ask for an inventory of items being sent and request a tracking #.
Once again give them a timeline or legal action.
You are doing the right thing for your son as any responsible parent would do. What is unfortunate is the attitude of his ex/parents. Your son is not alone, there is a industry out there of vile patriotic citizens who do their best to take advantage our deployed men/women.
Update:
Last Friday, sent a polite letter requesting property be returned or legal action would follow.
Received a call Monday from Ex's father. He said "let's not go through all this, we'll ship the property to your house, you should get it in a few days." (Keep in mind, he lives about five miles from my house).
I told him I would be more than happy to drive over and pick the items up and save him the cost of shipping and the trouble of packing every thing, etc. But he was insistent on shipping.
Part of our conversation included questions and statements on my son's gender orientation. Ex's father is convinced that anyone who would break up his daughter must be gay. I didn't take the bait.
It's Saturday morning and I still haven't received anything. I'm thinking one of three things -
1. Even though it's five miles away, if they did in fact, pack and ship my son's stuff, it's down in Tampa somewhere in a warehouse running through the system.
2. They're busy and haven't gotten around to it.
3. They're playing games and have no intention of shipping anything.
With everything we've been through, I'm inclined to pick door number three.
On a happier note, my son called last night and told me out of a class of 134, he is ranking number 2 in test scores. Makes me proud
Don't go there, avoid them,
if they can do this, they are CAPABLE of doing worse.
Follow-up with another letter and detail in it what was agreed upon. Ask for an inventory of items being sent and request a tracking #.
Once again give them a timeline or legal action.
You are doing the right thing for your son as any responsible parent would do. What is unfortunate is the attitude of his ex/parents. Your son is not alone, there is a industry out there of vile patriotic citizens who do their best to take advantage our deployed men/women.
Personally I think you should have just let the lawyer type up the free letter on company letterhead as the first option. Would have shown your serious intent right upfront. People love to throw around the "I'll get a lawyer" line all the time but you would have shown you've already consulted one and your not just using a scare tactic threat.
Will still be a good second option though as a follow up to your threat of legal action.
At least you got them to finally contact you, it's a start. Good luck and good job to your son.
Will still be a good second option though as a follow up to your threat of legal action.
At least you got them to finally contact you, it's a start. Good luck and good job to your son.
Last edited:
Final update:
We came home from Church today to find a HUGE pile of plastic trash bags and boxes at the front door of our house.
Upon opening said boxes and bags, we found it was my son's stuff along with boxes of pictures and other items from when they were dating, (i.e. letters, little stuffed animals he had bought her while they were dating, etc.), as well as a large paper grocery bag containing all the letters they had written each other over the two years they were dating, (most of which were written during his time in basic training). "X" box was included in the pile.
No, they weren't "shipped" but my guess being Ex's Papa delivered them today knowing we go to Church every Sunday morning.
The only thing missing was the "strong box" with my son's banking and personal info. He has already changed bank accounts and even went to the point of having them "flagged" for any unusual activity.
So it seems this little drama comes to a close - unless they decide to patch things up and get back together - egads!!!!
Thanks to everyone for the advice, support, wisdom and encouragement - it was definitely a learning experience.
We came home from Church today to find a HUGE pile of plastic trash bags and boxes at the front door of our house.
Upon opening said boxes and bags, we found it was my son's stuff along with boxes of pictures and other items from when they were dating, (i.e. letters, little stuffed animals he had bought her while they were dating, etc.), as well as a large paper grocery bag containing all the letters they had written each other over the two years they were dating, (most of which were written during his time in basic training). "X" box was included in the pile.
No, they weren't "shipped" but my guess being Ex's Papa delivered them today knowing we go to Church every Sunday morning.
The only thing missing was the "strong box" with my son's banking and personal info. He has already changed bank accounts and even went to the point of having them "flagged" for any unusual activity.
So it seems this little drama comes to a close - unless they decide to patch things up and get back together - egads!!!!
Thanks to everyone for the advice, support, wisdom and encouragement - it was definitely a learning experience.
Peace in The Valley, Amen
Originally Posted By: stockrex
Originally Posted By: spasm3
I can see your point, but is it about principle or do you just want to "win"? Above seem like reasonable measures, and with the registered letter and first class letter, any future identity issues could possibly be attributed to them. Don't let it become and obsession and at some point cancel accounts, report to financial institutions that his data may been compromised and drop it. You might report the x box stolen, in case it ever shows up in a pawn shop.
Also consider if they know you well and your interest in this site, via your son, they could very well be reading these posts.
x2, but I say take them to civil court and post the video online, social justice...
I would call and leave a message thanking them for the items received and indicate the strong box is missing and request it.
Follow-up with a letter with the same pls.
Originally Posted By: spasm3
I can see your point, but is it about principle or do you just want to "win"? Above seem like reasonable measures, and with the registered letter and first class letter, any future identity issues could possibly be attributed to them. Don't let it become and obsession and at some point cancel accounts, report to financial institutions that his data may been compromised and drop it. You might report the x box stolen, in case it ever shows up in a pawn shop.
Also consider if they know you well and your interest in this site, via your son, they could very well be reading these posts.
x2, but I say take them to civil court and post the video online, social justice...
I would call and leave a message thanking them for the items received and indicate the strong box is missing and request it.
Follow-up with a letter with the same pls.
- Status
