If World War One was a bar fight....

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Hopefully not a repost. Read it on another forum and thought it was pretty humurous.

If World War One was a bar Fight...

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.
Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
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Nice.
 
Originally Posted By: PandaBear
I still have no idea what the heck WWI is about, and how reckless it ends up being.

Pretty sure no one did at the time, either.
 
Why don't people make similar jokes about WW-II? Too soon?

So, then Germany gets up and builds itself up and decides "never again!" and blows up the bar :-)

- Vikas
 
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: Vikas
Why don't people make similar jokes about WW-II? Too soon?

Well, lots of jokes are made about parts of the war or the parties involved. The war as a whole doesn't get made fun of because it's not particularly absurd (at least relative to other wars).


Originally Posted By: Vikas
So, then Germany gets up and builds itself up and decides "never again!" and blows up the bar :-)

I was thinking pretty much the same thing, lol...
 
My wife is very much in to WW-II and I have to watch zillions of WW-II movies. It is frightening to see how bad things can get and how long they can go on. Years of preparation for invasion is something that I just can not imagine in today's culture. We are instant gratification society. WW-III would blow up entire continents in mere seconds.

Well, North and South Korea are at it again; I wonder where that will lead :-(

- Vikas
 
We are in Cold War II, no one wants an intentional long duration war because look at how much it cost. N Korea is actually surprisingly rational as they are merely trying to get attention and bail out. They know even China wouldn't tolerate them invading south.

The nut jobs in Iran and Pakistan is another story. You cannot knock rationalities into religious nut jobs, and when they feel like they have an obligations, you can't compromise with them.

Divide and conquer would be the only good strategy, make them focus on fighting against each other can get you off the cross hair.
 
Originally Posted By: Firehawk409
Hopefully not a repost. Read it on another forum and thought it was pretty humurous.

If World War One was a bar Fight...

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.




1) That is a political post.

2) Funny and some is true.


Serbia didn't spill Austria's drink, Gavrilo Princip shot the Archduke Ferdinand. It is interesting that after WWI, Princip was a hero. During WWII he was a murderer. During the era of communist control he was once again a hero. After the Berlin wall came down, he is now once again a murderer and not a hero.


Quote:
America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.



That part seems to be spot-on. Modus operandi
 
This is not a political post and i did not intend for it to be. I read it and thought it was funny as in sitting back imagining that everyone was actually in a bar. I mean im sure you all have been in a bar and seen things escalate very fast over something very small.


Speaking of WW1 and 2 I recall back in school we covered 2 way more then 1. I also remember watching alot more TV/history shows about 2 then 1. Not sure why thats the case.
 
Originally Posted By: Firehawk409
Speaking of WW1 and 2 I recall back in school we covered 2 way more then 1. I also remember watching alot more TV/history shows about 2 then 1. Not sure why thats the case.

My guess: WWII was far more instructive, less pointless, and more complex.
 
Reason could that there is lots of news footage available for the WW2 as compared to WW1 and as you all know, we are the MEDIA generation :-)
 
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