Hypergamy. Chris Rock (Comedian) was joking around about dating in his 40's-50's. He joked that women in his age group were looking for someone to pay for a new roof on their house.
I am getting divorce
- Thread starter PandaBear
- Start date
Man I am tempted to comment. But I just said I wouldn't. Dang it!!
That's what you call a PM, Pablo!
How sure are you about this? lots of guys go into a divorce thinking they have this handled and find out they are way wrong.
Have you seen the computation from the dissomaster yet that tells you who pays what and for how long?
Good luck Panda. There are no promises; seems like nothing is forever. Life is funny like that.
Based on what my lawyer told me and how the numbers come out, I'm actually going to GAIN something after the divorce. She's not a housewife and I no longer need to help out with her parents. We make close enough to call it a wash and I no longer need to finance some of her bad habits like vacations and request to this and that.
For everyone, it is the friend you should marry, not just a lover. You did things together, fishing, you probably talked about everything. I say go after her now.
I would probably look like their kids in this age group (yes I look young). Maybe in 15 years I'd consider that group but not at the moment.
Glad it worked out and hope the judge agrees.
Guys tell me all the time in after being married for 20 years they never met the woman they met in court.
That strong independent woman that doesn't need anyone can instantaneously turn into the broke, helpless, homeless, abandoned, starving person needing your house, life savings, AND future income.
I had a prenup - there was a failed attempt to break it.
I don't think prenup would work either. The only way it would work is on par income between the 2, showing that you can have joint custody maturely, and a good relationship with the kids.
I think this is the main reason I would probably want to stay single in the future as well, and not wanting to date until my kids are grown up. I'm ok dealing with this for myself but not do this to my kids.
Sounds like you are committed, but this is absolutely never the case. Just realize that no matter what this decision affects the kids.
You will have to make some decisions, set priorities, and make some changes. While I never got a divorce my wife died in an accident in 2013. Our son was 12 at the time. I raised him with some help from others. He spent a good amount of time with his grandparents who luckily lived nearby and I hired a helper for the house who would take care of some of the shopping, and cleaning, allowing me more time to spend with my son. Until that point, my job had involved a good amount of travel. Sometimes I would be away from home for a couple of weeks. I made changes and started working one day, and later two days less per week and I didn't have to travel as much any longer. Over the following years, I had a few lady friends but I did not involve them in my personal life by bringing them home. When my son was 15 he casually mentioned I should be dating but I think this was his way of telling me he had a girlfriend. I officially started dating only once my son had gone off to college and I got married again last year. My son refers to his stepmom as his "bigger sister." He is 22 and she looks not much older. She's over 30, I swear!
Keep the kids away from your dates until it is really a serious relationship, 1 year +. I used Match when I was single and found my wife there. Bumble is what one of my kids used, women initiate the contact. Be patient and good luck.
I wish you the best. I'm sorry for your loss even if it's for the best.
This may turn out to be harder on your kids than you anticipate. Watch out for the quiet one who is bottling things up inside. Absolutely and repeatedly let them know that nothing is their fault. Try not to be negative about their mother, either.
Also, watch out for the sneaky divorce lawyer tricks from her side. I have some friends that tell some real horror stories. They went into court thinking things were all figured out, expecting an amicable settlement only to be caught completely unprepared and walking out nearly ruined.
This may turn out to be harder on your kids than you anticipate. Watch out for the quiet one who is bottling things up inside. Absolutely and repeatedly let them know that nothing is their fault. Try not to be negative about their mother, either.
Also, watch out for the sneaky divorce lawyer tricks from her side. I have some friends that tell some real horror stories. They went into court thinking things were all figured out, expecting an amicable settlement only to be caught completely unprepared and walking out nearly ruined.
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if its an amicable divorce and no cheating or stuff involved, my experience with friends that have been through this is it works out most of the time . Especially since you two don't need to rely on each other financially .
never use the kids as pawns, don't bad mouth the ex in front of others and the kids .
never use the kids as pawns, don't bad mouth the ex in front of others and the kids .
I have a few buddies who got divorced in their late 40's, early 50's...most were so burned out on relationships with women that they chose not to date..and a few still haven't after 5-10 years. Can't really blame them...I couldn't imagine trying to date after all these years. ..and who wants to date a woman our own age? haha..
We work well as coparents. There are problems and I'll stop right there but it is obviously not a perfect situation. I have consulted psychologist on how to work with the situation and this generation of kids, with so many divorced parents, seem to take things ok if the parents are respectful to each other and mature.
I think I remember some forms in California on how the parents can file to force the others on NOT trash talking their exs. I don't think I will do that, but if my ex do that there're things a court can force her not to do. I'll also have my lawyer to remind her and her lawyer not to do that.
i used to do a sport with a guy i met from it. i did not know him except from the sport. he was going through a divorce and every time i saw him he would bad mouth his ex wife. not just to me but to others on the team. seeing i never even met his ex wife i lost respect for him . there are always 2 sides to every story and the way he bad mouthed her was a shame.
aince you two seem to have housing and finances sorted out, you jsut go your own way and try to respect each other for the childrens sake. i know plenty of divorced folks that even hang out with their ex and new other. they even go vacation together . LOL
old chinese saying. "you can be the best of friends, but you can't live together" .
aince you two seem to have housing and finances sorted out, you jsut go your own way and try to respect each other for the childrens sake. i know plenty of divorced folks that even hang out with their ex and new other. they even go vacation together . LOL
old chinese saying. "you can be the best of friends, but you can't live together" .
How old are the kids?
