Well, Gents, this has been enlightening and confirms my thoughts.
The ATF temp/failure charts are not valid in today's world. They need to be relegated to 'urban legend' status. The 'scare' stories may have been true 40 years ago but don't hold up in the light of today's technology.
Transmissions & ATFs are far better engineered to withstand high heat found in today's applications. Things are so good that you can run the [censored] out of them provided you perform the recommended ATF service intervals.
Time at temperature is important. 'Instantaneous high temperatures' are meaningless. The ATF is there to take the heat away (just like the coolant in the engine); be cooled; and recycled to cool again, and again, and again.
The best indicator of fluid temperature is a measurement in the sump as it best represents the 'average operating temperature' of the fluid. The idea of measuring temperatures is to look for 'trends' not absolutes.
In-radiator heat exchangers do a wonderful job at keeping ATF fluids in an temperature range of around 200 to 220F. Or, about the temperature of full open coolant thermostat on a working engine.
If you are going to add a supplemental cooler do so to increase the heat rejection during low speed, heavy load operations. Or, to increase the heat rejection when coming to a crawl, or stop, after a hard pull or high speed run.
Too cool is not good. If you add supplementary cooling, get a cooler with a thermostat to control the flow through the heat exchanger.