Friend has trouble telling female friend the truth

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At her age she can definitely still have kids. My next door neighbor's daughter had a perfectly healthy baby at 40.

I'm guessing she's just friendly and outgoing. She may just be very extroverted and friendly. Women quite often will call you baby,sweetie,hug you,be flirtatious,etc. I think some chicks are just like that.

If he wants kids,imo he should stick to someone close to his own age. He doesn't wanna end up being some young chick's sugar daddy or surrogate daddy to a chick that has daddy issues. If in fact she's interested in him I think he's a lucky dude! As I prefer older woman to young immature ones. What's gonna happen if he gets mixed up with a 20something,she's gonna want to go out and "party" with her young friends 24/7.
 
Surrogate...

They're not dating so he does not have to tell her anything.

Saying it's because she is too old to have kids is a **** move, you don't turn someone down while insulting and potentially depressing them.


I'm 29 in a 6 year relationship, I don't even have a desire for a goldfish.
 
I think everyone knows biologically they can still have kids. I am just saying at this point in their lives they are pretty much working for retirement. I just can't see waiting that long to have them.

I work with two people who had kids in their 40's they can't retire because the kids are still in the house. One in High School and one in College. My youngest will be 18 when I am 52 should be done with school by the time I am ready to retire.

Adoption is not easy. We adopted our youngest. If you are looking to adopt out of foster care, it takes dedication, tons of love and being able to deal with disappointment. It is not easy as or cheap as the main the goal is to reunite the child with family.
 
Some men want the milk for free and not have to buy the cow...

This guy doesn't use women but never met one that he was crazy about, maybe divorced friends / family cause some people to not rush into relationships. Why be in a loveless marriage?

I told him to be friendly and not hurt her feelings.
 
They should get together. She probably wants kids too but doesn't want to scare him off. They should talk about such stuff openly. They could even have relations out of marriage and propose if she gets pregnant. That way the pressure would be less.
 
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
A guy I know has a problem. His female friend wants to date him but she is too old to have kids.

The guy has no kids and would like to have children. How does he let her know that her age (42) is the reason why he won't have a relationship with her without hurting her feelings ?

At this point they are just good friends.



Your friend needs to tell the truth. Straight up.

And I've heard of women having children in their late 30s-early 40s.
 
At her age you need to consider Downs as a possibility. You both better be on the same page of what you will do if that occurs.
 
Why not just see if their relationship pans out first, then go from there?

Like said, 40-45 isn't impossible or overly rare to have kids, but adoption might be the better option.

FWIW, my wife and I had our first child at 31 and our fourth at 41. I'll be working till noon on the day of my funeral and it's not easy, but I don't regret it a bit.

I'm not surprised some of the grumpy B's on this site do though.
 
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: Al
At her age you need to consider Downs as a possibility. You both better be on the same page of what you will do if that occurs.


^ this.
 
She's 42. She probably just wants to have some fun. Tell your buddy to chill out and go out with her. Fun might be had by all.
 
Originally Posted By: Blkstanger
She's 42. She probably just wants to have some fun. Tell your buddy to chill out and go out with her. Fun might be had by all.


Ed Zachary!

overthinking things never results in good results. Go out and have some fun. Who knows where things will go
 
From your various posts, this woman clearly has the idea that your friend and her are more than just work friends.
I can tell you from personal experience that it's really easy to have a woman at work develop a serious emotional attachment when all one intends is friendship.
He needs to have an honest talk with this woman.
Maybe buy her a dinner and have a serious, but kind talk with her.
The alternative is to do nothing and to simply assume that you can continue as close friends.
I can tell you from the personal experience I noted above that disaster lies that way.
There is an old saying that [censored] hath no fury like a woman scorned.
I can relate that this is perfectly accurate and when, not if, this emotionally invested woman feels that she's been scorned, she will do everything she can to make your friend's work life a living [censored] and this will go on for an extended period of time.
Trust me, it won't be pleasant or easy for your friend.
My wife warned me that the woman in question was going to be trouble and I assured her that wasn't the case.
My wife was right, but then, being a woman, she had a level of insight that I lacked.
Good luck to your friend. I think he'll need it.
 
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
They are not dating, just friends.

She is very friendly towards him, always saying "Don't be a stranger" at the end of every conversation in the hallway at work.


Maybe someone else has already mentioned this, but it seems the unmentioned risk is the workplace romance.

That's trouble with a capital T.

Maybe he could just say he's not comfortable dating co-workers?
 
I like the fun idea, it might be just that...but you know what they say about the company ink...don't dip your pen in it.
smile.gif
 
Originally Posted By: Brybo86
there is a reason he is 38 and not married...... BING HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!!!!!!!!


Lots of crazy women out there, lots of them have problems. You don't want a basket case. Have you seen the movie Fatal Attraction when he no longer wants to see her and she goes psycho on him ?

fdgc27,
I agree with telling her you don't like to date women at work due to the gossip from coworkers.
 
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