Friend has trouble telling female friend the truth

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Mr Nice

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A guy I know has a problem. His female friend wants to date him but she is too old to have kids.

The guy has no kids and would like to have children. How does he let her know that her age (42) is the reason why he won't have a relationship with her without hurting her feelings ?

At this point they are just good friends.
 
Originally Posted By: KGMtech
How old is he?

Sometimes the raising kids thing is over-rated...just sayin..
Yeah I'm 21 and don't think I ever want kids, if he's near her age he's a little too old to be having kids too. I wouldn't want to be an old man with teenage kids and then be too old to enjoy having grand kids.
 
Probably best to tell her. Yes, it will hurt at first but at least she can move on to someone else. Normal, attractive women have a much easier time attracting the opposite sex. She should have ten guys lined up if she has it together.

I remember I asked a girl for her number and her reply was, "no". No excuse like a boyfriend etc. It was kind of refreshing and I respected her for it.
 
If he really wants kids and she can't provide them (don't want to adopt?) he should tell her right away. The relationship can't function properly unless there is good honest communication.
 
He has to be clear in communicating this to the lady before she becomes obsessed. To many times the wrong message is sent and these things can end up in a mess.
 
Tell your friend that honesty is always the best policy; honesty is something that can be respected. Adoption is always out there. There is a somewhat old fashioned counseling technique called - Good-Bad-Good. Talk about all of the positive that these folks have, then the wants...children; then reinforce with a positive future and friendship. Tell your friend to be tactful and considerate; like he would want to be treated during something like this. It will sting a bit no matter how it is communicated, but there could be a strong friendship bond that comes out of this. If she never speaks to him again, then maybe there were other things in the mix he did not know about. Just my 2 cents.
 
Originally Posted By: KGMtech


Sometimes the raising kids thing is over-rated...just sayin..


Great advice for someone you don't know a thing about.

So you have children and wish you didn't? Sad


Mr. Nice, it sounds like you friend is making an assumption that the lady wants to get serious? There's probably no good way say no thanks and not damage the relationship he has with her now. Probably best to take a man pill and tell her straight up he's just not interested in a romantic relationship and see what happens.
 
He could marry a 25 year old woman and come to find out she (or he!) can't have kids anyway. There's always adoption.
 
They are not dating, just friends.

She is very friendly towards him, always saying "Don't be a stranger" at the end of every conversation in the hallway at work.
 
Tell him to be wary of those type personalities. She may try to wear him down until he gives in.

Once again he has to be clear in communicating to her that friends/acquaintance is all he wants to be.
 
42 is still in range, happens, he needs to speed up the process, find out if she really can, if not, then tell her and leave. If she produces children, then he can stay with her. Mainly, get to work. hahahahaha

That was pretty bad.
 
Originally Posted By: AZjeff
Originally Posted By: KGMtech


Sometimes the raising kids thing is over-rated...just sayin..


Great advice for someone you don't know a thing about.

So you have children and wish you didn't? Sad




Nice preaching, really constructive addition to the thread.

I have 2 kids, not all of it was awesome, but most has been pretty darn good. Having made the commitment to them, I can tell you and others that it should not be a societal expectation that EVERONE have kids. For some it is a bad decision all around.

However, you go on and enjoy your view from atop your soapbox.
 
Are you positive she wants to be more than friends? Not just being flirty, or ... just friendly?
 
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