Farm Kid, now in boot camp...

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FARM KID (NOW IN BOOT CAMP)

Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the
Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick
before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6
a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you
do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to
slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically
nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon ,
etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie
and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the
two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until
noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk
much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long
walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is
like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They
don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting
medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a
chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett
boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You
don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to
wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break
real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.
I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in
Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but
I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other
fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice
 
lol.gif
nice
 
After my wife read this, she says Alice sounds similar to a recruit who went through basic training with her at Ft. Jackson, SC, in the 1980's. This "Alice" was very athletic, and the best runner in their company. When asked why she was so fast, she replied that she ran down to the mailbox every day. About three miles round trip, she said.
 
The version I remember has her in the Marines and she says something like "The Drill Instructor is like old man Minch at the general store, he nags some." That line made me chuckle.
Always funny.
 
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