Commercial car washes, especially the touchless types, use much stronger detergents than you would at home. This is because the average consumer wants their car somewhat clean, and the detergent strength must be stronger to achieve this with somewhat decent results without physically wiping the surface. Also, most people allow their cars to get very dirty before washing, thus another reason for the increased detergent strength. I have personally noticed the touchless washes strip any protectant I have put on my car, from Meguiar's #16 (very durable carnauba), #20, NXT, and Four Star Ultimate Paint Protection. It is readily apparent on my black plastic mirror housings, which lose all of their shine after a touchless wash.
I only use a touchless wash in the winter if really needed and it's too cold to do by hand. I have been using Protect All's QEW lately because of the heat here (to avoid water spots), and will use it this winter with warm water. It's a really neat and effective product, and only uses 1 gallon of water per wash (no rinsing, just wipe dry).
Dave