Originally Posted By: callbay
I have just learned today that I will get screwed anyway, even with the prenup.
How did the prenup not work? Got any advise for others how to do the prenuptial so it will work for sure?
Thanks and I hope it will get better for you!
OK, I will try to explain:
When we met she did not have a lot of money (got divorced once and then met a [censored] who push her into bankruptcy. Of course, no help for her parents who are more interested in looking after their navel than their children and grandchildren (they have even stolen money from them)).
On my part, being single for a long time, helped by my parents to start my professional without debts, and being frugal all my life, I was quite wealthy.
When we decided to get married, we both recognized the situation but still, since we wanted to share (what is the point of getting married otherwise), we decided on a prenup agreement recognizing both our financial situations.
Of course, as we get married, I put all my effort and wealth for anyone (her, her two daughters and me) to get a nice house and be happy, so I pay almost entirely for the down-payment of the house.
As we got about the same salary, we contribute equally to the household, sharing every nickel.
4 years later, now that we are separating, we BOTH agreed, that it would be fare to still take in account that I put more money at the beginning and keep that in mind in the calculation to determine who gets what.
But I learned yesterday, that whatever we decide, even if SHE agrees with this, a judge can still puts his nose in our business and decide unilaterally to split the wealth equally, discarding at the same time the prenup and our mutual arrangement, even against HER will. As soon as you invest financially in the marriage, YOUR money becomes OUR money, even if it was stated in the prenup that was YOUR money.
As an example, at her first divorce, she did not want squad about her ex husband, she just wanted to leave, but a judge forced HER to get a monthly allocation from her husband (And this [censored] was proud to show the world that he supported his ex wife: He forced her into the divorce and gave her $6 a month!!).
So, from what I get from that experience:
- Never married someone who is poorer than you, always someone who has about the same amount of money, or even better, richer than you (ex.: Kevin Federline).
- If you really want to marry someone who is poorer than you, don't put any more money in your marriage than your wife can match, therefore live poorly with your big bag of cash in the bank. Question is then: What is the point of getting married in the first place if you don't want to contribute to your happiness?
Last thing, I don't know if this is the case also in the US but, in Quebec, after you lived more than one year with someone else under the same roof, for the society you are considered the same as married (de facto spouse and husband?), therefore, you will share all you got equally in case of separation.
Thankfully, I got married so I got a prenup which, I hope, will help me fight to keep what I can. Thankfully too, my future ex wife is more on my side than the law, she is a fair lady, lucky me, but to what level is let to be seen.
Next fight on Monday.
