When i was in this position, I did not see a clear choice to victory. Reading the original post, I get where the OP is coming from - every model has its problems, and the prices of vehicles makes you want to see this as the “lifetime” vehicle that you can count on for the next 15 years, so it’s got to be perfect. But none are, and you’re left trying to find the optimal compromise, which just stinks at this price point.
When I was there, it ended up being a used minivan. Nothing was going to be perfect, so I’m not spending “perfect” money. Not enough ground clearance to get to the trailhead in the full-family hauler? That’s not a weekly occurrence, and that needs to be worked into the equation. Park 1 mile out and ride in - that’s what the MTB is for. … otherwise we are trying to justify the added feature by an additional “do anything” requirement. (Or choose another requirement, maybe you need high ground clearance in the family vehicle weekly, ymmv). But yeah I bought the minivan. And even past the minivan stage now, I sometimes miss it. Truck bed utility with knee-high loading floor, hard to beat. The highlander is probably the closest SUV I’ve experienced to the minivan architecture … and really, if we’re being honest, it’s a minivan with a flat hood….
But - reading all these posts and not being that familiar with the offerings, I’d probably be between the pilot and hearing out @edyvw’s comments. Knock honda for what you will, they are still a solid vehicle. They are known to sacrifice NVH and the interior won’t be as well-sorted as the Palisade. If you think the pilot has vibration, you might double check that you aren’t being too sensitive to the palisade. And - if @edyvw’s experience with the VW (atlas?) is telling, I’m all for a torquey turbo 4 as long as the driveline tuning integrates well (shift dynamics + turbo lag). I’d give the VW a try.
That said, I’m jaded by older VW experiences which were dismal, but those were 20 years ago. If the palisade is ready for a pin-pulled grenade, it might be worth a shot.
I was also going to second the Grand Cherokee L - but to me that manufacturer has been bought and sold so many times I get the sense that the engineering has tenuous pedigree, and what it does have… is tenuous itself. If someone offered me a WK2, I’d love to drive it - but I certainly couldnt chalk it up as a “forever car,” for some reason, mentally. I’ve had 2 older Grand Cherokees - the second one promised more than it delivered, but by all normal measures it was a good vehicle, a good DD.
Give the VW a test drive!