Bachelors - Pressure for marriage

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Relatives might wonder why you are 45 years old with no wife, kids, family, ... etc....
 
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
Originally Posted By: SuzukiGoat
I met my wife when I was in my very early 20s. I was standing in the street, saw her, and knew right then and there I was going to marry her. I broke up with my long term exgf/Fwb of five years two days later. We said goodbye one morning as she was leaving and only I knew it was actually goodbye.

The girl I saw? Turned out to be barely legal...and illegal in the majority of the country actually. Who knew.

Its been quite a few years now, she still drives me absolutely crazy.

Do I miss the single life, I miss turning down a few threesomes between my harem of friends who were girls.

I had more than my share of fun...and there is nothing that could get me to go.back to my lecherous ways.

My wife and I literally do everything together, and haven't spent more than 10 hours apart in the last...five or six years. Crazy considering there is no other person on the planet I can tolerate for more than a few hours.

Ignore the negative nancies, marry smart, marry with the knowledge it will sometimes be work, marry for love, and marry once.


Also if a woman tries to pick out her wedding ring or engagement ring...run for the [censored] hills. If her ring has to cost a certain amount, run.


In short, you're not too old to be single...but trust me, no amount of sluts, drunken adventures, or nights out with the boys can compare at all to just waking up next to that special person.

Call me sappy, when you're as big, gruff, and hairy as I am you get used to saying that you wish.


Whoa, I remember seeing a girl named brandy from louisana. she told me about a five yr relationship went sour, her ex boyfriend dumped her for barely legal 18 yr old girl. She has one 4 yr old son by him at the time. Gosh, this was 1997 or so. She had move out of LA into her parents home in Birmingham, AL where I met her

We need a semi loaded with popcorn :-)
 
Don't let anyone rush you into marriage. Marriage is something you eventually choose to (or not to) do, by your own uncoaxed will.
 
Originally Posted By: Vikas
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
Originally Posted By: SuzukiGoat
I met my wife when I was in my very early 20s. I was standing in the street, saw her, and knew right then and there I was going to marry her. I broke up with my long term exgf/Fwb of five years two days later. We said goodbye one morning as she was leaving and only I knew it was actually goodbye.

The girl I saw? Turned out to be barely legal...and illegal in the majority of the country actually. Who knew.

Its been quite a few years now, she still drives me absolutely crazy.

Do I miss the single life, I miss turning down a few threesomes between my harem of friends who were girls.

I had more than my share of fun...and there is nothing that could get me to go.back to my lecherous ways.

My wife and I literally do everything together, and haven't spent more than 10 hours apart in the last...five or six years. Crazy considering there is no other person on the planet I can tolerate for more than a few hours.

Ignore the negative nancies, marry smart, marry with the knowledge it will sometimes be work, marry for love, and marry once.


Also if a woman tries to pick out her wedding ring or engagement ring...run for the [censored] hills. If her ring has to cost a certain amount, run.


In short, you're not too old to be single...but trust me, no amount of sluts, drunken adventures, or nights out with the boys can compare at all to just waking up next to that special person.

Call me sappy, when you're as big, gruff, and hairy as I am you get used to saying that you wish.


Whoa, I remember seeing a girl named brandy from louisana. she told me about a five yr relationship went sour, her ex boyfriend dumped her for barely legal 18 yr old girl. She has one 4 yr old son by him at the time. Gosh, this was 1997 or so. She had move out of LA into her parents home in Birmingham, AL where I met her

We need a semi loaded with popcorn :-)







No we don't, brandy is too slutty of a name, even in my drunken past lol
 
GMFan,
No time like the present to speak to all the relatives and tell them straight up that you enjoy being single and have chosen to be single for the time being. I wouldn't allow them (no matter how much you may love them) to frequently pester you with repetitive questions that you've already answered....or have you answered? Maybe you need to sit down with them at the next family gathering and ask them to actually listen to you while you tell them your current choice in the matter. Also tell them that they need to respect your privacy. Personally, I would not find it innocent or kindly that they keep asking. It's rude and you shouldn't care one bit if some are looking for grandchildren to dote after. Tell them to get a dog.
The other thing it appears that has been happening to you is the silly guilt thing heaped upon you about being selfish. Firstly, being 'selfish' is a good thing. This word has been contorted and demonized as a negative. The word 'selfish' is defined correctly as..."A concern with ones own interests". Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't say...."To be a nasty person that steals food out of the mouths of children". To have a rational self interest is a very HEALTHY thing. But yes, you will (or have I should say) encounter others who think a moral life is simply one filled with that horrid notion of self-sacrifice at any cost. Ridiculous. If you enjoy being single....then be proud of it. Own it. You are smart in my opinion to avoid serious long term relationships with females at this point. It simply doesn't interest you.....good for you. The various analogy statements you must have read on here vary from common sense...to the almost absurd. But it sounds to me that you know exactly what you are doing at this point. That's better than most folks that aimlessly wander the planet like sheep, dreaming of some unrealistic 'ideal' woman to come along and make everything happy. A bad marriage (especially with kids) is one of the most horrific and emotionally ruinous experiences a person can have.
Enjoy life....guilt free....and with the values YOU see most fitting for yourself. Tell those that need to be told to RESPECT that (in a kind way of course).
 
In this 21st Century, I would recommend against marriage.

I read of horror stories all the time, such as that of Katherine Kieu Becker, who drugged and mutilated her husband, while feminists cheered her conduct and paid all her legal bills, and protested when she was criminally convicted. Read about Jodi Arias, who drove 1000 miles to murder her ex boyfriend, and claimed he "controlled" her. Her supporters raised all kinds of money for her, and set up a Web page to do so.

Things like this have skyrocketed in the past twenty years. Men in this culture are at a disadvantage. They live far shorter life spans, they get fewer scholarships, they are subject to a military draft of the nation is so inclined, they have a higher unemployment rate, they get punished far more severely for the same crimes, they get less public funding for medical issues.

Men get stuck paying for child support that they did not biologically father, get accused of domestic violence and worse falsely, and lose everything they have worked for. Men in this culture get no respect, and get treated very unfairly in divorce court.

A judge can overthrow any prenuptual agreement at will. If you think you need to spend big money on a prenup, you are right, and unless you can afford an attorney who bills $1000.00 per hour, you are wise to not jump onto the punji stakes in the first place.

The rate of marriage in this country is dropping precipitously because of these things. While a good marriage is good, very few turn out that way, and if there is a bad one, you will be in a world of hurt.

There are a lot of forces in society that want you to marry. Traditionalists want you to keep fueling the tax machine. Businesses like jewelers and cosmetic companies want you to keep paying for their products, or providing subsidies for those who do. The war hawks want your kids in case a draft is needed for some war. Feminists hate you, but see men who do not want to marry as a profound threat to their pocketbook.

None of these forces in society give a hoot about your happiness or your peace of mind. They see you as a wage slave, as a Homer Simpson, as a Dilbert who pays the bills but gets no respect.

You had better think twice about it. See the shaming language that such people give you for what it is. They are concerned with their comfort, not with yours. They do not care if you die before your time, or wind up living on the street.

You are also only 26. You can defer this decision easily for 15 years, and I suggest you do so while you study this issue. I suggest you do some Internet searching on this matter.
 
Married to the same beautiful woman for almost 28 years now. Three children, two grandbabies with another one on the way.

The funny thing is, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE told us not to get married when we were dating because in their opinion, it would never work, (even the preacher that married us told us it would never work between us). Both sides of the family disowned both of us for a while, (in fact, her side still doesn't like me all that well), but we've had a wonderful life together. In my opinion, it just goes to show that when your ready, you'll get married and it will be right. If you're not ready, nothing is going to make it right no matter what kind of pressure comes your way from other directions. Enjoy your life as it comes and if and when you do meet the right person, you'll know, no matter what anyone else says.
 
Originally Posted By: Vikas
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
Originally Posted By: SuzukiGoat
I met my wife when I was in my very early 20s. I was standing in the street, saw her, and knew right then and there I was going to marry her. I broke up with my long term exgf/Fwb of five years two days later. We said goodbye one morning as she was leaving and only I knew it was actually goodbye.

The girl I saw? Turned out to be barely legal...and illegal in the majority of the country actually. Who knew.

Its been quite a few years now, she still drives me absolutely crazy.

Do I miss the single life, I miss turning down a few threesomes between my harem of friends who were girls.

I had more than my share of fun...and there is nothing that could get me to go.back to my lecherous ways.

My wife and I literally do everything together, and haven't spent more than 10 hours apart in the last...five or six years. Crazy considering there is no other person on the planet I can tolerate for more than a few hours.

Ignore the negative nancies, marry smart, marry with the knowledge it will sometimes be work, marry for love, and marry once.


Also if a woman tries to pick out her wedding ring or engagement ring...run for the [censored] hills. If her ring has to cost a certain amount, run.


In short, you're not too old to be single...but trust me, no amount of sluts, drunken adventures, or nights out with the boys can compare at all to just waking up next to that special person.

Call me sappy, when you're as big, gruff, and hairy as I am you get used to saying that you wish.


Whoa, I remember seeing a girl named brandy from louisana. she told me about a five yr relationship went sour, her ex boyfriend dumped her for barely legal 18 yr old girl. She has one 4 yr old son by him at the time. Gosh, this was 1997 or so. She had move out of LA into her parents home in Birmingham, AL where I met her

We need a semi loaded with popcorn :-)



I find it funny that I talk about Liberals being Libbys and the Move Forward movement and get kicked off the site for a week....but, on a family forum, speaking about threesomes with girls and under aged illegal aliens is just fine....if you don't hear back from me, it means they kicked me off for the last time folks.....
 
Originally Posted By: GMFan
I just turned 26 years old and I am single. Sure I casually date sometimes but I'm cautious about relationships...VERY cautious and for good reason. Why enter one unless I absolutely want to? In my experience once I enter into a relationship everything goes downhill. I've had long term girlfriends in the past. However I am not even sure I want to ever get married. Perhaps I meet the right girl down the road and I want to marry...but even then I like my freedom and living to my own goals. When did the world decide that was selfish?

I tell my family all the time that I'm happy being single and I put no pressure on myself about this stuff. However some of the family (grandparents especially) always seem to need to have "talks" with me about my "condition" of single-hood. What gives...I want to tell them to lay off. I know they care about me and love me but no matter what I tell them they always assume I'm some miserable single man. My older siblings have married off and now they have moved onto the next patient...me

Am I alone in this?
18.gif



you are not alone, but coming off a fresh divorce I would say, do it once and do it right, i.e. take your bleeping time please.

It takes time to figure out how a person really is.
 
More than 1/2 of marriages end in divorce. Why waste your time and money on that? (not to mention emotions, etc)

You're in your 20's still - PLENTY of time to have fun and figure your life out. If someone comes along that fits in, cool, if not enjoy your life the way you want!
 
I'm a 41 year old bachelor.

I knew at a young age I would be a bachelor forever. I just do not like the way most women treat men in this country. Soon as they get that ring on your finger they will change, and soon men become slaves to their woman's desires, emasculated shells of men. I think a huge percentage of this country's issues are stemmed from men in power who were raised by feminist mothers.

My best friend is married to an absolute Shrew of a woman. I see nothing but evil, greed and narcissism in her. My friend is a former shell of his fun loving self, working himself to death for her and their overwhelmingly poorly behaved kids. He knows he is trapped, and she is a detriment to every aspect of his personal relationships, and career. Everybody who meets her wonders what is wrong with him that he married her.

Yet if he divorces her this state will giver her everything, including the children, whom, in mine, and other's opinions, should not be left alone with her.

There are good women out there, in general, they are snapped up early, and the dregs are what is left over and they become increasingly embittered and hateful as their physical attractiveness, and ability to manipulate, wanes.

I'd rather be lonely, than a slave to modern woman's expectations. My immediate family no longer pressure me to settle down and find a woman, though they still hope for it. Sometimes their friends ask me why I am still a bachelor and I reply that I just do not come across enough foreign women, and that line of questioning usually ends instantly.

I could care less if they suspect I am gay.
 
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Originally Posted By: LargeCarManX2

I find it funny that I talk about Liberals being Libbys and the Move Forward movement and get kicked off the site for a week....but, on a family forum, speaking about threesomes with girls and under aged illegal aliens is just fine....if you don't hear back from me, it means they kicked me off for the last time folks.....


Threesomes aren't necessarily a bad thing and the term is not likely to be understood by children too young to hear about this sort of thing. A partner who is 18 years old and from another state in the US is not an "under aged illegal alien". Please calm down.
 
Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
I could care less if they suspect I am gay.


You might be missing an opportunity there. When enough people think you're gay word gets out. There are a lot of women who will shower you with attention and treat you a lot better than they would a "straight" man. Most of them will also be more accepting when you don't want to be bothered on any given day.
 
Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
I'm a 41 year old bachelor.

I knew at a young age I would be a bachelor forever. I just do not like the way most women treat men in this country. Soon as they get that ring on your finger they will change, and soon men become slaves to their woman's desires, emasculated shells of men. I think a huge percentage of this country's issues are stemmed from men in power who were raised by feminist mothers.

My best friend is married to an absolute Shrew of a woman. I see nothing but evil, greed and narcissism in her. My friend is a former shell of his fun loving self, working himself to death for her and their overwhelmingly poorly behaved kids. He knows he is trapped, and she is a detriment to every aspect of his personal relationships, and career. Everybody who meets her wonders what is wrong with him that he married her.

Yet if he divorces her this state will giver her everything, including the children, whom, in mine, and other's opinions, should not be left alone with her.

There are good women out there, in general, they are snapped up early, and the dregs are what is left over and they become increasingly embittered and hateful as their physical attractiveness, and ability to manipulate, wanes.

I'd rather be lonely, than a slave to modern woman's expectations. My immediate family no longer pressure me to settle down and find a woman, though they still hope for it. Sometimes their friends ask me why I am still a bachelor and I reply that I just do not come across enough foreign women, and that line of questioning usually ends instantly.

I could care less if they suspect I am gay.

Excellent and informative post. You are pretty much spot-on about modern American women (at least in most areas of the country). As a society, in the name of equality and the trend toward a sort of 'unisex' mentality....we've thrown out the good along with the bad. Not much better on the other side as men don't seem to know what it means anymore to be a real man and a gentleman as well. If I was in the hunt for a good woman with similar values to my own, I am afraid that I would be looking at foreign females (at least in part). The trouble with that of course is that once they become exposed to everything American (as the entire world is now becoming anyway), they often change or become exactly what you were trying to avoid. I've seen this happen many times with guys at my work who go overseas to find a mate.
I've been married myself (more than once and no kids). Mistakes all the way. I only have myself to blame and my formerly naive and foolish notions about the females in this country. Yes, good women exist (good in terms of marriage or long term commitment), but as you've stated, most have been spoken for. Most of the remainder (especially if you are older) are washed up, tired old nut-cases with enough baggage to fill a U-haul trailer.
 
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
Married to the same beautiful woman for almost 28 years now. Three children, two grandbabies with another one on the way.

The funny thing is, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE told us not to get married when we were dating because in their opinion, it would never work, (even the preacher that married us told us it would never work between us). Both sides of the family disowned both of us for a while, (in fact, her side still doesn't like me all that well), but we've had a wonderful life together. In my opinion, it just goes to show that when your ready, you'll get married and it will be right. If you're not ready, nothing is going to make it right no matter what kind of pressure comes your way from other directions. Enjoy your life as it comes and if and when you do meet the right person, you'll know, no matter what anyone else says.


One more reason to mostly ignore the opinions of family members or friends when it comes to these matters.
If you do something just to please family members or friends it will most likely come back to bite you.
OP, do what feels right to you, not your family.
 
wrcsixeight,

What will you do when your girlfriend gives you a marriage ultimatum ???
 
Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Relatives might wonder why you are 45 years old with no wife, kids, family, ... etc....



Me? No, they know why. I don't want kids and I have zero interest in marriage. It just isn't for me. Especially now that I am disabled/sick. I wouldn't put a woman through that. Would be unfair to her. Not only that what they think is irrelevant as far as that goes.
 
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Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
Married to the same beautiful woman for almost 28 years now. Three children, two grandbabies with another one on the way.


It was a far different world 28 years ago when you got married.
 
Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
wrcsixeight,

What will you do when your girlfriend gives you a marriage ultimatum ???




Girlfriend?

Ha, That's funny. I told the last woman I was with, a decade my junior, well before we got naked, that I never want kids or marriage, she found that "disappointing" as she wanted both.
When she later told me I didn't need to use a condom(I did anyway), the relationship was over then and there, but she didn't know till the next day, perhaps longer.

I'm entirely too suspicious of female motivations, and find their attempts at manipulations incredibly transparent, insulting, despicable, and yet pathetically amusing.

I fully expect to remain alone and have come to terms with that. I am most on my guard when the sirens are smiling at me, as men lose half their IQ in the presence of beauty, and another half when in love.

Attenuating one's physical needs is easy enough, and I look forward to their diminishment with increased age.
 
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