Bachelors - Pressure for marriage

[NHHEMI]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
wrcsixeight,

What will you do when your girlfriend gives you a marriage ultimatum ???




Girlfriend?

Ha, That's funny. I told the last woman I was with, a decade my junior, well before we got naked, that I never want kids or marriage, she found that "disappointing" as she wanted both.
When she later told me I didn't need to use a condom(I did anyway), the relationship was over then and there, but she didn't know till the next day, perhaps longer.

I'm entirely too suspicious of female motivations, and find their attempts at manipulations incredibly transparent, insulting, despicable, and yet pathetically amusing.

I fully expect to remain alone and have come to terms with that. I am most on my guard when the sirens are smiling at me, as men lose half their IQ in the presence of beauty, and another half when in love.

Attenuating one's physical needs is easy enough, and I look forward to their diminishment with increased age.

 

[Cristobal]

Originally Posted By: NHHEMI
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
Married to the same beautiful woman for almost 28 years now. Three children, two grandbabies with another one on the way.


It was a far different world 28 years ago when you got married.



I agree. In the last twenty years the social contract between men and women has been broken in the USA by feminism. With a single phone call, a single fake claim of domestic violence, the woman can get the man thrown in jail, fired from his job, deprived of his professional licenses, and financially stripped. Women if found out are never prosecuted for such things. The fact that not all women do this does not mean that they do not have the power to do so.

 

[Cristobal]

Originally Posted By: yonyon
Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
I could care less if they suspect I am gay.


You might be missing an opportunity there. When enough people think you're gay word gets out. There are a lot of women who will shower you with attention and treat you a lot better than they would a "straight" man. Most of them will also be more accepting when you don't want to be bothered on any given day.



Did you ever watch a film called "Shampoo"? It had Warren Beatty and Goldie Hawn in it. It was about the 1967 Los Angeles movie scene, and it touched on those themes.

 

[yonyon]

No, never saw it. It does work that way, or at least it did so many years ago before I got old and decided it's easier to just keep a lot of old stained clothes, avoid shaving more than once a week, and only comb my hair when going to work.

This puts an end to the gay image and all the "My daughter's going to be visiting this weekend, do you mind if I bring her by to meet you? She's gorgeous. You'll like her." garbage. I imagine that if you have a cat or a purple car, those might have to go too.

 

[mjk]

45 YO bachelor here.

Just remember one line:

"Eddie , I want HALF".

 

[sleddriver]

Yep...been there...heard that. My parents died when I was still a kid, so I lived with and mixed with relatives from both sides. Most on one side married WAAAY to early, were women looking for a man to take care of them, and chose very wrong. Result? Pregnancies out of wedlock, divorce, and another generation of innocent kids repeating the life & chaos of their parents.

One of my grandmothers chided me for letting 'a good one' get away that my brother was dating. I told my grandmother "she's not my type...way TOO LOUD and TOO MUCH ENERGY". My GM thought I was nuts. I begged to differ. Fortunately for me, my brother now has to deal with her, not me. That high-energy woman could wear out the Energizer bunny....

Another angle these relatives never considered was I watched the women endlessly hen-pick their men while growing up. Endlessly....bauwk, bauk, bauk. Over & over. Then these women want to know why I didn't want to sign up for this? They were clueless. Their husbands certainly understood!

My life was complicated enough by my parents early death. I didn't need to complicate it further during my 20's or 30's. I had a lot to clean up and deal with during that time.

Now the raging hormones have died down and let me be. Still single. Never married. There is wisdom in waiting for yourself to mature, get some experience, and look around FIRST. They could just be looking out for you, not wanting you to be alone, etc. But I don't know you or them.

There is a very interesting book out lately, about men saying no to marriage and the traditional role because the rules have changed....against them. It's called "Men on Strike" by Helen Smith. You probably ought to read it just to be aware of how some (not all) women think.

Don't let anyone rush you into something, particularly marriage, that you are not prepared for. Period. Some (men & women) are scared to death at being alone and PANIC. Don't do that. Learn to deal with your own emotions...and others.

The world has changed a lot since your parents were born & married. That world no longer exists. Think about it.

 

[stockrex]

Originally Posted By: Cristobal
Originally Posted By: NHHEMI
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
Married to the same beautiful woman for almost 28 years now. Three children, two grandbabies with another one on the way.


It was a far different world 28 years ago when you got married.



I agree. In the last twenty years the social contract between men and women has been broken in the USA by feminism. With a single phone call, a single fake claim of domestic violence, the woman can get the man thrown in jail, fired from his job, deprived of his professional licenses, and financially stripped. Women if found out are never prosecuted for such things. The fact that not all women do this does not mean that they do not have the power to do so.


Amen, I went through the above, just stay away from crazy ones,

Don't lose your IQ or Rational thinking in presence of beauty or love, keep a calm head.

 

[expat]

Why marry?

Religious reasons aside, stay with a partner (make a verbal commitment to her if you wish) as long as it works, if things fail, move on.

It's exactly what most 'married' people do. Except they call it divorce.

Legally, if you don't have a written agreement, and you stay together for some time, you'll get screwed anyway.

So what is the point of marriage anyway?

Actually, I don't know of many "married" couples anymore,
most we know, even those with kids, aren't.

 

[Dave Hess]

On the other hand...

Some people (men & women) would rather be in a loveless marriage than be alone and on their own. They has seen disaster marriages of friends/relatives/ coworkers.

I heard on the radio that 1000 recently married women were asked if the were making the right decision on the guy they were going to marry. 40% of the women said they knew it wasn't the right guy but got married to him anyways.

Lots of pressure from family, society, etc... to get married.

 

[dparm]

I don't understand why a man is labeled as gay if he actually takes care of himself. Excuse me for not wanting to wear wrinkled ill-fitting clothes and actually showering + shaving daily.

Had several women tell me they thought I was gay because I was always dressed so well and clean-cut.

Go back and look at guys like Cary Grant...definitely have their act together and NOT gay.

 

[yonyon]

You can take care of yourself as well as you like, but then you just kind of have to do something else to get the message across. You know, show off the women you're with or make a habit of trying to flirt with a lot of new ones. That route is more work though, unless that comes naturally to you.

 

[Dave Hess]

dparm,

I also had some women think I was gay because I was sooo "nice and always a gentleman"

????????

Is it my fault some women are so used to dealing with men that are pure trash?

 

[JHZR2]

Originally Posted By: SuzukiGoat

My wife and I literally do everything together, and haven't spent more than 10 hours apart in the last...five or six years. Crazy considering there is no other person on the planet I can tolerate for more than a few hours.

Ignore the negative nancies, marry smart, marry with the knowledge it will sometimes be work, marry for love, and marry once.


Also if a woman tries to pick out her wedding ring or engagement ring...run for the [censored] hills. If her ring has to cost a certain amount, run.




You saved me a bunch of typing. Well said.

Too many relationships are based upon nothing or upon just a physical basis, which then goes away too fast. There is no substance.

I love my wife and have a partner, team mate and best friend for life. Weve had some things to go through, but nothing we couldnt work out easily in reality.

Too many people think life is what they see on TV. It isnt. TV does much of the relationship-breaking, IMO (seeing a false sense of reality), with finances being the other biggie.

Nothing wrong with being single, but the blood sucking, cheating and stealing of half of everything need not happen.

 

[JHZR2]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
dparm,

I also had some women think I was gay because I was sooo "nice and always a gentleman"

????????

Is it my fault some women are so used to dealing with men that are pure trash?




I got that in college a few times too. Still hard to believe. Oh well.

 

[artificialist]

I am 29 and single. I often meet coworkers that ask if I am unmarried and I say yes. 50% of guys I meet say "Good. Stay that way." Also, my father and uncle are pleased with my decision because they have had their own relationship problems.

I fear what may happen in the courtroom if I ever chose to get married. It never seems to end well.

 

[JethroBodine]

One benefit to marriage is that you can have as much sex as you want any time you want it...

 

[bradepb]

Most of the posts seem to be against marriage and I agree. I have had a 31 year marriage and am generally happy, but it is even worse out there now then 31 years ago. I would love to see my two sons age 24 and 28 happily married but given the odds i don't care if they stay single.
Who in this day and age stays the same for 30-50 years? My wife and I have absolutely nothing in common other than children. Its sad to think I am stuck in neutral the rest of my life as she is against where I want to live and how I want to live.

 

[SwampSurvivor]

I don't see myself getting married.

I would like the companionship, but it seems like a wedding is a lot of to-do. With so many marriages ending badly ...

I also am not entirely sure I want children, either.

Maybe I am just selfish? I want to live a simple life.

 

[expat]

Originally Posted By: Miller88
I don't see myself getting married.

I would like the companionship, but it seems like a wedding is a lot of to-do. With so many marriages ending badly ...

I also am not entirely sure I want children, either.

Maybe I am just selfish? I want to live a simple life.


How is that selfish?
I think you are quite reasonable. If you don't want kids, you shouldn't have kids!
And, you should not get yourself in a situation where you get pressured to have kids.
(as many men do in a marriage)

 

[Cristobal]

Originally Posted By: JethroBodine
One benefit to marriage is that you can have as much sex as you want any time you want it...

As long as "anytime" is anytime she does not say no....