Aviation Humor

Originally Posted By: Astro14
No, no, I am not offended...I just don't think it's funny, because I know the set up (real tower communication) can't possibly be true...
Here is a "real" fighter pilot joke for you.
A BBC TV journalist is interviewing a elderly former Polish fighter pilot. Interviewer: So Mr Stanczewski, I understand that in 1943 you shot down five German aircraft in a single engagement. Could you tell us what happened? Polish Fighter Pilot: Well we were flying at 20,000 feet when we spotted five Fokkers flying along below us. So we dived down and I aimed at one of the Fokkers and fired a burst from my machine guns right into him and he exploded. Then I saw that one of the Fokkers was on my tail, so I pulled round in a loop and got behind him, and fired and he went down on fire. I looked around and saw two Fokkers attacking my squadron leader, so slipped in behind them, and fired, and that was another Fokker going down in flames. The other Fokker tried to get away from me, but I got right up behind him, and blasted him with my machine guns and turned over and exploded. There was only one of the Fokkers left now, and he was trying to get away, but I flew up behind him, shot - bang, bang, bang - and he blew up too! Interviewer: I should point out for the benefit of the viewers at home, that the Fokker was a type of German aircraft used in the war. Polish Fighter Pilot: No, no, no - these fokkers were Messerschmitts!
How about this one, sounds technically correct to me:
A fighter pilot took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “He mated 50 times last year.” They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.” They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.” The fighter pilot looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.” The fighter pilot’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, he should eventually make a full recovery.
True story, when I was in one of my aviation management classes in College, my professor and her husband were pilots for United Airlines. She told a story of how the pilots made a note in the log book stating that the aircraft wasn't flying straight. The mechanics replied " tell the aircraft to straighten up and behave. "