Worried

[Nick R]

Life apparently doesn't like me much lately. So there was the thing with my light headedness (went away on it's own) then the accident with my aunt uncle and cousin, and luckily everyone is ok. So then this morning my mom gets a call from her doctors office, telling her that they are sending her to a cardiologist for a full workup.

Basically, since she had my little sister back in 98 I think, she has had two heart murmurs, mild Mitral valve and Aortic valve murmurs. They've monitored it over the years and said nothing to worry about. The current theory is that as a child she had strep throat alot, and that it went untreated once a and resulted in rheumatic fever. Well, nurse today says that one of the murmurs (Didn't specify which) is worse, with "Abnormalities". Obviously this freaked her (and us) out greatly. They didn't make an immediate appointment, two weeks, but still.

She had gastric bypass a few years ago to lose some weight and has been doing very well. But she's been under alot of stress lately due to work and drama with my grandmother. I'm freaking out a little bit, the cardiologist appointment can't come fast enough for me. I've always had a fear of things to do with the heart. Why can't things go right for a change? Anyone have any thoughts on this? I know we have a few doctors in the BITOG family or relation.

 

[tomcat27]

ok - I'm not a doctor, but was an EMT, my borhter does medical training for the county, and also has a child with a mild heart situation. In MOST case there is nothing to worry about. BTW - to reduce your own stress during these times, make sure that you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and getting some daily exercise !

best wishes!

 

[dparm]

If this type of thing causes you anxiety, bring it up with your doctor. He can prescribe something to help with that, especially if it causes insomnia/panic attacks/loss of concentration. For instant but short-term relief there are things like lorazepam.

 

[Noey]

Hi Nick,

So sorry to hear about all this..I understand your distress. Keep a couple of things in mind here: "Abnormalities" sounds scarier than it is....esp. since your mom has a history of valve insufficiency, which are 'Abnormalities'. However, most people live quite well with them, untreated..and certainly, there are effective treatments. If this was an emergency, if they heard some things that were very abnormal, then they would have admitted her stat to a hospital for an immediate work up.

Waiting is the hardest part, it adds to the feeling of helplessness and loss of control (and fear!). But, if your mom isn't too symptomatic, try to use a little rationalizations here about the flow of events, and realize that if it was life threatening they would have admitted her...so anything it might be can (hopefully, but probably) be treated.

And maybe spend the intervening time just enjoying her and appreciating who (and what) she is to you.

Good luck, and Godspeed...

 

[d00df00d]

Originally Posted By: Nick R
I'm freaking out a little bit, the cardiologist appointment can't come fast enough for me. I've always had a fear of things to do with the heart. Why can't things go right for a change? Anyone have any thoughts on this? I know we have a few doctors in the BITOG family or relation.

We always want fast answers to tough questions -- often to the point that we are more willing to accept a bad answer right away than to wait for a better one. It's how we are wired.

What this means in practice is that, by definition, the situation is almost never as bad as it seems. It can't be, because when you are anxious, your brain always tends to assume the worst. Reminding yourself of that is the first step in taking control.

Taking control is important for two reasons. First, it puts you in a better position to help your mother. Second, and more importantly, it will greatly reduce your mother's and family members' stress levels. This will have a HUGE effect on her recovery.

From there, I strongly suspect you know what to do. Keep tabs on her. Stay informed by reading from REAL medical sources. Talk to doctors and nurses. Call her if you don't see her. Help arrange family get-togethers. Listen to her when she needs an ear. Stay positive, but focused on the goal: helping your mother get better. You may be surprised how much that helps.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

 

[spasm3]

It is better to find and know your options than to not have the knowledge and are suddenly faced with bad situation. So many people do not follow up on health issues. I hope things go well but its better to evaluate leaky or stenotic heart valves rather than evaluate them when the patient is already in congestive heart failure.

 

[Nick R]

What worries me is that the last Echo-cardiogram was almost 3 years ago, and this past one was late december, so god only knows how long it's been "abnormal".

 

[crinkles]

Hang in there mate. At this stage as scary as it is to have your mum in a bad way, i'd recommend not worrying too much until the results of the workup are back.

 

[Al]

Originally Posted By: Nick R
Life apparently doesn't like me much lately. Why can't things go right for a change? Anyone have any thoughts on this? I know we have a few doctors in the BITOG family or relation.

Sorry to hear. I would guess things will work out. The more positive feelings you keep the better.

You are young..those of us who are old know that life is full of things like this. You accept it, deal with it and move on. As they say..the trip through life is not for sissy's.

My wife had heart issues at the age of 36. Turned out to be arterial spasms. We had two kids...ages 7 and 9. We made it through and now at the age of 64 she is in great health. (knock wood)

 

[Pablo]

Hang in there. Sometimes it's just the way life is. I actually worry more when EVERYTHING is going right - it's not normal to have everything PERFECT. You will learn this as you get older.

I have already prayed for you and your mom.

Find the best doctor and then get some second opinions at crucial steps. I'm thinking it's semi-related to stress. I know it's tough in the winter - but if it's OK with the doctor (pretty sure it will be) - you and your mom take some time to take a decently long walk every day.

 

[CROWNVIC4LIFE]

Originally Posted By: crinkles
Hang in there mate. At this stage as scary as it is to have your mum in a bad way, i'd recommend not worrying too much until the results of the workup are back.



I agree not to worry 2 much until all the results are in.

Prayers sent.

 

[Nick R]

Thank you so much guys... It really means alot to me

 

[k24a4]

The grandmother of a friend of mine had multiple bypass surgeries as a result of hereditary issues, not lifestyle choices (ie smoking, drinking, overeating), starting in her sixties, and lived an active, full life, and was sharp as a whip until the day she died...at 104. Modern science is truly amazing. What was extraordinary 50 years ago is commonplace today.

It sounds like the nurses and doctors are on top of the situation. Have faith in them. This can be a stressful time of year on its own, without the additional stressors you and your family have been through. Take some deep breaths, pan back a bit, and acknowledge only the things you can control.

 

[bradepb]

I got sent to a cardiologist for abnormal ekg 7 years ago and was kind of worried but the doctor said if it was anything that bad they wouldnt want you to wait, went for first stress test- abnormal,oh great, second stress test echocardiogram ok, just went for another echotest last summer -ok.
when they see the least thing they dont want to take a chance so dont worry too much till you know more, they rush a lot of people right to the hospital not let them wait 2 weeks.

 

[LS2JSTS]

Best wishes for you and your Mother Nick. Prayers sent.

Stay strong for her!

 

[NJC]

Originally Posted By: Nick R
I've always had a fear of things to do with the heart. Why can't things go right for a change?

I know that anxious feeling of dread very well, and it's always worse than the actual event. Good advice to ensure sleeping well, exercise, and ask Doc for meds if needed - to take short-term. Xanax, for instance, is a wonderful medicine for those with anxiety trouble (not sure you fall in this category).

 

[Scienceman]

I will be praying for your mother, and your whole family.

 

[Nick R]

Feel better today. Until we get results... Life goes on.