i'm not guessing anything, i've researched the relationship between oil viscosity and bearing clearance extensively. any bearing manufacturer will tell you that a wider clearance means you need a thicker oil, whereas for a thinner oil you want a tighter clearance.
check out this pdf from mahle, for example. an excerpt:
Lighter weight oils have less resistance to flow; consequently, their use will result in greater oil flow and possibly less oil pressure, especially at larger clearances. All oils thin out as they heat up; multigrade oils, however, don’t thin out as rapidly as straight grades. Original Equipment clearance specifications are necessarily tight due to the use of energy conserving lightweight oils, relatively high operating temperatures, and a concern for control of noise and vibration, especially in aluminum blocks. High Performance engines on the other hand, typically employ greater bearing clearances for a number of reasons. Their higher operating speeds result in considerably higher oil temperatures and an accompanying loss in oil viscosity due to fluid film friction that increases with shaft speed. Increased clearance provides less sensitivity to shaft, block, and connecting rod deflections and the resulting misalignments that result from the higher levels of loading in these engines. Use of synthetic oils with their better flow properties can help to reduce fluid film friction.
back to the j35, they obviously haven't changed the bearing diameter or width, nor added any coatings, if the part used is the same since 1999. as for the oil pump, it does appear they changed that in 2008, and i would agree that's almost certainly in order to produce adequate oil pressure with a thinner oil.
i'm not panicking, nor do i get the impression any others with a distaste for these thin oils are. we simply see that the nature of a thinner oil is to provide less effective lubrication than thicker oils, and consider the mpg/durability tradeoff to be an unacceptable compromise. there is a reason any bearing manufacturer will suggest a thicker oil for a performance/high load application. when it comes to uoas, the vast majority of those are also coming from people who don't drive their car with a "lead foot", and i have to wonder how many are from engines that have been running that sae20 oil for 200k+ miles. "running fine" does not equate to "protected to the utmost in extreme conditions", and personally i like to aim for the latter when maintaining any engine i have control over. listening to a friend's 200k mile k20 engine clatter away on its factory-spec 5w20 pains me immensely, and as soon as i put some 0w30 in there it quieted down quite nicely. this is a pattern i observe consistently on any high-mileage engine that was spec'd for an sae20 oil.