Which 9mm Rd. For EDC/SD

In NJ it's hollow point ammo no matter what euphemism you want to call it. And they are regulated the same as a handgun. Illegal except in certain specific situations. Basically at home or owned business and to and from the range.

If there is no concensus on what's best, i assume they are all good and will not be the limiting factor should you be unsuccessful in your situation. I apply this philosophy to many of life's situations.

What's the best high quality oil? They will all get the job done if used correctly. Same high quality ammo.
 
One thing to consider here is that you are using a 3” barrel revolver, so, your velocities developed will be similar to, and probably even lower than those of common 3” barrel “micro-9” semi-autos, such as what I carry every day (Sig P938), the Kahr PM9/CM9, etc.

In ballistics testing, velocities out of these 3” barrel handguns sometimes don’t get high enough to allow reliable expansion, which can result in overpenetration with certain rounds.

If you haven’t already, check out the video series by YouTube ballistics reviewer Shootingthebull410 on 3” barrel 9mm’s. He tests many different rounds out of the micro-9 pistols in a quest for the best self-defense rounds that meet FBI penetration standards.

I also really like TNoutdoors9’s channel.
 
Neat revolver. My sister carries the round butt speed six version in .357. As far as which bullet I think they'd all be just fine. I'd pick what shot best.
 
I use Hornady 124 gr. XTP for my personal protection ammo in all my 9mm handguns. Barrel lengths vary from about 3-4 inches.
 
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