Originally Posted By: Julian
Anatta know why Ama crying so much lately!
I had a couple of emotional days a couple of weeks ago. My hip was injured, so I couldn't bike or walk or run or, most importantly, sleep well. That's the first time I've been in too much pain to sleep. Ibuprofen, tylenol, codeine, and hydromorphone were ineffective. Then I had a dream where I was with my ex-girlfriend and happy. Waking up from that was terrible. I was lifting weights later that evening while watching James Blunt "Live in Toulouse" on HDNet Concerts. I had never listened to him before or heard anything other than "You're Beautiful" on the radio. This came on:
James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
I'm so hollow
Great performance. Voice wavering, looking like he was going to break down himself, and I broke down at that point. Normally getting high mellows me out, but every time I did I got worse. I couldn't even go for a long walk or run to relax myself and tire myself out. The next night was even worse, and I ended up going to her place the next morning and crying on her shoulder for probably ten minutes straight. That's the first time I've really cried in about seven years. I gave the rest of my weed to my friend that day, and flushed my last J. I've been going downhill. I started smoking weed on a daily basis because I was going downhill a few years back and it seemed to put that on hold, but I was heading back down. Something needed to change and that was the only change I had left. The clarity is interesting. I don't know how long it will remain that way, or if it will help in the end, but it's something different anyway.
Anatta know why Ama crying so much lately!
I had a couple of emotional days a couple of weeks ago. My hip was injured, so I couldn't bike or walk or run or, most importantly, sleep well. That's the first time I've been in too much pain to sleep. Ibuprofen, tylenol, codeine, and hydromorphone were ineffective. Then I had a dream where I was with my ex-girlfriend and happy. Waking up from that was terrible. I was lifting weights later that evening while watching James Blunt "Live in Toulouse" on HDNet Concerts. I had never listened to him before or heard anything other than "You're Beautiful" on the radio. This came on:
James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
I'm so hollow
Great performance. Voice wavering, looking like he was going to break down himself, and I broke down at that point. Normally getting high mellows me out, but every time I did I got worse. I couldn't even go for a long walk or run to relax myself and tire myself out. The next night was even worse, and I ended up going to her place the next morning and crying on her shoulder for probably ten minutes straight. That's the first time I've really cried in about seven years. I gave the rest of my weed to my friend that day, and flushed my last J. I've been going downhill. I started smoking weed on a daily basis because I was going downhill a few years back and it seemed to put that on hold, but I was heading back down. Something needed to change and that was the only change I had left. The clarity is interesting. I don't know how long it will remain that way, or if it will help in the end, but it's something different anyway.
