Well, I would surely concede ...that where viscosity has a factor in long term wear, 5w-20 will produce more wear than 5w30.
Your situation, in a vacuum and viewed as a data point of one or two, would appear to bear this out. OTOH, I think if a close examination were performed, we'd find that you're the guy driving Pike's Peak on a daily basis and that the service duty is exception more than other factors. You would find that you're on the fringe of distribution. This is clearly evident with the lack of a sharp upramp in junked 2002+ vehicles in the junkyard with perfectly good transmissions and bodies ..with shot engines. If 5w-20 was the killer that you claim, the Crown Vic would surely not be the taxi cab of choice after 100k+ with 5w-20 lube and living to 200-350k. They would be grenading in droves.
Not that this invalidates your view. It just moves it to the extreme periphery of notation. I'm sure someone lives where their daily commute takes them through Death Valley and they need to do it @ 100+ mph in 135F temps with the AC blasting.
If visc played any significant role in long term wear, then the use of even higher visc fluids would sensibly extend that lifespan even further. So, Bill from Utah, using his cheap 5w30 for 4-5k oil changes ...getting his 225k-250k could see REAL savings in exchange by getting 300-350k if he went to a 10w-40 grade. But he wouldn't, since his current retirement rate is not at the point of failure. His failure rate is probably already in the 350k-400k range ..maybe beyond. Even statistically significant differences between the two, if they in fact exist in high enough numbers to enumerate, are so far out of the realm of typical chassis lifespan that it would be hard to make a case where they justify factoring into oil grade selection.