Tech support...(joke)

[sbc350gearhead]

Too Funny!!!

Dear Technical Support

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and
Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

A shareware program, Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and
left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for
several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend
1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems
detected each other, they
caused severe damage to my hardware.

I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon
had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up
all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and
Cleanhouse 2002.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be
very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then
resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and
can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter
products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the
problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express
which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns
unwelcome child processes
that drain my resources. These conflicts with some of the new games I
wanted
to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often
crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather annoying pop-up called
Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be
problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0
detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money files
before uninstalling itself.

Thank you

[ February 04, 2004, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: sbc350gearhead ]

 

[ALS]

Thirty reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

7. A dog's parents never visit.

8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or
desk.

11. Dogs seldom outlive you.

12. Dogs can't talk.

13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.

14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a day.

15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

16. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of
you.

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get
another dog?"

20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for
free.

21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them
away.

22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a
pervert.

23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just
think it's interesting.

25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.

And, last but not least:

30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff

 

[labman]

7. A dog's parents never visit.

One year at Thanksgiving, we had our son came home. Our dog had his mother and sister visit him.


30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff

Of course not, everything you own has been shredded.
[/QB][/QUOTE]

 

[satterfi]

I hate dogs.

At the drop of a hat, I can hop on the bike and go riding for a week. The wife gets over it.

The dog gets pissed, chews your car cover, urinates on the bike you left behind and even worse: looks all giddy, happy and stupid when you get back. These are the dumbest animals God ever created.

 

[GSV]

quote:

---

I hate dogs.

---

A dog is only as smart as it's owner.

 

[Pablo]

Too funny.

People who think dogs destroy your sh#& are just people who have never owned cats...cats may not destroy your house in one day (some might). Most cats take a few years to shred your entire carpet, both couches (leather, fake naugahyde, cloth, whatever), all chairs, wooden table legs, speakers,....you get the picture.

If wife 1.3 wants cat, or worse, CATS....run and never come back.

 

[sbc350gearhead]

My cat decided to use my anderson wood windows, as scratching posts. She was declawed the next day.

 

[Rick in PA]

quote:

---

Originally posted by sbc350gearhead:
...While Wife 1.0 tends to use up
all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2002....

---

Did I miss a service pack?

 

[Pablo]

No Rick, that's what I got too....I think we didn't pick the right bundle, I did get Outwithfriends 2.3 and Anyonecanvacuum 1.0, though