Renegotiating salary offer, should be done or not?

Joined
Mar 1, 2012
Messages
752
My wife is in a tricky situation.

After a decade of parenting, she is trying to get back to work for some time. She reached out to old connections and one ended up fruitful after almost 7-8 months of trying. Her confidence is not what it used to be. She took an offer whatever was offered without giving a second thought to anything else.

Her working hours are odd, due to working in a hospital. They do not have their own parking, so she has to park privately, which costs upwards of $700/month. Commuting using public transport is not an option (odd hours+safety). After running the numbers, she will be spending almost $1000/month for commuting only, and after deductions (401K, HSA and taxes) she won't get much in hand.

I would suck up to it because she made a mistake (and she wants the job), but she is extremely uncomfortable (like she is not herself for all of last week). While she really loved the job and people, she will be working with, she feels, she should renegotiate the offer and ask for at least 50% of parking costs, plus her future increase will depend on her base salary. So she essentially shot in the foot.

The job is a permanent type. Unless she screws up big time or something huge happens, she won't be fired (as she was told, and she was hired on the oral promise that she won't go job hopping after 5 years.)

What do experienced folks say, should she renegotiate the offer? She has not signed any documentation. She will be going sometimes next week to do all paperwork, medical and other pre-employment screening. I personally do not have any experience of working with a large corporate type workplace.
Her points of concern,
- How would it look on herself for doing so (organization and manager), and its implications for the future, if she does stick around (she wants to).
- If it will appear badly for her old colleague who referred her there and put a good word in (AFAIK, she works in another department and had no active role in her employment)
At the end,
Would you suck up or renegotiate?
If she should renegotiate, how do you recommend wording it?

Appreciate all helpful comments.
 
Joined
Sep 30, 2013
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Indiana
I would say it’s too late since the terms have already been agreed to.

However, hospitals are having a hard time finding people so she may be able to negotiate something.

Did she not know about the parking expenses for accepting the job? I’m guessing no because I wouldn’t think that’s something typically discussed.
 
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
2,275
That’s a bad situation all around.

Luckily she hasn’t taken the job yet, personally I just would tell them that after further consideration, looking at the costs of travel, parking, etc, I wouldn’t be making much of anything. And as much as I’d love to work here, I just can’t do that. I’d rather have someone tell me that upfront than a month after they were hired. I’d probably also reach out to the friend that put in a good word for her and let her know. Now, if they really want her they’ll renegotiate and counter with something acceptable. But usually an employer will count this as a red flag because it’s already a money issue, it’s already a logistics and commuting issue. And that’s something that will not improve, it’ll only get worse. If they meet her demands there’s a feeling that there always will be an issue with compensation, commuting and then attitude. Simply because all those things generally (right or wrong) are perceived as a potential attitude/effort/moral problems.

Good luck!
 
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
20,161
Location
NH
First off, money to HSA and 401k is not “lost”, it sure may feel that way, but it’s still money in your pocket.

Secondly, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Explain why and head for the door. If they really want her, they will sweeten the pot.
 
Joined
Jul 26, 2020
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2,904
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FL
Business is about numbers - pure and simple. If the numbers aren't working out, don't do the deal.

I agree, especially if her take home pay will be very little after everything taken out.

She might be able to bring up the $700 for parking topic, but not much else.

Just wondering what’s her specialty ?
I worked in healthcare for 30+ years….
 
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
2,275
I agree, especially if her take home pay will be very little after everything taken out.

She might be able to bring up the $700 for parking topic, but not much else.

Just wondering what’s her specialty ?
I worked in healthcare for 30+ years….
Right exactly, they may be able to do a little something about the parking but that’s about it. Although there is still a severe shortage in healthcare right now, she may have some leverage.
 
Joined
Jan 19, 2017
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1,135
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Texas,USA
She should do it. And you should help her prep for the conversation. By in large women have a tougher time asking for more money than men. Not all women just generalizing. I have to pester my wife before she’ll even think about a raise. While I’m always looking for an opportunity to negotiate raise.

The way I figure it businesses have no issues increasing prices. Why should I?
 
Joined
Jun 15, 2003
Messages
38,358
Location
ME
If it costs $700 a month for parking there's got to be a way the other employees finagle it, through car pooling or some secret society your wife doesn't know about yet. Maybe there's a coworker she hasn't met yet that can ride the same public transport as her. The question will be, is her odd shift her odd shift alone, or will she be around the same people?

She could call her HR contact and ask how everybody does it because it's a concern to her.

What kind of work is it, is it a one-off job or something like a CNA where there's a pretty established baseline?
 
Joined
Oct 23, 2005
Messages
7,998
She should do it. And you should help her prep for the conversation. By in large women have a tougher time asking for more money than men. Not all women just generalizing. I have to pester my wife before she’ll even think about a raise. While I’m always looking for an opportunity to negotiate raise.

The way I figure it businesses have no issues increasing prices. Why should I?
This.

[paraphrasing, after salary research into coworkers' salaries]

Your wife: "Ok boss, I have been here 6 months. How am I doing?"

Boss: "Great! You're a valued member of the team and we are glad to have you!"

Your wife: "Nice to know. So it is time to dispense with this new hire/training wage and adjust my pay to regular/full time/what others are getting paid in my position. What can you tell me?"
 
Joined
Mar 8, 2012
Messages
1,788
Location
MO
Some context as to what her job duties are going to be would help. If she’s a nurse, then I’d definitely ask for more. If she’s sweeping floors, maybe.

I’d bring up the parking cost and not mention 401k or HSA as those are optional and as was said earlier, are still amounts your wife keeps even though it may not feel like it.

If she’s been staying home for 10 years, presumably another 6-12 months without a paycheck shouldn’t hurt your situation. For that reason alone I’d say renegotiate the salary.
 
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
2,051
Location
MA
First off, money to HSA and 401k is not “lost”, it sure may feel that way, but it’s still money in your pocket.

Secondly, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Explain why and head for the door. If they really want her, they will sweeten the pot.
Being the only person who has ever worked I'd be psyched if my wife worked just to fully fund retirement accounts.
 
Joined
Jan 19, 2017
Messages
1,135
Location
Texas,USA
Too late now. Opening renegotiations after an agreement is going back on one's word. Not advisable.
Totally disagree. Hospitals adjust billing all the time and usually months after service. Moreover companies are always changes things tied to compensation. Anytime a benefit or responsibilities are altered the terms are being renegotiated. And most often it’s whether the employee likes it or not… Negotiations are only closed when you quit negotiating.
 
Joined
Mar 21, 2004
Messages
27,790
Location
Near the beach in Delaware
My wife is in a tricky situation.

After a decade of parenting, she is trying to get back to work for some time. She reached out to old connections and one ended up fruitful after almost 7-8 months of trying. Her confidence is not what it used to be. She took an offer whatever was offered without giving a second thought to anything else.

Her working hours are odd, due to working in a hospital. They do not have their own parking, so she has to park privately, which costs upwards of $700/month. Commuting using public transport is not an option (odd hours+safety). After running the numbers, she will be spending almost $1000/month for commuting only, and after deductions (401K, HSA and taxes) she won't get much in hand.

I would suck up to it because she made a mistake (and she wants the job), but she is extremely uncomfortable (like she is not herself for all of last week). While she really loved the job and people, she will be working with, she feels, she should renegotiate the offer and ask for at least 50% of parking costs, plus her future increase will depend on her base salary. So she essentially shot in the foot.

The job is a permanent type. Unless she screws up big time or something huge happens, she won't be fired (as she was told, and she was hired on the oral promise that she won't go job hopping after 5 years.)

What do experienced folks say, should she renegotiate the offer? She has not signed any documentation. She will be going sometimes next week to do all paperwork, medical and other pre-employment screening. I personally do not have any experience of working with a large corporate type workplace.
Her points of concern,
- How would it look on herself for doing so (organization and manager), and its implications for the future, if she does stick around (she wants to).
- If it will appear badly for her old colleague who referred her there and put a good word in (AFAIK, she works in another department and had no active role in her employment)
At the end,
Would you suck up or renegotiate?
If she should renegotiate, how do you recommend wording it?

Appreciate all helpful comments.
I would wait until the annual review of her job performance. At that point that will have a good idea of her capabilities.
 
Joined
Jun 15, 2021
Messages
139
She was hired on [her] the oral promise that she won't go job hopping [for] 5 years...


This is the key point to me... she made a promise... set aside whether papers were signed, legal recourse, the job market, etc. ... she made a promise.

Absent material misrepresentation on the part of the employer, she failed to do her due diligence and rushed into a decision she now regrets... but she made a promise. Sure the employer cannot legally require her to keep her word, but it should not have to... character is driven internally, not by employment law externalities.

In today's world there is little loyalty either way between employers and employees, but a man (or woman's) word has to mean something does it not? She made a deal, she made a promise... she should honor her word.

I find in most of these cases the situation is not "tricky" the correct course is usually patently obvious... it is just hard, or not what one wants to do, and folks are seeking "permission" or "confirmation" from strangers to take a path they know is wrong...

I am not criticizing anyone's choices, I am not their priest or their father... but you asked for input, so there it is...
 
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