Our beloved spouses and their vehicles

Handful of years ago my wife calls me. She's stuck on the side of the road. She had run out of gas. I grabbed a gas can, went to the gas station, filled it up and went to her. Put the gas in the car, hit the key and it went CLICK! I said what are you doing? Why is the battery dead? She said it's hot out. I have the air on. Me: Facepalm. Back home to grab jumper cables.

A few years ago for Christmas I gave all the kids jumper packs. My wife says why didn't I get one? I replied are you going to learn to use it or are you going to call me? She said call you. I said mine is in my truck.
She is currently driving a 2021 Traverse. It pains me to get her new cars. She treats vehicles like they're free. Well... to her, I guess they are.
I could write a book of stories on this subject.
 
I always add little bits of advice or tell my wife car stories and she is able to glean a little common sense out of these tales. We did have a Honda Accord that constantly had low tires and I believe this lead to ruining a couple of them. Thank god for tire pressure sensors.
 
Tire pressure sensor story…. We were driving to Florida. I was asleep in the passenger seat, my lovely bride was driving. She wakes me up and we’re parked in front of a laundromat in a bad neighborhood in rural South Carolina. I look around and ask what’s up? She points to the dash and says what does this mean? It says Check Left Front Tire. Couldn’t have been simpler. I get out, check the tire and it’s about half flat. I asked how long has that been on? About three hours. I asked why didn’t you wake me? You were tired.
I went inside the laundromat and bought some soap. Found the leak, plugged it and drove on.
 
Said she needed to add some washer fluid in her 05 Trail blazer. I asked if she wanted me to show her where to pour it in. She pops the hood, and I open the cap. "So that's where it is?!" She attempts to pour in the jug but doesn't want to get any fluid in her freshly detailed engine bay, so I do it for her. I've offered to show her how to change oil, but she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it. She isn't my spouse, more so of a crush. Any time she hits a curb a few lights will pop up on the dash and I'll joke with her about it.
 
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My wife had a 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix back in college and it had a little screen that occasionally display useful information.

One day, she calls me in a panic because she was on the side of the road because she wasn’t sure if it was safe to drive her car. Fearing the worst, I queried why she wasn’t sure if her car was safe at which point she reported that little screen displayed a very ominous message…”Check Gas Cap”.

Taking a moment to reflect on the severity of this issue, I asked her if she had just filled up which she answered in the affirmative. I then asked if she had checked to make sure gas cap was on and tight. She retorted with with panic in her voice “But what does this message mean!?”

At this point my buddy who was also present and could overhear this clearly traumatic event screamed “Check the f***ing gas cap!”…the line went silent.

A few tense, silent moments pass. Suddenly, the sound of a car door closing breaks the silence and the engine starts. Silence overcomes the line once again. Then, in a voice drenched in utter defeat, she mutters, “I forgot to put the gas cap back on, the message is gone. Don’t make fun of me.”
 
Another favorite... My wife apparently doesn't understand the proper use of climate control. She either has it full on or off. Lots of fun when we're driving together in extreme hot or cold weather. Just a couple of hours ago she was driving me to the train. I'm going to be at work for 24 hours and I don't want to leave my truck at the station. As I'm getting in her car I see her turn the climate control completely off. It's 60 degrees out with 92% relative humidity. Three blocks into the drive the windshield starts fogging up. She hits the wipers. Of course it does nothing since the fog is on the inside. I hit the defroster and adjusted the temp and fan speed so it isn't annoying. I KNOW when I get home tomorrow it will either be exactly the same or off. She's been driving for forty years. This CAN'T be this complicated.
 
My wife thought the oil life monitor percentage displayed on the dashboard of her GM told you how much oil was left in the car. At least she knew enough to bring it in for "additional oil" when it got to about 10-15% before she met me.
Story (has to be like those old "blonde women jokes") from a car dealership service manager. Starts out that a very cute / young / also very naïve looking girl drives in with her brand new car (daddy must have bought for her to drive to college) etc ...? Anyway she asks if they have any of those 710 caps.? The guy is like??? Hmmmm a 710 cap? So she tells him that her 710 cap is too tight so she wants a new one installed as she points to it
under the hood.... Turn 710 upside down if you don't know what it is by now. 710 = O1L !
 
A golden opportunity.

Tell her an engine with a Supercharger will charge the battery faster...
One of my buddies was riding with his wife. She spots one of those silly vanity accessory type of things that some guys like to install or hang of their truck rear bumpers. Well this time it is NOT the giant leather ball sack or the two giant screw on nuts hanging. This guy must be a fisherman so she asks my friend "babe , what is.... why does that guy have that little tiny propeller installed on his bumper below his license plate. My buddy without skipping a beat and used to her silly questions just like some involuntary or incontrollable reactions simply says "well honey that is one of those new trucks with the turbo installed on the bumper. That propeller is his turbo charger!" LOL. She froze in deep thought for a while and told him. "ok, that is what I was thinking !" Ha ha ha ha............. WOMEN. LOVE them right! What else you gonna do with them. Been enjoying and loving one now for just 44 years!
 
She is currently driving a 2021 Traverse. It pains me to get her new cars. She treats vehicles like they're free. Well... to her, I guess they are.
I could write a book of stories on this subject.
I so appreciate that my wife, despite knowing little of cars, is willing to let us own exclusively older cars. She has doubted 10 year old cars reliability, but is willing to let me take responsibility for the sake of saving money on cars. I know many women are not willing to drive older cars because of fear of reliability. She took some convincing to ride around in my 30 year old Toyota though.
 
Another favorite... My wife apparently doesn't understand the proper use of climate control. She either has it full on or off. Lots of fun when we're driving together in extreme hot or cold weather. Just a couple of hours ago she was driving me to the train. I'm going to be at work for 24 hours and I don't want to leave my truck at the station. As I'm getting in her car I see her turn the climate control completely off. It's 60 degrees out with 92% relative humidity. Three blocks into the drive the windshield starts fogging up. She hits the wipers. Of course it does nothing since the fog is on the inside. I hit the defroster and adjusted the temp and fan speed so it isn't annoying. I KNOW when I get home tomorrow it will either be exactly the same or off. She's been driving for forty years. This CAN'T be this complicated.

You would be surprised by the number of people that do this, including people I've worked with. blows my mind.
 
We have a dear friend who is not too mechanically inclined. He hit something (don't remember what) and called me to come and check out his '97 Accord. The radiator and associated parts were smashed in. He told me not to worry because he immeadiately added 2 quarts of oil.
 
We have a dear friend who is not too mechanically inclined. He hit something (don't remember what) and called me to come and check out his '97 Accord. The radiator and associated parts were smashed in. He told me not to worry because he immeadiately added 2 quarts of oil.
How does he have a functioning 24 year old accord with that sort of ignorance?
 
You would be surprised by the number of people that do this, including people I've worked with. blows my mind.
Amazing isn't it? Like setting house thermostats to 65 when you want 70 so it 'cools down faster'.... :)

That said, she is a car person and was driving a V8 Gremlin when we first met in college, had a bumper sticker that said 'This is NOT an abandoned car'. Knew then she was a keeper...
 
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After reading all of this I feel very lucky. In 33 years I have no stories to tell, she is really good about taking care of her car. She knows how to add oil, windshield washer fluid and even where to check antifreeze. Since she was the oldest of 7 and had to drive the kids around her dad taught her well.
 
You would be surprised by the number of people that do this, including people I've worked with. blows my mind.
The one that surprises me (bet none of you) are all the people who drive around breathing other cars exhaust simply cause they do not "realize" how their own auto A/C systems work (or don't care?). They do not realize there is a vent switch that opens and closes outside air. So a lot of times when they switch to different A/C modes , on some settings, the vent opens and they do not catch this and end up riding around with outside air coming into the cabin, this reduces your cooling and also causes the volume of air from the blower to be reduced. You can tell by pressing the open / close button and hear and feel the air volume kick in to high when you select closed. 😉
 
The one that surprises me (bet none of you) are all the people who drive around breathing other cars exhaust simply cause they do not "realize" how their own auto A/C systems work (or don't care?). They do not realize there is a vent switch that opens and closes outside air. So a lot of times when they switch to different A/C modes , on some settings, the vent opens and they do not catch this and end up riding around with outside air coming into the cabin, this reduces your cooling and also causes the volume of air from the blower to be reduced. You can tell by pressing the open / close button and hear and feel the air volume kick in to high when you select closed. 😉
Yep. When I start to smell exhaust nastiness I switch to recirculate. I hate that.
 
My wife destroys vehicles like it’s her job. It’s an art.

April fools days this year...received a text with a photo (I hate that it’s always bad news). She clipped the passenger side power mirror on her Mercedes coming out of the garage.

What else? She hits everything but the lottery with her SUV. A scratch here (she didn’t do it, no idea)...a dent...a ding...a scrape.... For years upon years.

And noise? Well, because I do most of the repairs I guess it’s kind of good that she wouldn’t hear a woodpecker under her own seat! But, sometimes it makes things worse on me...like the time her brakes were so shot I heard them coming up the street and I was like...oh god! Someone’s brakes are GONE! And then I see her rolling up the neighborhood. Metal had flown off the rotor and melted its way into the running boards/side steps and rims. Then it actually rusted. Left the drivers side rim a very nice burgundy color (that I never could get out).

I could go on but there’s not enough gigabytes for the entire internet to handle.
 
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