Never Give an Elephant an Enema

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2,361
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Texas
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly-and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen sometimes -- a billion-to-one shot, at least." The heartbreaking tale of constipation and tragedy began April 23 when the conscientious zookeeper noticed that his prize, 8,000-pound African elephant didn't seem to be producing his usual poop aplenty. "Friedrich had actually been concerned for several days because he knew that severe constipation can kill an elephant," assistant zookeeper Kurt Herrman recalled. "He told me he was going to stay late that Thursday night to treat Stefan with laxatives and possibly give him an enema. I offered to help, but he sent me on home, saying he had everything under control." Two hours later, horrified night watchman Walter Pleuger found Friedrich lying lifeless under a mound of muck, his body visible only from the knees down. "I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said. "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very dangerous activity and not something that should be attempted alone."
 
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2,387
Location
Chicago area
The shadows and lighting in the picture appear correct - it doesn't appear to be fake like the famous one of Lee Harvey Oswald in his back yard holding his weapons .
 
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23,591
This photo of Operation Dumbo Poop was definitely taken in a German zoo at night under the there in April typical midnight sun. The background scenery screams Central Europe. The guy who took the picture of the event is still incarcerated for not helping poor Friedrich. The turd looks about as real as Trump's hair, so yes, this story must be all true.
 

Kestas

Staff member
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13,958
Location
The Motor City
I can't imagine the photographer snapped the picture moments after the incident, since it's reported the body was discovered at least an hour later. And if the picture was taken over an hour later, why is the elephant still in his "poop" position?
 
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