Mark: I would propose that you have the sad feelings you do because you realize how much these beings mean to you, how devastated you would be if anything happened, and that you are subconsciously preparing your self against the possibility of loss.
I am not a psychologist, but I have the same feelings as you and attribute them to that reason. For example, I found myself preparing mentally for my father's death some five to eight years before I thought it would actually happen, even though, as far as I knew, he was in good health. It was a very good thing, as a year and a half later he was diagnosed with the worst form of leukemia, and five weeks after that he was buried. If I had not envisioned having to cope with his death, dealing with it would have been much more difficult than it already was.
As it is now, I look around and recognize my emotional anchors, the people whose existance keeps me on an even keel psychologically (even though I am middle aged). One is my Mother, the other is my wife. I try to envision how I would react if either one were lost. If I lost one or the other I can envision getting back on my feet with the support of the remaining one, but if I were to lose both, especially if it were in similar time frames, I can't imagine coping. I don't even want to think about this scenario, but it would be even worse to have it strike and be completely unprepared emotionally.
Unfortunately, people can and do suffer such losses, and somehow they manage to go on. I believe it is feelings like you are experiencing that help make it possible.
P.S. The other side of this is realizing that your own demise could have the same effect on others. This forces you to conduct your life in a different way, do better planning, saving, organizing etc.
[ February 14, 2004, 01:16 AM: Message edited by: TooManyWheels ]
