Losing my mind over trying to buy a home!

[saberz]

Anyone else ever go through hoops and jump through fire trying to get a house? I live in NJ and was recently married on 10/9/2009. We had a contract filled out and put the deposit down on a Condo and were supposed to close on 10/14. Well after the wedding we received a phone call stating that there was a deed restriction in the Condo Associations master deed that prohibits FHA mortgages etc. So they were doing a vote and what not but weren't going to have the law changed for several months due to attorney reviews and owner voting etc. We wouldn't be able to move in at earliest until June!!?

So we were able to get out of the contract thankfully due to the seller being at fault and not reporting/providing this information at the time of sale. Our hearts broken(it was a nice place), we went on the hunt again for while and came across an even bigger Condo for the same price in the same town but in a different area. Threw the bid down on this one and have been waiting 2 weeks and finally get a response and we were counter offered by a "wide" margin. I think the Bank is full of **** personally. We are newly weds stuck at her parents house and it should not be this way.

I offered in 177,500 initially and now pushing it out of our safety zone(its a [censored] condo for crikes sake, can't buy a decent home anywhere near the price) at 182000. The property is going for 187k. I am hoping they take our 182 because anymore and we are out of a place again.


Anyone else deal with heartbreak like this? It's been over a month since we've been married and no where to live really. We are imposing on her family and its kind of them to allow us to stay but it shouldn't have had to be this way :|

 

[bepperb]

It is a huge mess. I assume you are buying from a bank, because usually 48 hours is all we've given an offer and to wait two weeks on a homeowner would be ridiculous.

I'm surprised they're jerking you around over a relatively small amount of money, but if I were you and doing this I wouldn't sweat a few thousand dollars if you like the place. Five grand over 30 years is less than a hundred bucks a month, so if you really like the place it's probably worth it.

Sooner or later you'll get what you want. Be patient and let the market come to you. Best of luck, three percent below asking should be a slam dunk, but I would have said that about a 177 offer as well (6% below asking) and it seems you're dealing with someone who owes more than that, or the buracracy of a bank who doesn't realize they're paying two grand a month in interest and taxes.

 

[saberz]

Yeah I worked out the money and immediately threw in the counter offer.

Well the deal with this place is that its a short sale. The couple is getting divorced and your dealing with 5 heads. The Wife has to provide the Ex-Husband with the offer, and her father is involved in the dealings. Secondly the real estate agent is a "friend" of theirs. So after they communicated with one another they then notified the bank(the bank should have been notified first). They have no say really in a short sale as the bank determines what offer is accepted, but they are trying to fluff the price up.

The couple bought it 2 years ago for 255k and its at 187k I believe.

 

[eljefino]

1) are you prequalified for X dollars (with FHA)? Can you get prequalified somewhere else, I don't believe it costs anything/much as they drool over your business.

2) Are there comparable dwellings not under HOA/ deed restrictions? Those will come back to bite you when you want to, say, change your oil in the parking lot. I know condos are kind of cursed with this structure.

 

[Gary Allan]

Suffer the cohabitation and bank every dime in avoided costs so you can deal from a position of strength. You're suffering ..but you're winning every month.

..or forget buying and rent. Starting in 10 years any property is going to be losing more money than it already does. From there on out, unless there's some massive immigration, there will be plenty of properties everywhere at bargain prices. I think I'd really weigh the alleged tax advantages at that point. I think at some point ownership may be a forced thing as opposed to an advantage thing. If you don't choose to loose the money on the purchase, you'll be eaten alive elsewhere.

 

[saberz]

Originally Posted By: eljefino
1) are you prequalified for X dollars (with FHA)? Can you get prequalified somewhere else, I don't believe it costs anything/much as they drool over your business.

2) Are there comparable dwellings not under HOA/ deed restrictions? Those will come back to bite you when you want to, say, change your oil in the parking lot. I know condos are kind of cursed with this structure.


I'm pre-qualified above and beyond what I am offering on the place, but pre-qualification doesn't take into account what your payout is every month on cars etc. I know my limitations and thats why I am picking under 200k for a piece of property. That also factor's in a low tax per year. I could go even higher but when you go higher the towns we are looking in(and adjacent ones too) have high taxes, talking like 7k+ a year on top of all utilities and it adds up quickly.

All the Condo's we have looked at are either:

1-Small and OverPriced.
2-In very poor shape and Overpriced
3-Good shape and good price.

The two we saw(after maybe a hundred or so condo's and houses over 8 months) were the best. The second Condo is a in a great location, far enough from highways and downtown but close enough so we can get to work or major city areas. The town is highly commercial so taxes are low. The second Condo(we are bidding on now) is bigger, with 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a built in laundry room +washer & dryer for the same price.

As far as renting goes, its a worse situation because my wife(at the time fiance) didn't listen to me about getting a dog. I told her to put it off until we are all settled in and one day on my way home from work she called me and said she bought a Mini-Schnauzer. While he's adorable and a great companion, the dog has basically locked us out of 90% of apartments. Most are NO PETS, or CATS ONLY up here in the areas we are looking at, unless we up our range to what our mortgage payment would be.

I don't know about you, but for 1400+ a month, I would rather own something, than nothing with the risk of getting kicked out should the owner change their mind, or want to rent it to a friend etc. I want a house more than anything but for the time being I can do with a Condo.

The issue with her parents is that we don't have any real privacy etc. If I come home from a long day at work, racking my brain on problems(Tier 2 Pharmaceutical Software Support) and I want to lay down and relax with 2 advils, I can't. I hear whining from her mother and same thing if she does it. Her father is fine but he's gone for a week at a time. Her mother doesn't feel its "nice" for her to sit alone in her own house.

So I "have" to get out because I'm liable to go postal soon lol.

 

[Gary Allan]

Oh, and the pressures will mount as time moves forward. No doubt in my mind. The problems are usually more pronounced if the women are from different families. Only one can rule the roost. One has to retreat into somewhat obscurity. You're just objecting to tap dancing to a different woman. Men don't usually have issues with each other too much due to the aforementioned reasons. They typically only rule the garage and the basement ..maybe a man cave in the house proper.

 

[Smokescreen]

""...I'm pre-qualified above and beyond what I am offering on the place, but pre-qualification doesn't take into account what your payout is every month on cars etc...."

You are a smart man. If the rest of the USA did this they would be in a lot better shape than they are now. Most of Canadas banks do this already for potential buyers and you have to make it a conscious choice to over extend yourself.

Its too bad you couldn't get her mom to take the dog, then she'd have company when husbands away, and you'd have more options...heck you could even get her to dogsit "temporarily" and slide into a place and then vyou just 'visit' the dog that would eventually become her moms...win win

 

[TooManyWheels]

Originally Posted By: Anies


As far as renting goes, its a worse situation because my wife(at the time fiance) didn't listen to me about getting a dog. I told her to put it off until we are all settled in and one day on my way home from work she called me and said she bought a Mini-Schnauzer. While he's adorable and a great companion, the dog has basically locked us out of 90% of apartments.

...So I "have" to get out because I'm liable to go postal soon lol.


Getting into a house may be the least of your problems.

 

[mrsilv04]

Originally Posted By: TooManyWheels
Originally Posted By: Anies


As far as renting goes, its a worse situation because my wife(at the time fiance) didn't listen to me about getting a dog. I told her to put it off until we are all settled in and one day on my way home from work she called me and said she bought a Mini-Schnauzer. While he's adorable and a great companion, the dog has basically locked us out of 90% of apartments.

...So I "have" to get out because I'm liable to go postal soon lol.


Getting into a house may be the least of your problems.


Agreed. It appears that someone may have the problem of acting on impulse and only looking at the short term..... without giving any consideration to the long term.

Those little dogs can go 15 years...

That said, I don't see an issue with going an extra $5,000 on something that you're happy with. People pay an extra $5,000 on a new car to get what they want. What's the place appraising at right now?

I think you've looked enough, and know what you're doing here.

 

[Steve S]

You will have everything go through when it is supposed to be. I have bought houses and investment properties and some didn't go through and some did and so far so good.

 

[Gary Allan]

Originally Posted By: Steve S
You will have everything go through when it is supposed to be. I have bought houses and investment properties and some didn't go through and some did and so far so good.


Never force a deal. If you have to tap dance or stretch too far, it's Nature's way of saying "Don't".

 

[TooManyWheels]

Originally Posted By: Gary Allan
Originally Posted By: Steve S
You will have everything go through when it is supposed to be. I have bought houses and investment properties and some didn't go through and some did and so far so good.


Never force a deal. If you have to tap dance or stretch too far, it's Nature's way of saying "Don't".


Absolutely. And that goes for any kind of deal, including relationships.

 

[mrsilv04]

Anies-

If you think you're frustrated with this.... try *building* a house....

There's a reason why most folks only do it *once*.