Is It Alright To Receive And Not Give?

[Triple_Se7en]

My wife thinks so! Every year she comes home with 8-10 gifts from workmates and we have a policy in our house with secondary relatives and close friends outside of the workplace, not to exchange Christmas Presents.

I told her to please stop accepting these gifts, without extending a gift back, which we both DO NOT!.
So who's right.... Me or Her?
Just me or her replies are sufficient.

Me?
Her?
Take your pick.

 

[TTK]

Her

 

[Doc8404]

She is in my opinion. Happens the same thing in our house. We don't exchange gifts with adults. People still tend to give. We donate a lot to rescue missions and shelters.

 

[Donald]

Well they say better to give than receive.

At work my manager gave everyone a bottle of wine. I am planning on a thank-you card but not a gift.

Our area also did a Yankee Gift swap. Your bring one gift and go home with one gift.

Maybe tell wife to suggest that for next year. And set limit like a $10 gift.

 

[NHHEMI]

I don't think she is wrong to accept if she does it so she doesn't hurt their feelings. I would not think it right if she did it to get a haul so to speak however. (NOT saying she is doing that!!!!!).

For me I don't like getting gifts from those I do not give them too. In her shoes I would ask people not to give to me.

 

[fdcg27]

If you know that you'll be given trinkets from your co-workers, then it's only right that you reciprocate.
To do otherwise makes one look greedy and cheap.

 

[crazyoildude]

No Problem a sure way of fixing the situation is to let her continue to get gifts and then take them from her and give them to your younger girlfriend...

I sure hope my wife don't see this....lol

 

[Claud]

My wife and I don't send Christmas cards, instead we make a donation to a worthy cause. We make that clear to friends and family well in advance. Maybe your wife could adopt a similar policy at work.

Claud.

 

[spasm3]

You do whats in your heart.

You do as you feel inclined, let her do as she is inclined. Don't keep her from doing what she feels is right for her, or this will lead to bigger problems.

 

[eljefino]

Originally Posted By: Claud
My wife and I don't send Christmas cards, instead we make a donation to a worthy cause. We make that clear to friends and family well in advance. Maybe your wife could adopt a similar policy at work.

Claud.


The human fund. Money For people.

 

[cjcride]

Originally Posted By: fdcg27
If you know that you'll be given trinkets from your co-workers, then it's only right that you reciprocate.
To do otherwise makes one look greedy and cheap.

Agreed.

 

[bioburner]

Was on GMA yesterday that giving down was ok but don't worry about giving up. Another words, don't worry about giving the boss anything if they give you something.
Our family was doing nothing but trading gift cards so that ended.
I gave a needed good Welch Allen stethoscope to the fire and rescue dept and a couple video discs that was on the library's wish list with a gift card that was given to me to Amazon.

 

[Mr Nice]

Nothing worse than getting [censored] you don't want and being forced to buy present(s).

So American to celebrate the holidays by spending money.

 

[hatt]

Seems like an awful rigid "policy." I suspect your wife has a slightly different policy outside of the house and gets her friends a little something.

I suppose if the people giving gifts know the "policy" and still want to buy her gifts then it's fine.

 

[DuckRyder]

Who made the policy...?

 

[Colt45ws]

This is why I don't like Christmas. I feel like a piece of poop for not getting people presents who get me presents. I just don't know what to get people and its so stressful.
Eventually people stop giving me gifts and then I can relax.

 

[spasm3]

Way overthinking this. Those who give in the spirit of Christmas, expect nothing in return, its the joy of giving.

For this to work, its ok to receive. I enjoy giving this time of year, i also get gifts i don't expect from people, i don't fret. I give them a genuine thank you and tell them how much I appreciate them thinking of me.

You could do something for the office as a whole, instead of individual gifts. Perhaps a ham tray or cookie tray with a carafe or two of coffee would be appreciated.

In short, learn to receive as well as give, and don't stress over it. Those who enjoy giving, aren't fretting about getting anything in return.

 

[bdcardinal]

Originally Posted By: Colt45ws
This is why I don't like Christmas. I feel like a piece of poop for not getting people presents who get me presents. I just don't know what to get people and its so stressful.
Eventually people stop giving me gifts and then I can relax.


Luckily I am absolutely terrible to shop for. I end up with gift cards usually. Pretty much the only thing I am doing this year present wise is paying for the airfare so my mom can go to Florida for her 70th birthday in February. She wants to be with family.

 

[Bandito440]

Force your wife to return the gifts. Make sure you're really putting your foot down. Demand it, because it's the policy. /s

Someone went out of their way to do a nice thing. Find a way to give thanks. At least write them a note.

 

[supton]

Originally Posted By: Triple_Se7en

So who's right.... Me or Her?


To quote Ray and Tom, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" That may influence your decision.

To me, a gift given with an expectation isn't much of a gift.

I've been buying less and less, and I'm about to start telling people to not buy me stuff. Yeah it's nice to receive things, but I really don't need anymore knickknacks that are just going to get tossed out.

My boss and I were just talking about this; his MIL was after a gift idea for him, so she needled my bosses wife into asking for a $25 idea. My boss is of the opinion, "I have disposable income--if I need something that costs $25, then I already have it. Heck, if it was only 'wanted'--I'd still have it already." There is nothing left on the want or need list that is "cheap". I think I agree with him; gift cards can be nice, I appreciate the thought: but honestly let's just skip the formality and simply enjoy one another's company--if we can't do that then we're probably not really friends, and we really didn't need that exchange, eh?