How Dad Are You?

[john_pifer]

I feel like we have lots of dads here who are probably full of annoying dad jokes!

Personally I’ll be annoying my wife & kids with these as often as possible!

 

[Astro14]

I'm pretty much 100%, then...

 

[charbaby]

My jokes would offend your mom & dad. They would feel violated when they heard the punchline.

 

[BMWTurboDzl]

When I was a kid my mom would occasionally have a neighbor take us to school since we attended the same school as his daughter who was a few grades ahead. He was full of dad jokes non stop. As as 7 yr old I thought they were hilarious.

 

[SuperSalad]

My jokes would offend your mom & dad. They would feel violated when they heard the punchline.

My jokes aren't like that, but I'm sure they'll get there once they're teenagers.

 

[Duffyjr]

One of my favs.

Someone says "it's driving me crazy".

My response: I bet that's a short trip.

 

[wwillson]

If you ask my kids, they would likely tell you 100%

 

[IndyIan]

Yeah, pretty much 100%, the kids don't think the amputate joke is all that funny...

 

[BornSlippy]

When my kids tell me they are hungry I ask them "Didn't you eat yesterday?".

Eye rolls ensue.

 

[joekingcorvette]

I can't find my ....fill in the blank. It's in the same place you left it. Annoying? Yes, very annoying.
A the job...... I need a break. "you got a break when we hired ya." hahahahaha.

 

[javacontour]

One of my favs.

Someone says "it's driving me crazy".

My response: I bet that's a short trip.

I give the benefit of the doubt and ask if it's a short trip or a long trip.

 

[jws555]

"You make a better door than a window." when someone, especially a kid, gets between you and the tv.

"Mooooooo" when driving past cows.

 

[john_pifer]

Good stuff guys. Im stealing some of y’all’s material and filing away for the future!

 

[jws555]

"Do you think money grows on trees?" preceeded and followed by "No"

 

[jeepman3071]

Not a dad, but I still say these.

 

[chrlsful]

"keep practicin..."
8^ )
"U might make that lofty status in 10 yrs"

How dad are you is the latest: another karen, yeah right boomer
Just pull out the "wippersnaper" comment our folks did (b. 1920 - 30)

 

[ripcord]

When my kids tell me they are hungry I ask them "Didn't you eat yesterday?".

Eye rolls ensue.

One that really used to annoy my kids...

"I'm hungry."

"Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."

 

[Aredeeem]

Well, when I would come out with a Dad word of wisdom my kids would say incredulously “What? We’ve never heard anything like that before !” To which I would dutifully respond, “Well, you can’t say that anymore, so just do it!”

 

[john_pifer]

One that really used to annoy my kids...

"I'm hungry."

"Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."

This is gold. Definitely gonna steal that one!

 

[KGMtech]

You cold? stand in the corner, they're usually 90 degrees.