Hit By a Drunk Driver Tonight

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Had a very similar accident with a guy leaving a bar. He ran. Police couldn't find him, but I did.

I learned a lot about hit and run laws (or lack thereof) when this happened.

Glad to read everyone is OK. That's what matters.
 
Originally Posted by Donald
Originally Posted by RazorsEdge
The most important thing is you all are OK.

Second, anyone who is drinking and driving deserves to be behind bars a long, long time so I hope he likes the view of steel bars as he'll be seeing them soon enough.

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I am certainly not defending the guy, but tossing anyone in jail who drinks & drives is not the solution. Treatment for their addiction is a much better way forward.


Treatment is all well and good. But the perpetrator also deserves to be punished. I feel that at least a few weeks in jail is warranted for a drunk hit & run. Even when nobody (thankfully) was hurt.
 
I have a good friend and former coworker who's wife was killed at a red light at a 30 mph intersection by a drunk driver.
Fact is drinking and driving IS legal but the problem is that people don't know when they are impaired.
IMHO in my town cell phone use is a much bigger danger on the streets because it's a much larger ratio.
Both are bad news.
 
This day and age with services available like Uber, there's No Excuse to drink and drive - period.

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My wife and I are going to speak to a lawyer on Monday.

Before this accident, I had no tolerance for people who drive drunk. Alcoholism is not a disease. I feel like calling it a disease is distracting from reality and only enabling alcoholics. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my own father-in-law use that excuse "I can't help it that I've got a disease." He used that line for years as a cop-out to avoid responsibility and keep drinking. It took having a stroke for him to finally come to terms with it being a choice. He quite cold turkey the next day and hasn't had a drop in over a year. Unfortunately, too much damage has already been done after 25 years of drinking everyday. He has advanced staged kidney failure and will most likely need dialysis soon. His liver is severely damaged. He also had another, more serious stroke earlier this week. He's still admitted in the hospital pending rehabilitation.
 
Very happy to hear you are both ok. Only been a few days so take it easy. I know a few that have had aches and pains come up days later.

Follow this through the legal system please.
My case was April of 1995 hit by a dui driver uninsured Sunday afternoon. He was a habitual offender and threatened witnesses at the scene after hitting me at the driver door, not quite a tee-bone at over 55 mph. I was lucky and blessed to survive and walk again.
Five cars total in the crash.
This was just going to fall through the cracks with minimal penalty and my brain fog wasn't helping but an attorney not even related to the case stood up and helped me get front and center to get this driver off the road for some time. I learned afterward, stats show DUI drivers typically drive 3 dozen to over 50 times before ever getting caught or pulled over.

Thank You for your Service !
 
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Joni Mitchell describes it best for me "I've looked at life from both sides now" .....
For 30 yrs I was that drunk driver, an alcoholic (practicing), For the last 30 yrs I have actively facilitated/attended AA meetings and try daily to save the lives of alcoholics and their victims.
I'm happy you escaped relatively unscathed. If you knew the sobriety of the oncoming drivers as they pass you it would scare the c rap out of you.

All the best.

Bob
 
I was a dead drunk driver for 20 years. I am now sober 33 years, not a drop.
Am I responsible for my disease? You can argue either way.
But I am responsible for my recovery. That's my opinion and my experience.
I am one of the lucky ones.

Because of my alcoholism, I am eternally grateful you and your daughter are OK.
I could easily have been the other driver and I know it.
And I never wanna be that other driver. Period.
 
Originally Posted by JeffKeryk
I was a dead drunk driver for 20 years. I am now sober 33 years, not a drop.
Am I responsible for my disease? You can argue either way.
But I am responsible for my recovery. That's my opinion and my experience.
I am one of the lucky ones.

Because of my alcoholism, I am eternally grateful you and your daughter are OK.
I could easily have been the other driver and I know it.
And I never wanna be that other driver. Period.


JeffKeryk: good to hear that you are well. My coworker was a functional alcoholic for years. Cost him his job and later drove him to kill himself
frown.gif
 
I like hearing stories of sobriety. It's a show of shear will to improve oneself which is inspiring.

I don't agree that alcoholism is a disease. It is an addiction, but addiction is not a disease. It could very well be semantics, but I haven't had a good experience with family members who viewed it as a disease. It just enabled them with the thought of "Oh, it's a disease therefore it's not my fault. I can keep drinking and just blame it on a disease." I'm not saying that's the case for everybody because it's obviously not. In my mind though, a disease is something you can't control. It's something with which you don't have a choice. Cancer is a disease. Alcoholism is not. You make a choice in turning up the bottle. You make a choice in driving drunk, and you can make the choice to quit. Any alcoholic can overcome their addiction with enough motivation and will power. Therefore, it's not a disease.

I lost a good friend that I served with in the Army. He was a tax lawyer in New York prior to 9/11. His brother was an accountant in one of the top floors of the south tower. His body was never recovered. He then gave up his lawyer career to join the Army. He did 2 tours in Iraq, and 1 more in Afghanistan. After coming home from Afghanistan, he was driving home when a drunk driver blew through a stop sign, t-boned him, causing his car to flip over on the curb. He died instantly. He survived all of those tours overseas just to get killed by a drunk here at home.

I have been totally wasted drunk on many occasions. I've been staggering, out of my own mind, speaking jibberish, and so on. Yet, I still had enough thought to know not to drive.
 
I think that it is a matter of semantics. Some people have brain malfunctions that are every bit a problem as having a physical malfunction. Think of a malfunctioning brain as an electronic circuit that has faulty wiring. Just like cancer, no amount of motivation and will power can fix those faulty circuits. Can a person that has a malfunctioning brain make correct choices? Maybe some would be more content if addictions were labeled as an illness or ailment vs. disease? No matter the label, often it takes much more than "willing it away" to overcome the challenge.

RDY4WAR, correct me, but didn't you state that you have PTSD? I know it exists at many different levels, because some with PTSD commit suicide. Would you be offended if I suggested that PTSD could simply be cured by pulling up your bootstraps and manning up? You should be. PTSD is serious stuff that needs correct treatment. It's not about choices to be "normal". Preaching to the choir, I know.

I agree with the rest of you that DUI, phone distracted driving, etc. should be taken extremely seriously and people need to take responsibility for their actions - treatment, punishment, every aspect. Just my 2 Cents.

Kudos to Papa Bear and JeffKeryk for sharing real life experience.
 
Originally Posted by doitmyself
I think that it is a matter of semantics. Some people have brain malfunctions that are every bit a problem as having a physical malfunction. Think of a malfunctioning brain as an electronic circuit that has faulty wiring. Just like cancer, no amount of motivation and will power can fix those faulty circuits. Can a person that has a malfunctioning brain make correct choices? Maybe some would be more content if addictions were labeled as an illness or ailment vs. disease? No matter the label, often it takes much more than "willing it away" to overcome the challenge.

RDY4WAR, correct me, but didn't you state that you have PTSD? I know it exists at many different levels, because some with PTSD commit suicide. Would you be offended if I suggested that PTSD could simply be cured by pulling up your bootstraps and manning up? You should be. PTSD is serious stuff that needs correct treatment. It's not about choices to be "normal". Preaching to the choir, I know.

I agree with the rest of you that DUI, phone distracted driving, etc. should be taken extremely seriously and people need to take responsibility for their actions - treatment, punishment, every aspect. Just my 2 Cents.

Kudos to Papa Bear and JeffKeryk for sharing real life experience.


I can agree with a lot of what you said here. Yes, I have PTSD. I struggle with suicidal thoughts, flashbacks, and night terrors. I don't let it control me though. I take proper steps to ensure my triggers don't negatively effect others around me. I can't stand it when some other veterans get mad at neighbors for shooting off fireworks, for example. It's not my place to inhibit their fun because of what I'm dealing with. That's why the wife and I usually book a cabin at the lake or something of that sort for 4th of July so I'm away from it all while still enjoying the holiday. I didn't choose to have PTSD, for example. It's something I have to deal with.

What you say makes sense, and I will take it to heart. I can understanding the theory of brain malfunctions. I still don't feel any different about punishments for drunk drivers.
 
Originally Posted by Donald
Originally Posted by RazorsEdge
The most important thing is you all are OK.

Second, anyone who is drinking and driving deserves to be behind bars a long, long time so I hope he likes the view of steel bars as he'll be seeing them soon enough.

49.gif



I am certainly not defending the guy, but tossing anyone in jail who drinks & drives is not the solution. Treatment for their addiction is a much better way forward.


Majority of drunk drivers been doing it for years just been caught finally. Good many continue. Treatment is not the answer but one of many paths forward in trying. Jail works too as a path for a bit too.
 
Originally Posted by RDY4WAR
My wife and I are going to speak to a lawyer on Monday.

Before this accident, I had no tolerance for people who drive drunk. Alcoholism is not a disease. I feel like calling it a disease is distracting from reality and only enabling alcoholics. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my own father-in-law use that excuse "I can't help it that I've got a disease." He used that line for years as a cop-out to avoid responsibility and keep drinking. It took having a stroke for him to finally come to terms with it being a choice. He quite cold turkey the next day and hasn't had a drop in over a year. Unfortunately, too much damage has already been done after 25 years of drinking everyday. He has advanced staged kidney failure and will most likely need dialysis soon. His liver is severely damaged. He also had another, more serious stroke earlier this week. He's still admitted in the hospital pending rehabilitation.



I agree 1000% ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Go to a children's hospital. .. . Tell me what choice they have.... Zero.



I do believe the cognitive aspect of someone drinking etc certainly does need a lot of counseling, therapy, meetings, and serious changes in thinking, behavior, choices, and truly making amends with NO caveats or excuses or reasons.

All of that never done even if the person never drinks etc again still has major behavioral and cognitive issues that will continue to be very serious issue for that person. In saying that.... There are underlying behavioral and cognitive and even some neurological issues that must be dealt with.

I just do not believe those underlying issues constitutes a "disease".... Maybe a condition... That does require help from a number of people and professionals too at times.
 
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Also OP -
Wish your father in law the best for comfort and recovery too.

Thank You to all that drive sober
and those that are getting help,
have or are in process of recovering from the drink.

smile.gif
 
Originally Posted by bbhero
Originally Posted by Donald
Originally Posted by RazorsEdge
The most important thing is you all are OK.

Second, anyone who is drinking and driving deserves to be behind bars a long, long time so I hope he likes the view of steel bars as he'll be seeing them soon enough.

49.gif



I am certainly not defending the guy, but tossing anyone in jail who drinks & drives is not the solution. Treatment for their addiction is a much better way forward.


Easy to say that.... It all does not matter until that individual kills someone. . .

This coming from me who had my dad drive drunk many, many, many, many, many, many times... He was so drunk when I was 5 years old and I was in the back seat I asked him if he was ok.... We were going into the ditch a number of times... And I was too young to know why...


Glad everyone is ok.
Donald is right. Jail doesn't do much. We need to find and support rehabilitation centers and mental health. I work on local campaigns in my area and am studying addiction studies. Locking alcohol and drug offenders up doesn't usually do much. However if they kill someone with their actions they should definitely be punished. But before it gets to that point a good rehab program and plenty of support goes a long way. But no matter what we do the only people who get better are the ones who realize they want to get better and put the effort into it.
 
We have an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday.

In the meantime, we didn't waste any time finding a replacement. We went car searching today and found this 2012 Mustang at a Chevy dealer. The wife and I both test drove it, the wife fell in love with it, and a few hours later we were driving it home. We paid $8,250 cash total out the door after taxes, title, and fees. It has the 3.7L V6, 6-speed auto, convertible, and 129k miles. Here's a cell phone picture. I'll try to get some better pictures posted soon.

[Linked Image]
 
I have rented those 'Stangs. Makes me wanna go to the Ford dealer...
Enjoy your beautiful car and I am thankful you and your daughter are well.
 
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