Faking status for military discounts

[AZjeff]

My dad served in the Army for 2 years during the Korean "conflict". Probably because he had just graduated from Penn State with a degree in Animal Husbandry he was stationed in Albany (?) NY inspecting meat that was going overseas. He never talked about his service, he thought it was menial compared to the men doing the fighting. He never attempted to get any benefits. In his 60s he found out he was entitled to VA benefits including hearing aids that he sorely needed. From then on he had GOOD good aids. After dad died we found artifacts of his service in a cardboard box.

A question for the ones in this thread who served; What is the reason that some who serve in whatever capacity carry that service as their identity for the rest of their life and others who served the same function never mention having been in the military? It doesn't matter if a guy was a mechanic or out on long range patrol, some wear it on their sleeve and some tuck it away. Thanks for any thoughts on this.

 

[Pew]

A question for the ones in this thread who served; What is the reason that some who serve in whatever capacity carry that service as their identity for the rest of their life and others who served the same function never mention having been in the military? It doesn't matter if a guy was a mechanic or out on long range patrol, some wear it on their sleeve and some tuck it away. Thanks for any thoughts on this.

I've always attributed it to individuality; no patterns. Sometimes they may not feel like they did much, or what they did was so severe that it's locked away in a mental vault. I like talking to vets and their experience but never push the subject if they don't freely talk about it.

 

[danstraylee]

I’m a veteran and never take advantage of discounts or VA benefits. I believe those less fortunate than myself that served our great country are more deserving.

 

[I<3oil]

Up to age 62, I spent all (including being born in a military hospital) but four years associated with Army military installations in a variety of locations as a dependent, service member and civilian.

Never heard the term dependapotamus. As a kid, I was known as a dependent. Had dog tags to prove it and get into the PX until I could get an ID card. By the time my spouse and kids came along, they were family members and referred to as such.

To me dependapotamus is demeaning any way you look at it and is an unacceptable term to describe family members.

It's a newer term, mainly from GWOT but it was also used in the mid-late 90s. Since there really wasn't a full-scale war after DS before GWOT, the occurrence was a lot lower. Also, social media has helped bring it to light since anyone can post anything at anytime anywhere.

 

[I<3oil]

I've always attributed it to individuality; no patterns. Sometimes they may not feel like they did much, or what they did was so severe that it's locked away in a mental vault. I like talking to vets and their experience but never push the subject if they don't freely talk about it.

Yep, some people make it their life, others of us don't. Usually the ones being the loudest are the biggest offenders of not having done much and they have to boast about it.

 

[I<3oil]

I’m a veteran and never take advantage of discounts or VA benefits. I believe those less fortunate than myself that served our great country are more deserving.

If you served and are considered a veteran by government/VA standards, those benefits and discounts are given to you as part of your service. If you don't use them, they just sit there for nothing. There's a gigantic difference betwixt using discounts/benefits and demanding someone give them to you because of your service.

 

[Vexorg]

If you served and are considered a veteran by government/VA standards, those benefits and discounts are given to you as part of your service. If you don't use them, they just sit there for nothing. There's a gigantic difference betwixt using discounts/benefits and demanding someone give them to you because of your service.

100% this.
Use what you have earned.

 

[Astro14]

In a sense it’s stolen valor……shame on her!

That’s how I feel about it, too.

 

[Astro14]

For the record, I never ask.

If somebody asks me if I’m a veteran, or retired, I’ll tell them yes, and I have a retired ID (along with a pension), but I never ask for a military discount.

 

[Dave Hess]

My brother is a former Navy Corpsman and served in Iraq.

He is now working as a VA nurse and deals with lots of family members of veterans that are worried their veteran father passes away and his disability check stops.

Sad but true.

 

[The_Jeff]

This thread has a big conflation between actual deserved VA benefits required by law vs promotional, commercial benefits volunteered by private companies who can set whatever terms they want.

And from the original post, Mrs Dependa sounds pushy and entitled. If she didn't get her 10% from her "once removed" status she'd be demanding gluten free fried dough or something else to feel important.

There isn't enough pushback on this, same as there isn't enough on fake emotional support dogs, a similar blight on society. But who wants to be the jerk to wrongfully estimate the person's intentions?

 

[y_p_w]

SHE didn't serve. Her husband did.

Reminds me of a scene from the book The Right Stuff. A group of wives of test pilots were at some event hosted by the USAF but without their husbands. An officer asked them to line up by highest rank, at which point they looked at each other and lined up according to their husbands’ respective ranks. He then showed that he was trying to prove a point and said they had no rank. The wives looked at him like he must be new or something.

 

[Astro14]

This thread has a big conflation between actual deserved VA benefits required by law vs promotional, commercial benefits volunteered by private companies who can set whatever terms they want.

And from the original post, Mrs Dependa sounds pushy and entitled. If she didn't get her 10% from her "once removed" status she'd be demanding gluten free fried dough or something else to feel important.

There isn't enough pushback on this, same as there isn't enough on fake emotional support dogs, a similar blight on society. But who wants to be the jerk to wrongfully estimate the person's intentions?

I pushed back once - I was the “jerk” who called somebody on their entitlement. It went ugly quickly.

Circa 2012, boarding in SEA, I was the FO operating the flight. I happened to be standing by the gate agent, checking on an issue, when she called for “Active Duty Military” to begin boarding. It was very clear that she said, “Active Duty”.

Guy and his partner walk up, he’s wearing jeans and a sweater, has a full beard and long hair. Several months worth of growth beyond a military haircut, even for SOF, who have relaxed standards.

I said, quietly, “You’re not Active Duty”. It was a statement, not a question, because the evidence was clear.

He blows up, “Who the #### are you to question my service!?” he yells.

“She called for Active Duty Military - do you have a CAC card?” I replied

“Look buddy, I served! I’m military!” He yells. Now making a scene.

“But you’re not Active Duty, are you. You would have one of these if you were.” - I hold up my CAC card. Showing my current pay grade (I was no kid at the time).

Now it goes personal, “Why are you being such a ####!” He says.

“Because you’re pretending to be active duty, when you’re not. The privilege is for those currently on Active Duty, not veterans or former service members. As an Active Reservist, I wouldn’t step into this line unless I was on active orders. It’s an integrity thing.”

“#### you!” He replies.

You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone was now watching.

But he went back to his boarding group.

I don’t regret doing it - but I might not have been so blunt if I had to do it again.

To me, it’s in the same category as stolen valor. Pretending to be something you are not, to gain privilege. It’s scummy. It’s distasteful. It’s fraudulent.

If the gate agent had, “now boarding all veterans” I would have said, “Thanks for your service”.

But it was crystal clear, “Now boarding Active Duty Military.”

 

[DCDG]

My poppy’s metals was field promoted to a lieutenant discharged at his rank of staff sergeant.

 

[danstraylee]

If you served and are considered a veteran by government/VA standards, those benefits and discounts are given to you as part of your service. If you don't use them, they just sit there for nothing.

VA resources are sparse here where I live. I only did a 4 year stint during the cold war. I have friends who chose to be lifers and some doing tours during horrible wartime that messed them up.

I came out and got very good paying jobs/career, medical and financial benefits in the private sector. If I take advantage of the benefits afforded to me by the VA someone else goes without. So no I cannot in good conscience do this. It just makes sense for me not to utilize benefits that someone else has a need greater than my own.

As far as discounts and DMV are concerned I refuse to jump through the hoops required to get a "veteran plate" or show a copy of my DD214 for discounts. That just screams "look at me".

I know what I did for my great country and that's enough. On the flip side it is none of my business to shame someone who is utilizing stolen valor to make themselves look better. They have to live with it not me.

 

[I<3oil]

VA resources are sparse here where I live. I only did a 4 year stint during the cold war. I have friends who chose to be lifers and some doing tours during horrible wartime that messed them up.

I came out and got very good paying jobs/career, medical and financial benefits in the private sector. If I take advantage of the benefits afforded to me by the VA someone else goes without. So no I cannot in good conscience do this. It just makes sense for me not to utilize benefits that someone else has a need greater than my own.

As far as discounts and DMV are concerned I refuse to jump through the hoops required to get a "veteran plate" or show a copy of my DD214 for discounts. That just screams "look at me".

I know what I did for my great country and that's enough. On the flip side it is none of my business to shame someone who is utilizing stolen valor to make themselves look better. They have to live with it not me.

Considering we’re on a site where 98% of the users try to get the best deal or save money anyway they can, this seems to run upstream of conventional wisdom, again, regarding the mentality of the site. It may scream look at you sometimes but if those discounts and benefits save you money, some of them into the thousands of dollars a year, why not take advantage of it? You’re not taking anything away from anyone else. If you really just don’t want to “jump through hoops” as you say, that is absolutely up to you.

 

[I<3oil]

I pushed back once - I was the “jerk” who called somebody on their entitlement. It went ugly quickly.

Circa 2012, boarding in SEA, I was the FO operating the flight. I happened to be standing by the gate agent, checking on an issue, when she called for “Active Duty Military” to begin boarding. It was very clear that she said, “Active Duty”.

Guy and his partner walk up, he’s wearing jeans and a sweater, has a full beard and long hair. Several months worth of growth beyond a military haircut, even for SOF, who have relaxed standards.

I said, quietly, “You’re not Active Duty”. It was a statement, not a question, because the evidence was clear.

He blows up, “Who the #### are you to question my service!?” he yells.

“She called for Active Duty Military - do you have a CAC card?” I replied

“Look buddy, I served! I’m military!” He yells. Now making a scene.

“But you’re not Active Duty, are you. You would have one of these if you were.” - I hold up my CAC card. Showing my current pay grade (I was no kid at the time).

Now it goes personal, “Why are you being such a ####!” He says.

“Because you’re pretending to be active duty, when you’re not. The privilege is for those currently on Active Duty, not veterans or former service members. As an Active Reservist, I wouldn’t step into this line unless I was on active orders. It’s an integrity thing.”

“#### you!” He replies.

You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone was now watching.

But he went back to his boarding group.

I don’t regret doing it - but I might not have been so blunt if I had to do it again.

To me, it’s in the same category as stolen valor. Pretending to be something you are not, to gain privilege. It’s scummy. It’s distasteful. It’s fraudulent.

If the gate agent had, “now boarding all veterans” I would have said, “Thanks for your service”.

But it was crystal clear, “Now boarding Active Duty Military.”

/sigh

I hate when people do that crap. Or veterans trying to bully their way into USO at airports. If there’s space, will some allow vets? Sure. But it’s not for veterans. “Dadgum USO won’t let me in! Don’t they know i spent 6 months in Kuwait in the Navy 20 years ago!!1! The nerve!” Bruh, cmon.