Dorm life really worth the extra cost?

[Nyogtha]

I avoided living in any dorms. I always knew I could eat better cheaper with my own cooking. I valued being on private property, no RA's about. Always had parking for my vehicle and coukd keep a firearm to protect myself & my meager goods in the neighborhoods I lived in. I always had roommates that I was part of the selection process for, although I went without a roommate for several months midfle of my first year. It always seemed to me I'd lose way too many rights if I'd lived in a dorm, and that was back when the legal drinking age was 18, then 19. I funded my own way, so my parents didn't really have a lot of say, but they didn't object and knew how much I disliked institutional food. They agreed I could eat way better cheaper on my own, I'm a good cook and normally enjoy cooking as one of my few artistic outlets. My first year was spent 600 miles from home so no driving home except long holidays. There was always a shortage of dorm space back then at the height of the baby boom coming to adulthood so no real backlash living off campus.

I graduated college debt free, but it took me 10 years total. I learned a LOT both in & out of school vs traditional students, but it's not a plan I'd recommend to someone rlse.

 

[Nyquist]

I'm thinking back to my college dorm days which is around 16 years ago, so caveat emptor...

The dorm experience for me was primarily a positive one. Granted I made a few mistakes, but dorm life has merits that stem from:

1) Easier access to study groups. Most of those will go late at night. It might be better for grades to make those more accessible and safer for not having to drive late at night or during bad weather.
2) More exposure to people from different backgrounds. I grew up only knowing a couple demographics of society. Seeing people from other walks of life helped me gain some perspectives on my own life that I would not have otherwise had.
3) Friendships and networking. This will sound stupid, but your kid will have people that are in the same life stage to talk to. That is a big deal when it comes to talking and sorting out life's problems.
4) Allowing your child to gradually leave the nest. This can be a struggle for young people if they have never made many decisions for themselves.

 

[WhyMe]

reading so many positives about dorm living we might reconsider and let him go then. he's a smart kid, and getting direct into Foster was already a great achievement.

 

[Virtus_Probi]

When I went to school, the small group of commuters hung around with each other and rarely mixed with those living in the dorms or nearby apartments. They had a completely different social experience than those of us in the dorms, for good or bad.
I am still friends with people I met through dorm life and my present wife lived 4 doors down from me my senior year. Networking in school did nothing for me careerwise, although I did have a fast friend at my first job in a guy who was a suitemate of a good college buddy of mine (although we worked in totally different fields). He was actually the first person I saw after checking into the hotel for my interview for that job, which put the zap on my brain because we were over 600 miles from school.
My daughter is in a dorm now and absolutely loves the social scene...believe it or not, she actually gets a lot of studying done with her group of friends. Their school requires a lot of collaborative work (great idea IMHO) and it works out great in that her lab and homework partners are all within easy walking distance at all times. However, the dorms at her school are horribly crowded at present and she has a nearby apartment lined up for the next school year. She knows people already living in the building and they are still well integrated into campus life as they are basically across the street from the school. The DD's school is an hour and a half from home at best, so commuting was not an option.

Is traffic going to be an issue in your son's commute?

 

[Shannow]

My University History...
first year, went to a "feeder" university that allowed a Bachelor of Science specialising in engineering.
2nd year, moved to the uni of choice, with a cadetship with (our) DoD...dormed (in a place run by Opus Dei).
3rd year, got cadetship with electricity commission..., and dormed (mixed accomodation)
4th year, got a house with some friends for first half of the year, and commuted to uni (45 mins)...than second half of the year dormed again.

Dorming was great..
* yes lots and lots of parties...
* but I could also study as needed, regardless of the noise going on outside.
* being the "go-to" guy for others struggling cemented the things that I was consolidating...not a second of that was wasted time.
* could establish a "cram" process for exams, making sure I got to bed at 11PM, got up at reasonable time and had good breakfast (and coffee), and skim my notes while strolling to exams.

House was great...we had some good times, much less partying.

Moving back into the dorm meant that I could go to the lab to work on my thesis any time of the day or night (bar 00:00 to 6:00), as and when the inspiration hit...moving back in at the end of 4th year meant I had seniority, in a time when 2nd and 3rd years were moving out...top floor (4 floors), balcony suite, into a grove of Moreton Bay figs, that the flying foxes (fruit bats, the size of small foxes, and similar facial structure) flew to every evening...that was the evening break in studies.

First out of uni placement was (at my choice), 50 miles from my parents, so I moved back in.
Taught me another great lesson "you can't go back"

Wasn't planned, it was fluid, and had great advantages at the time.

first year or two is when your kid is going to (if at all) decide that what they started isn't what they wanted...that's an expensive waste of a year...being home will help with those conversations, and the movement forward if there's a change to be made.

The typical team building adage is "forming storming norming performing (and mourning)" (I hate that WW bingo, but it's there)... think of that in this decision.

IMO the first part, maybe two, can be done off campus, particularly if they decide to change paths.

The middle bit is great on campus when the relationships are cemented, and particularly group works become round the clock efforts, as you are all reasonably accessible....then there's the "mourning" at the end, again, poignant when on campus for that.

In short, don't blow the dough before they are settled into the course.

 

[dlayman]

I guess I had the best of both worlds. My parents lived 3 miles from campus, and allowed me to drive an old beater for free. I spent at least 16 hours a day on campus and only went "home" to sleep, so I got to experience the freedoms and benefits of campus life while not facing the cost of dorm life. It was the best time of my life. I don't think there is a universal right answer to this question, it depends on each individual situation.

I graduated with a perfect GPA in Chemistry, but I saw others doing what I did and floundering. I'm sure the same could be said for those that chose dorm life. A parent has to seriously observe and consider how their child might fare under either situation.

 

[exranger06]

Tough to say. I graduated 7 years ago and I lived with my parents and commuted the whole time. I made some friends the 1st year and hung out with them in their dorms a lot. I met a girl my 2nd year and I was constantly hanging out in her dorm that year. Also partied in that dorm a lot on the weekends. We broke up over the summer and the remaining years were pretty miserable. It didn't help that I had a tough major (engineering) that I wasn't really passionate about and I hated all the studying and work. At the time, I wished I lived on campus but my parents wouldn't pay for it. I feel like my experience would've been way better if I lived on campus, but now that it's over, I'm glad I saved all that money, so

. Make no mistake, commuting 25 miles is a LOT cheaper than dorming, even with paying for a car and gas. THOUSANDS less $$.

 

[MNgopher]

If you've got the money, then living in the dorm for a year is probably a smart call.

Speaking for myself, living in the dorm exposed me to a lot of people that I would not have otherwise mixed with, and now am lifelong friends with. The commuters in our same major never did mix in with this group, and honestly were more like ghosts to the rest of us. My friends who commuted to school here had wildly different college experiences to what those of who lived on campus did.

That doesn't mean a commuter can't be successful. Lots of folks do, and are satisfied. If it were me, I'd live in the dorm for a year and re-evaluate from there...

 

[thescreensavers]

As someone who graduated a few years ago and commuted the whole time while at college. I concur with having your son live in dorm for at least a year and re-evaluate.

 

[CincyDavid]

I lived in a dorm for several years in the 80s, got decent grades, worked 2 jobs for a total of 40 hours a week and still found time to get drunk and chase girls. The dorm was a dump.

Fast-forward to today...my youngest is in university housing at University of Cincinnati, granite countertops, stacked washer and dryer, in a suite with 3 other guys. Next year he is renting a dump of a house a couple of blocks off-campus because he is chafing at noise and commotion and roomies smoking doobies day and night. Somehow he finds time for his GF and working out but can't seem to find time for part-time employment.

Kids...

 

[Smokescreen]

Depends how soon you want to be a grandparent.

I have zero confidence in this tide-pod eating, condom snorting generation when it comes to common sense.

 

[KrisZ]

Is your son easily influenced by others, attention seeker and defines himself in light of what others think of him, or is he an independent thinker, forms his own opinions and couldn't care less what others think of him?

It is a tough decision and is definitely not a clear cut as others make it out to be.

 

[Yah-Tah-Hey]

Originally Posted By: Reddy45
Dorms suck if you're used to having privacy and quiet. How right you are 45. No privacy, some kind of nonsense going on 24/7.

 

[Huie83]

Dorm life sounds like fun but gets old quick. I did it for the first year and then rented a house about 5 miles off campus with 2 friends for like $550 a month... Way better. This was circa 2006 so prices will be a tad higher now.

Also if he is into girls, that's not great in the dorms either unless you want others to watch LOL.