the FIL is a retired 72 years old, kind off self sufficient, still green, still lucid (most of the time).
Me and wife, youngest in the family, but 5,000 miles from him.
call weekly or twice a week to check on him.
He managed to alienate all the close friends , so we are out of who to ask to keep an eye on him.
He had a heart attack about 2 years ago, got 2 stents.
Find out last year he didn't take most of his medicine, does not eat the right stuff (he also has some stomach trouble).
About a year ago both the daughters (SIL and my wife) got together and renovated his apartment so he at least has a new, clean and functional place to live.
The "thing" we want from him is for us (on our money) to hire a lady/maid to come cleaning regularly and cook for him.
He does not want to permit anybody and he only wants us there including us leaving everything we have here to go take care of him.
Of course no matter what I say is null/none/pfft
The safety thing is based on 2 experiences:
first, him at heart attack:
-my wife flies there with first available flight, got him to better/competent hospital, take care of the 2 stents operation, get him home and she wants to start the good daughter thing and take care of him.
-he locks the doors, does not give her a key, so basically she cannot buy any food or supply to clean up the apartment (he's alone, and not really good or cooking or cleaning)
-lot of yelling, yadda yadda, why did you married this guy, and so on and on. Let's just say she was really glad to be home when she left him in better health after 2 weeks
second, last year, her and SIL renovate his apartment and go there to help with cleaning + direction to construction crew.
-well again, yelling, yadda yadda, plus some luggage thrown thru the house when my wife wanted to leave since she was tired of being subjected to this while also having ours kids with her to visit grandpa. also some coarse language for the kids to hear.
-of course he also tries to lock everybody out, nobody is leaving, you do not go anywhere, finally fixed when cell pickup and "I will call the police if you don't open the door"
sorry of all the details, but I don't want anything from him. i don't care if he likes me.
what I want for him is to live in a clean, functioning place, with good/healthy food and to make sure even if he does not take his medicine, at least he goes to his family and specialist medic practitioner regularly.